


Shattering Glass

by jesuisaubergine



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Deathshipping, Explicit Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Minor Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-04-01 09:43:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 80,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13995597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesuisaubergine/pseuds/jesuisaubergine
Summary: For Kek, the world is nothing more than an illusion - a false pretense of happiness in a shitty world. In his life of anger and confusion, a certain barista walks into his life, leaving all his preconceptions of the world in shambles. But perhaps Kek isn't the only one whose world is about to be shattered.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> And finally for some deathshipping.
> 
> In a completely different style from the traditional jesuisaubergine, I wanted this story to be less plot driven and more character driven. Think more slice of life with these two characters in how their encounter changes each other.
> 
> So being up front - this isn't very good (at least by my standards because I love a good plot). But I'm still proud of my baby and want to get it over to AO3.
> 
> (I'll post half the chapters tonight and finish the rest this weekend)

Kek let out an irritated sigh, glancing up at the clock. Only a few people milled about the coffee shop, yet somehow his cashier was still taking forever to get him his cup of coffee. He hated being around people – he always had. He hated the mundane and forced cheerful atmosphere. He could tell from the drained expressions around him that these patrons too suffered from a long and dreary life.

Kek didn't particularly care how his fellow customers felt. He just wanted his damned coffee. He glared angrily at the figure bustling in the back. It shouldn't be his problem if this place was understaffed. This was why Kek avoided people in general – he forgot how quickly people pissed him off. Every day was a reminder that Kek still had to keep living, regardless of how infuriatingly pointless it all might seem.

Kek grabbed the cup of coffee, stiffing his cashier as he made to leave the shop. It was almost ten at night but Kek knew that he would be up until much later into the night. He would need the bitter nectar to stay awake. As Kek approached the doors, he heard a soft voice wishing him a good night. Kek ignored the waitress who handed him his hot beverage. People who were overly polite and nice just pissed him off.

Kek stepped outside, the cold February air biting at his face. He hated the cold, but then again, Kek hated most everything. Ever since he was little, there was an expectation to maintain the status quo. Even if he wasn't happy, he needed to smile. Even if he hated the person, he had to be polite and civil. Everything was seen through a rose-tinted glass, obscuring the truth that the light was just as gray and dismal as the world.

Well, Kek gave up keeping the status quo. He was done with the stained glass masquerade. If the world was supposed to be as good and kind as people make it out to be, then Kek shouldn't have had to deal with the fucking shit that was his life. Smiling didn't make his father any less insane. Being polite and civil didn't get him out of a dangerous home environment. Why bother putting up a front that everything was okay when clearly it wasn't?

Kek shook his head of these dismal thoughts. None of that mattered. Worldviews and ethics didn't get you far in life. Kek saw the world for what it was – cruel and dark. The only way to deal with it was to return the treatment in kind. Kek took a long sip of his coffee, enjoying the bitter ambrosia. He liked his coffee strong – cream and sugar only diluted the rich flavor of cocoa beans.

Kek glanced up as he saw a group of guys hanging out near the edge of the park. Kek nodded his head in inclination, greeting the gang. Ever since his family kicked him out, Kek found the easiest way to make money was using his god given strength to his advantage. Perhaps it was cruel and Kek could be a bully, but he found it as a means to provide control in his life. After a lifetime of feeling out of control, Kek enjoyed the feeling of power he could hold over others in the darkness of the night.

"Bout time you showed up." Kek felt his lavender eye twitch in irritation as he walked towards the other men loitering around. Kek said nothing though, taking another drink of his coffee instead. He didn't really feel any camaraderie to the other thugs he now spent most nights hanging out with. Often time, they would just wander the streets, mugging idiots who wanders onto "their turf" and picking fights to blow off steam. It was of no consequence to Kek who came back the next night.

"Where're we off to?" Kek muttered, feeling anxious to move away from the street lights.

"Don't know. Dartz isn't here yet. I imagine we'll hit up Keith's bar tonight." A man with short brown hair spoke, an odd Australian accent slip through. Kek just snorted as he looked around. If they were going to the bar tonight, then Kek would likely have a killer hangover the next morning. He supposed there were worse ways to spend his nights.

Kek was distracted when he heard the albino next to him start to snicker. He snapped his head, his short temper quickly flaring up. "What the fuck are you laughing at, Akefia?"

Akefia just smirked, shrugging his shoulder. His white hair stood in stark contrast to his dark tan skin. His scar across his right cheek was like a jagged bolt that tarnished his otherwise attractive appearance. It gave him the illusion of something more demonic than human. "Oh nothing, really. Just the idea of you picking up girls at coffee shops being the reason you're late is nothing short of amusing."

Kek scowled, confused by the statement. He raised his cup to finish his drink when he caught the ink mark on the side of the cup. His scowl grew as he realized the source of Akefia's loud, maniacal laughter.  _Fucking waitress gave me her number?_  "The fuck is this?" Kek managed to growl out, ignoring the bemused snickers around the group.

"Looks like you got that chick's number while you were grabbing coffee. Lucky bastard." Alistar muttered, looking more annoyed by that development.

Kek failed to see the fortune in such occasion. He glared angrily at the number scrawled on the side of his cup. "Well fuck that bitch. I'm not going to call her."

Akefia smirked as he raised his clasped hands to rest them behind his head. "Passing up the opportunity to get laid, Kek? Tsk, tsk. I wouldn't be so hasty to say no. A good fuck might be what you need to loosen you up."

"Piss off, you shithead."

"Did she have a good ass? Might be worth a date if so," Valon asked, almost thoughtfully. Kek glared at the guys around him, feeling even more annoyed and embarrassed as this conversation continued on.

"How the fuck should I know? I wasn't paying attention." Kek crossed his arms, still holding that damn cup. The only reason he hadn't was because he still wasn't done with his drink. All teasing aside, Kek needed some caffeine to stay awake.

"You didn't notice a hot chick hitting on you? You're more hopeless than I thought." Akefia just sniggered at Kek as he started to walk away. The group slowly followed, laughing. Akefia typically took the back seat on their excursions out, but when he got fed up with waiting, it was best to just keep moving.

Kek muttered some vague threats to the lot if they kept up their jabbering. They laughed but dropped the topic as they made their way down to the Patriot's Tavern. Kek followed behind, glaring at the back of Akefia's head. That albino could be a real jackass and took immense pride in that. But he wasn't the issue – it was that damn cashier at the coffee shop who gave him his damn coffee.  _This is so fucking annoying._

Kek looked down at the crumpled cup in his hand, shoving the cup into his pocket.  _Well, whoever this_ _"_ _Ryou_ _"_ _chick is, I_ _'_ _ll make sure she doesn_ _'_ _t make the same mistake again._


	2. Chapter 2

Kek felt the pangs of a headache start the following morning, his body angry over the amount of alcohol he ingested. Kek hadn't cared earlier, sleeping soundly until the sun started to rise. With the first signs of light, he snarled a vague threat, turning over to shove his face deeper into his pillow. The effort was useless as Kek felt the throbbing pain of his hangover start to kick in.

After a few minutes of groaning and tossing in bed, Kek decided to finally do something to fix his headache. He haphazardly sat up in bed, yanking the curtain to block out the blinding light. Kek moan, his head now aching from the alcoholic abuse he forced his body to endure the previous night. He rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand, licking his dry lips. Kek blinked one eye open to stare at the clock. It was after one.

Kek just rolled his eyes, stumbling to his feet as he got off the mattress and stumbled towards the hallway. He crossed over to the bathroom, grabbing some aspirin. Not feeling like wandering towards the kitchen to find a cup, Kek ran the faucet instead, scooping up some water before swallowing the pills. Once he had taken the meds, he ran a hand through his wild hair, staring at his reflection.

His wild blonde mane was relatively unchanged from the previous night. Despite all of Kek's efforts, he could never get his hair to do anything except stand up on its own. It looks like he might have been struck by lightning – for all he knew, he probably was. His angry lavender eyes glared back at him. He looked over his shirtless physique, feeling himself growing frustrated. Even though he had escaped, his face looked too much like  _him._

Kek growled as he stepped away, grabbing a t-shirt he spotted on the floor by his bedroom. It didn't smell bad, so Kek just threw it on. He was probably going to shower today anyway. Until then, boxers and t-shirt would suffice while he found food. Kek opened up the door of the fridge, which was empty save for a few take out containers. Kek grabbed one at random, sniffing to see if it was edible.

Kek nuked the leftover noodles before wandering out of his kitchen, plopping down on the old, worn out couch. Most of Kek's stuff in his apartment was used stuff that he found either dumpster diving or at a thrift store. Kek poked at the stuffing that stuck out of the cushion. He cracked his neck as he started slurping his noodles, which were slightly soggy. Kek could stomach the leftovers if it meant making his headache go away sooner.

Kek glanced numbly around, his eyes heavy as he stared at the junk collected. Kek didn't make a lot of money mugging people, but it was enough to find a place to call home. After several months on the street, Kek grew to appreciate the safety that could be found with a place where he could rest his head without always having to stay on guard. Even still, Kek felt defensive and flighty, never being able to truly rest.

While the money he had was enough to pay for rent and food, most everything else was hand-me-downs and dumpster dive discoveries. He stared at the odd collection of CDs and cassettes he found along with speakers and a stereo system. He knew these items were becoming more dated, but music was stress relieving at times. It didn't hurt that blasting the music as loud as he could pissed off his neighbors. That was always fun.

Kek gazed upon his collection of broken tech ware, dirty books, and other useless contraptions he dragged back just so that he could say he owned stuff. He narrowed his eyes as he thought. His life, for the most part, was fairly repetitive. Eat, drink, meet with the gang, get drunk, pick fights, sleep, eat, get even more drunk… There was something reassuring and yet deadening about the repetition in his life.

Every day was the same drag of life. Kek preferred to keep to himself, venturing out only as need be. The only time he bothered voluntarily hanging out with people was with the guys he spent each night with. Dartz fancied them a gang, trying out different names like "The Underworld" or "The Orichalcos" or some other shit that Kek couldn't be bothered to remember. Kek didn't really care about why or how they came to be.

For what it was worth, those idiots were tolerable because they shared a similar sentiment that Kek had towards the world. They also knew the world was shit, that everything around them was shit, so why give a fuck? After having to deal with happy-go-lucky idiots all day, a healthy dose of realism was refreshing to Kek. There was no need for censorship, no point in niceties. They could be awful, shitty people together.

_If that's not friendship, I don't know what is._

Kek finished off his leftovers, the sharp migraine barely dissipating. Kek groaned as he leaned against the arm of the couch. Something jabbed at his side. Confused, Kek looked down, noticed his coat draped over the arm of the seat and something protruding from his pocket. He dug around until to pull out a crumpled coffee mug. Kek stared at it for a moment, puzzled for a moment before the memory hit him again. That damned phone number.

Kek growled, crunching the cup even more in his hand. He had nearly forgotten about last night's embarrassment. The guys continued to tease and harass him for the rest of the night. Eventually, Kek threatened to suffocate the next idiot who dared tried to mock him. Though no one died, Kek was quick to punch a guy who knocked into him at the bar. The brawl had been exactly what Kek had needed for his nerves.

Even though he knew he should probably just drop the issue, Kek still felt rather pissed for embarrassing trip he experienced. Whoever this bitch was who gave him her number made him fucking mad. Kek slammed the cup down on the table in front of him before standing. He glared for a moment longer before leaving his living room. He would make sure that dumb waitress wouldn't make the same mistake. After a shower and probably more leftovers, Kek could deal with this issue.

* * *

 

Kek didn't end up leaving his apartment until several hours later. He stubbed his toe getting out of the tub, which only ignited his short temper and flared up his headache again. After a bout of cussing and swearing, Kek was back on the couch, eating more cold leftovers. He probably shouldn't drink as much as he did. He probably didn't really care though.

Kek felt the cold winter air breezing through his wild hair, fighting against the wind as he made his way downtown. He was backtracking towards the coffee shop from the previous night. The lingering headache only served to sour his already foul mood. Whoever this bitch "Ryou" is, she was going to regret ever making him look like a dumb jackass in front of his friends. Regardless of whether it was really her fault or not. Kek didn't have good reasons behind why he was pissed all the time.

Kek spotted the coffee shop at the corner, glowering slightly as he sped up his pace. He walked into the warmly lit store, part of him glad to be out of the cold, bitter wind. He narrowed his eyes as he looked around, trying to spot the waitress who served him yesterday. He didn't recognize anyone, but then again, he was barely paying attention to the people there last night. Deciding to get answers, Kek marched to the front to the cashier standing there, bypassing all other customers.

The girl looked surprised as Kek cut in front, the patron behind him glaring. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you wait your turn in line before I take your order, please." The teenage girl started before Kek cut her off.

"I don't give a fuck. Tell me – do you know someone named Ryou who works here?" The cashier blinked, rather flustered by Kek's brashness. She glanced over her shoulder towards a coworker before looking back.

When Kek didn't get a response, he growled in frustration. "I asked a fucking question – do you know a Ryou here?" The girl jumped slightly, another coworker coming up to join her upon seeing the disgruntled Egyptian heckling the young lady.

"Yes, we know Ryou. Why do you ask?" Kek narrowed his eyes, straightening up slightly as he glared down at the two smaller girls. He didn't recognize them from last night. "Where can I find Ryou? I have a score to settle."

The cashier blinked before flicking her eyes back over at her companion. "Uh… Ryou's on shift right now, taking orders. Perhaps you can wait until his br-" Kek didn't hear the rest of the young woman's response, turning around as he started walking towards the seating area.  _Ryou's working? Perfect – I can settle this now._  Kek stormed past some tables, spotting a young woman with long blue hair tied up in a ponytail. That had to be her.

"Hey, you there. Are you Ryou?" He yelled, startling the young woman who was cleaning up a table. She jumped at the loud voice, turning around in shock and surprise. She trembled slightly at the tall man that was glaring down at her, shaking her head. "No, I'm Miho. Ryou's my co-wor-"

Kek felt his patience snap. "I fucking know she works here? So where the fuck is she?" Miho flinched, her lip trembling as she struggled to find a response. Kek clenched his fists – he hated how pathetic she was acting. All these people were pissing him off. How hard was it to find one damn chick in this place?

"Well, I don't know about she, but I know Ryou is standing right behind you. And he would appreciate it if you wouldn't harass his coworkers."

It was Kek's turn to blink, snapping his head around to stare at a white-haired figure behind him who had just spoken. Initially, Kek thought he must be a girl due to the long hair. A moment later, Bakura realized that this person standing behind him was a boy. An extremely effeminate boy. His white hair was the most stunning feature that Kek noticed, the strange snow-colored locks looked rather soft and ethereal. Kek wasn't even sure if this kid was even real. If this was even Ryou.

It was only when Kek glanced down to read the name did it finally sink it that this boy was Ryou. The albino stared at him with a raised eyebrow, his expression unamused. He wore a green apron over his white t-shirt and tan slacks, most likely a work uniform. His long white hair was pulled up in a ponytail. His dark brown eyes stared at Kek, stern yet not unkind. If anything, he seemed more miffed by Kek's behavior than scared.

…  _A guy gave me his number?_

Kek realized he was standing there staring like an idiot. He had barely gathered his thoughts, but he snapped at the albino in front of him. "Why the hell are you a boy?" To Kek's surprise, Ryou just snorted, a slight smile growing on his face. It seemed almost condescending. "Well, when a woman and man love each other very much…"

Kek flushed at the remark, getting angrier by the snarky attitude. "I know how, goddamn it! But why the fuck did you give me your number?"

Ryou just raised his eyebrow even higher, his expression puzzled. A moment later, he smiled, laughing lightly. "Oh, that. Yeah, I thought you were cute, so I gave you my number in case you were interested. Though to be honest, I wasn't expecting this kind of reaction."

Kek blinked, almost startled by the candor of the albino in front of him. Of all the things he had been expecting, this wasn't quite it. It expected some cheerleader with her head up in the clouds, giggling like the ditz she was. Never in his wildest expectations had he expected a snarky, confident guy flirting with him. _What the actual fuck?_

Kek growled but before he could begin his tirade, Ryou turned away, pulling out a pencil that was tucked behind his ear. "Hold on sec, I've got to help out these customers." Kek blinked as he watched Ryou turned to the couple seated next to them, cheerfully asking for their orders before running towards the kitchen. Was he really that detached from the whole situation that he could blow off this goddamn thing like it was nothing?

Kek snapped to his senses as he stormed after Ryou. "I wasn't done talking to you!" he yelled at the retreating albino, who was now busy asking one of the baristas for the drinks in question. To his surprise, Ryou just turned around, calm with a polite smile on his face. This only aggravated Kek more, this fucking behavior. "Stop avoiding me, you little shit!"

Ryou just tilted his head slightly, an innocent smile on his face. "Well, I'll listen, but you'll need to lower your voice. If you have a problem with me, that's fine – but I can't have you yelling in front of my customers. I won't get good tips if you do that." Ryou stepped lightly around Kek, cappuccinos and apple tarts in hand as he made his way back to the table.

Kek hated being reprimanded, but being ignored was even more infuriating. Ryou wasn't the least bit frightened by the angry Egyptian that stormed around the coffee shop. He instead went about business as usual, almost as if he were discussing the weather. This blasé attitude was pissing Kek off. If he wanted to get his point across, he was going to spell it out for the fucking asshole.

Kek trailed after Ryou, who was cleaning up a table, collecting cups and plates as he wiped down the table. "Listen, you fucker-" Kek started, snarling the words.

Ryou just glanced over his shoulder, sparing a glance in his direction. "Indoor voices please."

It was like that damn idiot was trying to piss him off. "I'll talk in whatever volume I fucking want."

"Suit yourself. I'll tune you out then."

"Like hell you won't! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

"Are you going to be civil? Because I frankly don't need another ex-boyfriend coming in here and bitching me out."

"I'm not your boyfriend, you dickhead!"

"You wish you were. Speaking of boyfriends, was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Kek glared down at the albino who now turned around to face him. Ryou just stood there, leaning against the table with his arms crossed, rag still in hand. He had a dry smile on his face, still not miffed by the furious Egyptian glaring him down. Most people usually shook or trembled when they were on the receiving end of Kek's rage and anger. Ryou seemed rather indifferent to his murderous gaze.

_What the fuck is up with this kid?_

Kek wasn't sure whether to be impressed or annoyed by Ryou's almost carefree attitude towards him. Didn't he realize that one wrong statement could result in Kek finally losing control and just attacking this snarky asshole? Kek usually was good at behaving in public when it counted, but damn it, Ryou was really pushing his buttons on this.

Kek narrowed his eyes, pulling out a crumpled cup from his pocket, the ink still visible after the wear and tear. "You gave me your fucking number last night. Fucking why?"

Ryou's smile widened, though it seemed less cynical and more amused. "Like I said – I think you're cute. Figured I'd take a shot and see what happens."

Kek didn't find this as amusing. "You think is some kind of joke?"

Ryou shook his head. "Not in the least. I mean it. I'd like to go on a date with you. You seemed like the aloof loner type. Granted today, I've quickly found out you're more of the dick-ish asshole type, but that's fine. I've dated a lot of assholes in my time. Trust me when I say I've dealt with worse."

 _None worse than myself._  Kek couldn't shake the feeling of suspicion as he stared down the smiling albino. Ryou may have dated some jerks in his date, but Kek seriously doubted that Ryou could have dated anyone less pleasant than himself. "Thanks to your little note last night, I was the laughingstock among my friends last night. Give me one reason why I shouldn't punch you in your fucking face right now."

The threat of physical violence did nothing to change Ryou's composure. "Well, for starters, you really don't want to deal with the legal repercussions of physical assault. That's never fun. And your friends made fun of you for picking up a guy's number? Are they homophobic?"

Kek wasn't sure why this tangent distracted him, but for some reason, he felt the need to explain his defense. "No! They thought you were a chick! Like I'm some nice guy picking up numbers."

"Yes, because everything about you screams 'nice guy.'"

"Fuck you! God you piss me off!"

"I get the feeling that's not really hard to do."

"Do you have a fucking off switch?"

Ryou just laughed at that comment, raising his arms about his head as he stretched. "Not really. It seems I've found your switch though. And I'd love to see what turns you on."

Kek was getting back to snap back at the cheeky albino when he paused, mind suddenly going blank at Ryou's retort. What was Ryou actually flirting with him right now? Kek shook the thought as he tried to focus, pausing for a moment when he saw the grin on Ryou's face.

"What's the matter? Cat got your tongue?"

The tease was all that was needed to piss Kek off again. "Fuck you."

"Is that an invitation?"

Kek was rendered speechless for a moment, baffled by the daring comment. So it wasn't just a slip of the tongue – Ryou was being intentionally lewd with him. Kek wasn't sure if this should piss him off or if he should be flattered. He went with the default emotion. "Shut the fuck up for one goddamn second."

Ryou shrugged slightly, but said nothing. That damn smile was still plastered across his face. Kek growled at the sight. "Stop smiling, you fucking git."

"Why?"

"Because you're pissing me off!"

"That's not a good enough reason. I think I'll keep smiling."

 _What the fuck is going on?_  Typically when Kek dealt with people, they usually backed down and gave him what he wanted. Why wasn't Ryou doing the same? He seemed to enjoy pushing his luck and seeing how far he could go. It was infuriating. Kek felt the urge to punch Ryou in the face for good measure, but at the same time he didn't want to. He felt like Ryou would win if he did that. It was like Ryou was trying to see how long it would take to finally push Kek over the edge.

If Ryou wasn't careful, he would learn that it didn't take much to push Kek over that edge.

"What the hell is your problem?" Kek growled, trying to force himself to calm down. He was struggling to keep it together with the smiling idiot in front of him.

Ryou rested his hands on the table behind as he leaned back slightly. "I should be asking you the same question. You've been acting like a psychopath this entire conversation."

_You have no idea._

"What the fuck are you trying to get at? I want you to fucking piss off and never bother me again."

"Then why hunt me down? If you didn't want to see me again, all you had to do was throw away the cup and be done with it."

Kek wasn't sure why, but that question made him pause for a moment. He dismissed the thought as he narrowed his eyes, focusing on making sure his fists didn't shake. "I came to make a goddamn point so that you never make that fucking mistake again."

Ryou furrowed his brow, as if contemplating his words. After a few moments of thinking, Ryou shook his head. "I don't think that's true."

"Of course it is. You pissed me off. Now I'm telling you to piss off. Get the picture?"

"Do you live alone?"

The question caught Kek off guard, his anger dissipating slightly as he leaned back. It was his turn to look confused. "What?"

Ryou repeated his question, his eyes expressing endless patience. "Do you live alone?"

Kek wasn't sure why he answered the question. He shouldn't answer the question. This whole conversation was stupid. He should just leav-

"Yes."

Kek wanted to smack himself for answering back, but Ryou just nodded, as if this confirmed something. Ryou raised a hand as he bit lightly on his thumb as he thought for a moment. "You know, that sounds right. I don't think you came here because you were angry with me. I think you came here because you were lonely and curious."

 _Where the hell was Ryou pulling this from?_  Kek was not some lonely puppy needing attention. He had been living on his own fine – people just pissed him off. He was rather content with his solitude lifestyle. Ryou was just another reminder of that. Fucking son of a bitch.

Kek's angry lavender eyes glared down at soft, brown eyes, dark like the night. Kek hated the sympathetic look on Ryou's face. Like he was trying to understand him.

"Like hell I did." Kek grumbled out his response, though he hated himself for sounding less angry and softer in his response.

Ryou's soft expression broke as he laughed softly, though he avoided Kek's eyes. "Just a theory. Well, whatever the case may be for you, I'm glad I got to see you again."

The familiar flare of suspicion rose up again in Kek. "Why? So you can torment me more, you dickwad?"

Ryou raised his head back to look back at Kek. He was still smiling, but this smile was different. It felt less like the polite, plastered look that Kek was ready to smack off his face. This one was softer, warmer and… real. Kek snorted at himself for thinking in that manner – smiling idiots were all the same and they pissed him off to no end.

Ryou's stupid face brought back Kek from his thoughts.  _Right. Stupid fucking smiling idiot. Focus._  The albino didn't notice Kek's thoughtful quandary. "Hardly. I wasn't sure if I would see you after I gave you my number. I thought I'd give it a shot. Because even if you weren't eager to see me, I was definitely excited to see you again. So I'm glad."

Kek took a step back when Ryou suddenly took a step forward, startled. Kek felt his defenses flare up, jerking to attention as if expecting a fight. Ryou seemed to sense this, pausing a moment as his facial expression seemed to register Kek's fight or flight instinct. The two stared at each other, Kek not sure what to expect from the annoying albino in front of him.

After a few moments, Ryou sighed, his smile tinged with a hint of sadness. He grabbed the pad of paper at his side as he scribbled something down. "I can probably guess what your answer will be, but here's my number anyway. Just in case. If you're ever interested in going on a date, shoot me a text. You know where to find me."

Ryou ripped the piece of paper off, leaving it on the table next to Kek. He gave a little wave as if to say goodbye, a small smile plastered on his face. One that was practiced and forced. Kek said nothing, glaring at the retreating albino as he left. He hated when people pretended to be happy and cheerful when they weren't. Ryou was a prime case of this bullshit and it still pissed Kek off.

Kek snorted, feeling still pissed off and energy not spent. His conversation with Ryou did not go at all as planned. Kek didn't really have a plan except scare the shit of the kid, but even that didn't work. Instead, he felt flustered and frustrated rather than Ryou. He growled, knowing that any attempts to follow the brat now would accomplish nothing. In the end, Ryou had the final say and Kek was left to go back home with his tail between his legs.

Kek snarled, banging his fist on the table as he turned away. This was an entire fucking waste of time. Kek didn't have time for this bullshit. Nothing was accomplished and he still felt angry as hell. Kek decided to remove himself from the coffee shop before he actually did try to cause any harm, snatching the slip of paper and shoving it in his pocket as he left.  _Fuck you Ryou, you son of a bitch. Burn in hell, you fucker._


	3. Chapter 3

Kek flipped through channels of the television, glaring at the harsh light as he surfed for something to watch during the afternoon. Days later and Kek still felt angry and frustrated about his conversation with Ryou. Kek hadn't tried to confront Ryou again. He had a sense that would only feed into Ryou's goal of pissing him off. He had to think of another way to ward off the annoying son of a bitch.

 _But then again, if I didn_ _'_ _t want him to annoy me further, I could have just not gone back._ Kek hated when logic dictated that he could have avoided this issue. Had he not wanted to deal this snarky dickhead, he could have just not come back to the same coffee shop. That would have solved his problem altogether. Hindsight was 20/20, much to Kek's chagrin.

But it was never about finding a solution – it was a matter of expressing Kek's continuous anger and rage. He was always in a sour mood, and Ryou had been nothing more than a personification of all that annoyed him – polite, forced cheerfulness and show. Nothing about the kid was authentic and everything about him was irritating. He had that happy-go-lucky "nothing is wrong if I wear a smile" attitude about him.

_I definitely don'_ _t need that in my life._

Kek continued his mindless search for quality television when he heard a knock on the door. Kek raised his head to glance over his shoulder, raising an eyebrow.  _Who the hell would knock on my door?_  Kek didn't talk to him neighbors, nor did he have any friends. There was his fellow gang members, but Kek hadn't told them where he lived. He preferred his solitude and wanted to keep it that way.

Another knock from the impatient asshole at the door forced Kek from his seat. He grumbled as he walked to the entrance. As he opened the door, he spotted the long black hair and blue eyes, instantly wishing he hadn't decided to answer. Kek glared at the young woman in front of him, who glared back, her expression harsh. Kek could see the judgment written all over her face.

"What the fuck do you want, Ishizu?"

Kek's elder sister ignored the profanity, though Kek could tell his language irritated her. She could never shake her habit as elder sister and mother figure to her brother. Kek felt his annoyance increase as he saw her face twist slightly, almost as if in disgust. Ishizu's judgmental stance was the last goddamn thing he needed today.  _As if my mood couldn_ _'_ _t get any worse_ _…_

"You took mother's necklace. I'm here to get it back." Ishizu stated plainly, her arms resting at her side, though Kek noticed that her fists were clenched. Like she was holding back her anger or worse, she was ready to defend herself from her brother.

"You're barking up the wrong tree. I don't have it." Kek stated lazily back, using his body to block her view into his apartment. He hated the look on her face, and he didn't need to give her more ammunition to condescend.

Ishizu glowered, her expression darkening. "Yes, you do. I know you took things that weren't yours when you left. I won't fight you to get all of them back, but I'd at least like my mother's necklace back."

"Our mother." Kek snapped, his eyes narrowing. Ishizu and the rest of his siblings could treat him like shit for all he cared – but he was still part of their family. Despite how much they might wish otherwise.

Ishizu blinked at the retort, but her resolve was unwavering. "You lost the right to call her mother the day you killed our father!"

Kek felt his temper flaring up again, slamming his hand against the doorframe. "Then you shouldn't have let the bastard hurt us!"

Ishizu jumped as Kek punched the frame next to her head. Her expression was severe, but Kek noticed the slight tremor that shook through her body. Despite her strong face, she was terrified of him. Usually this control pleased him, but it just pissed him off more. Kek forced himself to take a deep breath, slowly removing his fist as he stretched his fingers, relaxing his hand.

Kek glared at the door next to him, avoiding Ishizu's gaze. He didn't care about what she thought about him. He left six years ago and he hadn't looked back. Yet he couldn't shake the Ishtar legacy. He couldn't shake his family. And his family wasn't able to get rid of him as well.

Ishizu's voice broke the tense silence. "Kek. Just give me her necklace. Then I'll go and you can back to doing whatever the hell you do."

Kek let out an irritated sigh, raising a hand to the door. "Well, you'll be waiting awhile because I don't have it. Now fuck off." Before Ishizu could respond, Kek slammed the door, clicking the lock for good measure. His siblings had plenty of reasons to chew him out – stealing their mother's necklace was not one of them. Kek didn't take anything with him when he was kicked out. He didn't want to remember.

Kek stumbled back to the couch, his mood even more sour than it was a few minutes before. He turned off the TV, staring at the blank screen. He fell back into the couch to look up at the ceiling, forcing himself to clear his mind of all unpleasant thoughts. Though he was no stranger to such memories, he was much better at dealing with his anger than he was the bitter sting of regret.

* * *

 Kek watched with detached interest as Alister and Valon cornered their target. Some poor fool who worked overtime and decided to walk through the wrong neighborhood. The store clerk in question whipped his head around, looking for an exit. The night was unfortunately against him, as he was already surrounded and the clerk hadn't even realized it yet.

Kek snorted as he saw the young man make a break, turning back down the alley. He was heading directly for Kek, unfortunate as that was. Kek waited until he was only a few feet away to step out from the shadows. He saw the look of panic as the man struggled to stop his momentum. Kek just smirked as he reached forward, fist clenching around the knot of the man's tie.

Kek barely gave note as he looked down at the quivering man, who now struggled to get out of Kek's grasp. Kek held on, barely noticing his attempts to get free. He looked up as he saw Dartz and Alister walking up to him slowly. Kek just snorted as he shoved the man backwards, his smirk disappearing. He leaned back against the wall, his interest waning as the rest of the gang approached.

As much as Kek would love to get out his aggression in other manners, Dartz decided that they needed funds. The very idea of that was ridiculous, as Kek was fairly certainly that Dartz came from money. There was something about the way he held himself that seemed to indicate his family was wealthy. At least with Akefia, Kek knew that he was from the shitter and had always been part of that life. For Dartz, it was a pretense.

 _Well, whatever the hell is ambition is, it doesn't matter. Looks like I'll be able to pay my bills this week_. The thought did little to calm Kek down. He needed a good brawl, a good show of brute force to get out this built up anger that he had been experiencing all week. It started with Ryou, but it only got worse from there. The visit from Ishizu certainly did nothing to ease his growing irritation.

Kek glanced up as he saw the sap they had accosted running down the alley, Valon chasing him off and laughing as he did. Kek noticed Akefia rolling his eyes from where he stood off by the side. Akefia, though sadistic in his own right, preferred a more vindictive approach. He often scoffed and dismissed their attacks on the everyman. He enjoyed breaking a person down – Kek had noted early on to never get on Akefia's hit list. That asshole could hold a grudge like no other.

Kek heard someone calling his name. He turned his attention to see Alister smirking at him. "Since when do you duck out on our nightly excursions? You don't seem the least bit interested tonight, Kek." The Egyptian just snorted and glanced away. Alister was rather grating and his prying questions were just annoying him. He didn't want to go into details as why getting into a fight now might end up with manslaughter, even if he was averse to unnecessary death.

Kek had a policy of "an eye for an eye." People who walk at night through seedy neighborhoods deserve to be mugged for the same reason everybody on the planet pissed off Kek. Opposing gangs who picked fights with them deserved what was coming to them because they chose violence. If someone tries to hurt or piss off Kek, then they deserved whatever retribution Kek had ready for them.

Unfortunately, Alister missed that memo. He continued to goad Kek on, trying to get some sort of reaction out of him. "What, can't get it up tonight?" Kek glared at Alister, feeling his hands shake as he bit back the urge to throw a punch at his smug face.

"Piss off Alister." Kek muttered as he started to walk down the alley, ending the conversation. He unfolded his arms, though his fists remained clenched. So long as Alister knew to drop it by now, things should be fine.

"Still got that stick up your ass? No need to be a little bitch tonight, you know."

Kek knew that Alister was a fucking idiot and didn't know what he was saying. He knew that Alister wasn't really insulting him and was just doing it get Kek back into the game. But it didn't matter. Before Kek could think about what he was doing, he twisted around, his fist slamming into Alister's nose. The red head stumbled back, struggling to keep his balance.

Kek wasn't done as he swung again, punching Alister's in his right bicep. Kek could only hear the blood pounding in his ear as he continued to pummel Alister. His opponent, now with a bloody nose, tried block the attacks, but fell down. Kek was barely aware of arms holding him back as he lashed out, his anger not spent. There was yelling around him though words didn't register. He struggled to fight the arms holding him back.

Kek's rage was only broken as he felt a fist connecting with his face, his neck snapping to the side. Kek blinked as the shock was quickly replaced by pain. He turned his head back to glare venomously at their blue-haired "leader". "Got that out of your system?" Dartz snapped, his golden eyes flashing angrily. Kek didn't say anything, not giving the prick the satisfaction of his submission.

Kek stood up, violently shaking off the hands that held him down. Rafael and Valon stood close by, as if expecting him to attack again. Kek said nothing as he stood up straight to glare down at Dartz. Kek often butted heads with Dartz. Kek's demeanor and lack of respect had always miffed the self-appointed leader. Dartz preferred people he could control. Kek refused to be one of his lackeys.

Typically their distaste for each other was offset by their dislike of the world around him. But much like Akefia, Kek didn't bow to anyone. He set his own path, and if that clashed with Dartz, well then fuck him. The two men glared, almost as if daring the other to strike first. Kek wanted Dartz to strike. He wanted a reason to fight. He was already on the edge – what was another black eye when all was said and done?

Their vicious glaring match was interrupted by a cackle. The two whipped their heads to glare at the snickering albino. Akefia had a grin like the Cheshire cat on his face. "If you two ladies are done fighting, we should probably clear out from here."

Dartz let out of huff, yet still stood up straight, brushing himself off. Kek was pissed that it was already over, but Akefia had won – he had defused the tension in the air with a light jab. Kek snarled under his breath, crossing his arms as he stepped away, not wanting to be near Dartz and his cronies. He trailed slowly, glaring at the alleyway around them as they made their way downtown.

Kek wasn't paying attention where Dartz was leading them, but he had a sneaking suspicion it was to one of the bars they frequented for a drink. They had been at it for several hours that night and alcohol drew them back to the seedy nightclub. Before Kek could enter, he felt a hand catch him on his arm. Kek resisted the urge to twist the hand away, jerking away from the contact. Kek hated being touched as a general rule of thumb.

Kek met Akefia's steely gaze, his amused expression gone. "Mind if I have a word?" Kek had half a mind to tell Akefia to piss off and then go get drunk. However, Kek knew that of all the people in his life, he had a begrudging respect for Akefia The albino understood him on some basic level.

Kek let out a loud sigh as he followed Akefia away from the bar, leaning against the wall of the institution. He wasn't sure what Akefia wanted, but he might as well get it over with sooner than later. Akefia leaned against the wall opposing from Kek, arms crossed as he studied the Egyptian in question. "So, what's got your goat? You've got a bigger stick up your ass than usual."

Normally a question like that would result in a black eye and an unconscious body. But since Akefia was a professional asshole like Kek, he just snorted and glanced away. "Nothing. I'm fine. Just need some liquor to make this night go faster."

Akefia didn't smirk, instead pressing the issue. "Still doesn't explain why you snapped like that earlier. Cut the bullshit. What's going on?"

Kek growled under his breath before forcing himself to sigh. Having his anger take control of his actions was not a good strategy, at least not at this moment. Akefia would fight back and he had a harder right hook than Alister. Kek didn't feel like diving in too much. "It's been a rough couple of days. The asshole from the coffee shop was an asshole and I had an unpleasant visitor from my past."

Akefia just nodded, glancing into the street. "Run-ins with your past are always unpleasant. But I'm a bit surprised you ran into your barista again. I figured you would have dodged that place."

Kek rolled his eyes, his irritation growing at the thought. "I went back to teach him a lesson. Turns out this guy's a real dickhead and didn't care. Still wanted to go on a date with. So I got a bigger headache in the end for what it was worth."

Akefia couldn't hold back a snort. "A guy asked you out?"

"Fuck you."

Akefia just laughed out loud, a large grin on his face. Before Kek could snap back, Akefia gathered himself. "Sorry, just wasn't expecting that. I get why you're pissed. And it sounds like you need something to help blow off some steam."

Kek sighed, but he didn't disagree. Akefia hit the mark on that one. "I just want to beat the shit out of that sniveling fucker and be done with it."

Akefia smirked and shrugged. "I'm not disagreeing. But that's not to help you vent your anger in the way you want it to. You're going to feel more tense afterwards."

"What do you know?" Kek snarled.

"Enough to know that a fight will just get you more riled up and won't relax you."

"The fuck it would." Kek muttered, though he was less sure of his response. Akefia wasn't wrong – fights only got his blood pumping and made him feel furious. Chances were it would become a vicious cycle of violence and anger issues. Truly the story of Kek's life.

Akefia pushed off against the wall, walking towards Kek until he stood in front of him. Kek watched in suspicion, wondering what Akefia was trying to pull. After a few moments, Akefia spoke again. "Is he hot?"

Kek wasn't sure what Akefia was asking. "What?"

"The guy who gave you his number. Is he hot?"

Kek was bewildered by the question. He shook his head, not really answering. "I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. He was pissing me off. Why does that even matter?"

Akefia chuckled, his smirk widening. "I was just thinking that the best way for you to cool off and get out some of your aggression is a… different form of heated emotions."

It finally dawned out Kek was Akefia was getting at. Kek grimaced at the snigger coming from the albino. "I wasn't joking when I said a good fuck might be what you need to get you to loosen up," Akefia stated, an amused look in his eye.

 _Is Akefia just trying to piss me off? Fucking asshole._  Kek stood up tall, uncrossing his arms. "Shut the hell up, Akefia. I'm not fucking around."

"Neither am I." Akefia retorted back, his smirk gone as he had a more serious expression. "Like it or not, I think we can both agree that we think alike. Dartz is a fucking prick, but we stick around because what else do we have to do? Out of everyone else in this shitty world, he's less annoying than others we might have to deal with."

Kek studied Akefia, as if trying to figure out if he were telling the truth. Akefia was a self-righteous git after all. "Makes one wonder why you've bothered putting up with Dartz's games this long. Or why you haven't made a power play yet."

Akefia just grinned as he crossed his arms behind his head. "All in good time. We're not here to talk about my personal life though. It wouldn't do me any good to have you as a loose cannon when I need to count on you most."

 _Fucking bastard._  Kek wasn't going to be used by Akefia for whatever stupid reasons he might have. "I'm fucking done with you."

Akefia chuckled, raising his hands as if in a gesture of defeat. "Relax. I was just joking about that last part." Kek suspected he wasn't, but stayed nonetheless. He wasn't sure why he still bothered to humor the albino.

Akefia leaned back, looking over Kek. "I got off track. What I'm getting at is this – go hook up with this mystery barista and be done with the whole thing. I'll bet you fifty bucks you'll feel better afterwards."

Kek rolled his eyes. "You're suggesting romance will solve my life trauma?"

"I'm suggesting no such thing. But a good fuck will be the kick your body's been looking for. And since someone's already knocking, may as well take advantage of the situation."

Kek narrowed his eyes, realizing that Akefia was being serious. "I can't do that! This is ridiculous. I'm not doing that-"

Akefia cocked his head to the side. "And why not? You know what I'm saying makes sense. So why the hestitation? Afraid you won't be able to get it up?"

Kek snarled at the jab. "I can get it up just fine!"

"Are you chicken?"

"Shut your fucking mouth, Akefia! I'm not scared!"

"Then why not?"

Kek let out a frustrated sigh. At this point, placating the albino seemed like a better option than arguing against Akefia. It wasn't worth the effort. "Fine. I'll think about it. But I'm not going out with that pain in the ass barista."

"And why not?"

"Cause this goddamn barista is an annoying dickbag. Like hell I want to humor this kid on a date just so I can get laid."

Akefia cackled at that. "And you're some prince charming? It takes two to tango, Kek. I think you'll have a hard time finding a chick who wants to spend time with you, given your oh-so-likable personality."

Kek bristled at the comment, but didn't say anything. The more he thought about it, the idea wasn't half bad. Perhaps the reason why he was more irritable than usual was because of some pent-up sexual frustration. This could help him out quite a bit. And Akefia was spot on with his analysis. Kek's personality didn't make much room for friends. The fact that Ryou was interested in him at all was shocking, even after the blow up at the café.

 _Loathe I am to say it, perhaps I can make this work._  Kek considered this possibility, aware of Akefia's gaze on him. Whatever he decided, he wasn't going to give Akefia the satisfaction of thinking he would take the albino's advice. "Whatever. I'm going to take a break."

Akefia nodded, a small smile on his face. Wisely, he didn't push the issue any further. "Fair enough. I was going to recommend you take some time since Dartz and his little ghouls are pissed with you. Give it some space."

Kek nodded, his lavender eyes focused on the ground. Truth be told, Kek needed some time away. His daily routine wasn't working for him, so perhaps a change was necessary. In any case, Dartz breathing down his neck certainly won't help. He needed a distraction from it all – perhaps Ryou could fit the bill.

 _Not ideal, but something needs to happen or I'll go insane… more insane._  Kek let out a sigh, nodding at Akefia as he passed him. The albino didn't stop, sensing that Kek wanted to be left alone. Already thinking of picking up some beer on the way home, Kek contemplated whether or not he would actually go through on Akefia's suggestion. Ryou was fucking annoying. Was it worth going on a date?

…  _Not like my life can get much worse._  Kek snorted, almost in defeat. Kek pushed aside the thoughts of what he would, opting to focus on finding some alcohol. He wouldn't worry about it tonight.  _Let this be a hangover for another day._


	4. Chapter 4

Kek stood in the kitchen, staring at his fridge as he searched for something to eat. Kek never cooked, so most of his leftovers were takeout boxes. It had been three days since he spoke to Akefia and Kek still hadn't followed up on his words. Kek had retreated to the privacy of his apartment during this time, seldom going out.

Kek hadn't wanted to consider Akefia's suggestion. He figured if he kept to himself and away from people who annoyed him, his sense of irritation and frustration in life would go away. However, Kek was reminded that rolling around an empty apartment did nothing for his nerves. Locking himself away was just as bad as being around people. Nothing had changed – Kek was still angry and annoyed.

Kek let out a loud sigh, shutting the fridge door. Even if he was hungry, he wouldn't be able to stomach anything in current condition. He felt trapped as if the walls were closing in on him. Even when he was away from the world, he felt an awful pressure around him. He had to escape, but leaving the room wouldn't help. Kek snarled in frustration, not sure what change he was looking for.

Kek stormed out of the kitchen to his bedroom, looking around the floor for nothing in particular. His room was a complete mess and it was therefore impossible to find anything. Kek hadn't bothered to open the window shades to let sunlight in, preferring to stand in the dark, cluttered room. He spotted his phone on the bedside table, growling as he snatched it.

As he grabbed the phone, he noticed the crumpled receipt sitting underneath. Kek was about to brush it aside and go watch TV, but something stopped him. This was completely insane and stupid. Ryou was annoying. He would probably still be just as irritating as he was before, even on a date. Akefia didn't know what the hell he was talking about. He shouldn't even be thinking about it.

But what did he have to lose?

Kek grabbed the piece of paper angrily, muttering under his breath. He swore at Ryou and Akefia under his breath, even though neither one of them was forcing him to do it. It felt like he had a gun to his head either way – Kek needed a completely ridiculous change in life. Scratch that - he just needed to get laid. And Kek wasn't exactly the most personable person. Perhaps he could make it through a date or two to get what he wanted.

Kek jammed the numbers on his phone with a bit more force than necessary. His stomach turned nervously as he listed to the other line ringing. Kek hated that he was nervous. No, he wasn't nervous. He was pissed – that's why his stomach was upset. Kek didn't get nervou-

" _Hello?"_

Kek nearly jumped when he heard a voice answer the phone. He was glad Ryou wasn't around to see him acting mental. "Is this Ryou?" Kek grumbled out, cracking his knuckles. He needed to man the fuck up if he was going to get through this conversation.

" _Yes, that's me. Who's calling?"_

Kek took a large breath, still not believing that he was doing this. "This is Kek."

"…  _Who?"_

Kek blinked for a moment, confused.  _How the fuck does Ryou not remember me? I just saw him- oh right._  Kek never gave Ryou his name. Kek glared at the window of his room for a moment before walking out to his living room. "Kek. From the coffee shop. You gave me your number…"

There was a moment of silence before Kek heard laughter on the other end.  _"Well god strike me dead. I didn't see this coming."_

Kek had no idea what Ryou meant by that, but he got the sense that it was probably meant to be offensive. "Don't make this more difficult than it needs to be!" Kek snapped, feeling odd about the whole situation. He had never asked somebody out on a date before, but he sure as hell wasn't going to tell Ryou that. Last thing he needed was for Ryou to start his annoying, teasing habit.

" _I'm so sorry. Lord forbid I do anything to make you feel uncomfortable."_  Even over the phone, Kek could hear the sarcasm dripping from Ryou's voice. He really was going to make this impossible. This was a fucking stupid idea.

"Fine. Forget it." Kek muttered as he decided to hang up while he had the time to save face. Before he could end the call, he heard Ryou trying to catch his attention.  _"Sorry, I'll behave now. I promise… so… why'd you call?"_

Kek wasn't sure, but he swore he heard a note of… nervousness? Eagerness? Kek wasn't sure how to take that. Kek stared around the living room, as if trying to decide what to do with himself. "… You said that your offer still stood from a week ago. Did you mean that?" Kek felt more anxious by the sound of silence that followed his question. He wasn't sure why he was afraid – it wasn't like he was invested or anything. It didn't matter after all.

Ryou's voice was soft on the other line.  _"I did… Are you asking me out on a date?"_

Kek couldn't believe he was thinking this, but he suddenly wished that Ryou would go back to being his snarky self. This serious and soft side of Ryou made Kek feel… confused. He had no idea how to feel about this change in attitude. "Only if you're interested. Don't want to force you do anything you don't want to do."

Kek tried to sound detached from the conversation. As if he didn't care about the results either way. He guessed it work when he heard Ryou chuckle on the other end of the line.  _"No, I'm definitely interested. When works for you?"_

Kek hadn't really thought that far as to what to do if Ryou had said yes. He figured he would have said no because he's an asshole. Even though Ryou said that didn't bug him, Kek had figured he was just being polite. That Ryou hadn't really meant it when he said he would be interested in going on a date.

Guess now was as good a time as any to see what a first date looked like.

"Whenever. I don't care." Kek stated, glaring at his empty calendar. The joys of being a recluse.

Ryou seemed to think for a moment before responding.  _"Well, I work evening shift tomorrow. Want to grab lunch beforehand?"_

Kek didn't really have a preference and food that wasn't day-old leftovers was always a plus in his book. "Sure."

Ryou didn't seem to mind that Kek wasn't particularly chatty. He muttered to himself before replying to Kek.  _"Alright. So let's meet outside the coffee shop I work at say, 12? We can decide what we want to eat from there."_

Kek shrugged, even though Ryou wouldn't be able to see him. "Works for me." Ryou could choose whatever he wanted to eat. Kek just had to keep his date happy, as annoying as Ryou might be. If he did that, Kek was sure they would hook up within a few dates. Surely he could survive that?

Ryou ironed out some last details before giving a chipper goodbye. Kek rolled his eyes as he clicked his phone shut. Part of him knew that tomorrow would be an irritating day – Kek didn't like eating out in public. He always felt cramped, and chances were, Ryou would be a cheeky little shit. Yet despite knowing that, Kek couldn't help but feel a tiny bit curious and even excited about his date tomorrow.

* * *

 Kek shoved his hands in his black overcoat so that they wouldn't chafe in the cold, bitter wind. The wind was blustering on the day of Kek's first date. He ignored the sting of cold air and he glanced around, waiting for Ryou to show up. Despite his coat flapping about, his hair remained completely unmoved by the gusts of cold air that buffeted the lone figure.

Kek was surprised he even made it out today. Part of him honestly thought he would chicken out. It was only because Kek reminded himself that he  _was_ Kek and that he didn't know the meaning of the word fear. The larger motivating factor to staying home was to avoid being out in a public area with someone who has proven to annoy him. This was by far one of Kek's stupidest ideas so far.

_Well, it's Akefia's idea really. So there._

Still, it was Kek who agreed to give it a shot, despite the risks. He had no good reason to go out today. This wasn't worth the headache that would follow. Yet despite himself, beyond his annoyance and dread for the day, his curiosity won out. He wasn't sure why he felt compelled to do this (aside from getting out sexual frustration), but he wanted to know, damnit.

Kek shifted in his spot, glancing over his shoulder when he spotted Ryou. The albino scampered lightly down the sidewalk, his white hair tossing in the wind. Ryou also wore a black coat with a light blue scarf. His normally pale face was pink as he caught his breath. Despite his tired appearance, his brown eyes were bright and excited. "Hey! You actually came!"

Kek raised an eyebrow, studying the disheveled albino in front of him. "Why wouldn't I?"

Ryou just chuckled, adjusting his scarf and hair with no success. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time I was stood up. Aren't you freezing without a scarf off? Geez!"

Kek said nothing but shrugged. It was strange to think that the last time Kek saw Ryou, he was ready to throttle the snarky albino. Now, they're on a date.  _A date._  What the hell was Kek thinking?

Ryou hadn't noticed Kek's figurative quandary, glancing around the area at the various shops and restaurants. "Well – what are you hungry for?"

Kek snorted and just stared off to the side. "Don't care. Pick whatever you want."

Ryou blinked before giving Kek an extraordinarily innocent smile that had to be anything but. "Well, I can already sense that this'll be a fun date."

Kek growled under his breath but bit back from snapping at Ryou. He was going to play nice. He knew he could do this. He just had to focus and not wear his emotions on his sleeves. Kek noticed that Ryou started walking down the street, not waiting to see if Kek would follow. For some reason, Kek felt irritated by this.  _Relax, you fucking moron. This is a date. Try to enjoy it, damn it._

Ryou studied the shops around them for a moment, not speaking until he spotted what he was looking for. He turned back to Kek and pointed at a small shop off the corner. "Up for some ramen?"

Ramen. Kek liked ramen enough. He could do that. Kek nodded as the two of them walked into the crowded restaurant.

The moment they were inside away from the cold wind, Kek started to regret this decision. Other people must have had the same idea as Kek and Ryou as the shop was packed. People kept bumping into Kek and Ryou, and Kek quickly found his nerves being tested. He hated being around all these people. He wasn't claustrophobic, but all these people crowding his space made Kek want to lash out and run out of the building.

He flinched as he felt something grab his hand, jerking at the contact. Kek realized a moment too late that it was Ryou, who raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Kek forced himself to take a deep breath, letting Ryou lead them away from the crowded entrance to a booth away in a corner. There wasn't a lot of space, but there was enough space away from the other patrons.

Kek studied the menu for a moment before deciding on the beef bowl. He initially worried about having to get up and order food at the front, but Ryou stood up before he could move. "I already know what I want. Want me to order yours while I'm up there?"

Kek wasn't about to refuse that offer. He had enough sense to give Ryou some cash to buy their food. Why did he care about manners or chivalry? He should make Ryou pay for his own food. He didn't care about being nice. What was he thinking?  _Then again, I don't need to give more Ryou ammo. I just need to play nice long enough to…_

_Oh who am I kidding? I can't do this. Fuck._

What on earth was he doing on a date? This was fucking ridiculous. Kek realized he should get out of there a moment too late as Ryou came back with their food. Kek was about to excuse himself, but the smell of beef was far too tempting to pass up.

Kek ate in silence, not really sure what to talk about as he focused on his food. Ryou, as always, broke the silence for him. "So what do you do?"

Kek just raised an eyebrow back. "What?"

"What do you do for a living? What's your job? You know, outside of harassing baristas on the job."

_This is going to be a very long date._

"… Freelance. My schedule changes a lot." Technically it wasn't a lie. Kek figured that mentioning his gang involvement would not be a good start to their date.

Ryou just nodded and looked back down at his bowl. Even though Ryou didn't say anything, Kek knew that this date had to be going terribly. "What about you? What do you do?"

Ryou gave a small smile, not looking up from his food. "Oh, I work as a barista at a little coffee shop."

Kek realized the stupidity of question too late as Ryou gave the blonde man a snarky look.  _Fucking shit. I deserved that one._  "Shut up." Kek muttered, gritting his teeth at the following laughter.

After a moment, Ryou kept talking. "That's one of my jobs. I'm also a bartender at a club downtown."

This caught Kek's attention he glanced up, his face revealing his interest. "Really? Wouldn't have guessed that."

Ryou just shrugged as he finished slurping up some more ramen. "It pays the bills. Beggars can't be choosers really."

Kek nodded, not sure what to say following up to that. Kek wasn't great at conversing – he usually avoided small talks. That was one of the more unfortunate sides of going on a date. Kek knew he would have to force some more small talk. He just wasn't really sure where to go from here.

Ryou studied Kek for a moment before speaking. "So what changed your mind? What prompted you to actually give me a call?"

Kek froze, not sure how to answer. He knew honesty was out of the question. He also realized he was going down a slippery slope as he was going to tell lie after lie in order to make this work. Perhaps it would be easier to just come clean.  _No. Stupid idea. Lie. It's easier._  "Do I need a good reason? I thought it'd might be nice to get to know you."

Kek knew the moment he spoke those words that that was one of the worst lies he had come up with in his life. Ryou's expression didn't change, his brown eyes unblinking as he stared at Kek. Kek had no idea what that meant.

After a few moments, Ryou turned back down to his ramen. Kek let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He looked down at his own beef bowl, which was now starting to grow cold. He moved his chopsticks to continue eating.

"So you want to fuck me. I suppose there are worse reasons to get asked out besides a booty call."

Kek started choking on the noodles as Ryou made his observation nonchalantly. After Kek was sure he was going to accidentally inhale his food, he turned to glare at Ryou, who hadn't bothered looking up at Kek and instead still focused on his food. He didn't seem upset or angry, but rather detached from it all, humming lightly as he moved his chopsticks around.

"Fucking  _what?_ " Kek finally managed to get out. If Kek thought he was a loose cannon, it was nothing compared to the bombshells that Ryou kept dropping.

"Did I stutter?" Ryou asked lightly, grabbing a menu to the side to look at possible deserts.

"What the hell are you talking about? Where the hell are you coming up with shit like this?"

Ryou snorted, flipping the menu over. "You're not the first guy I dated. And not to brag, I know I have a nice ass. I can put two and two together. And despite your aspirations, I was hoping for something more substantial than a hook up. But based on how swimmingly this date has been going, I suppose a downgrade wouldn't be so bad."

Kek watched Ryou for a moment longer, trying to get a read on the albino. She shook his head, his face twisting in annoyance. Kek tried not to jump as he felt some woman's hair brush against him as her family made her way to a table past theirs. It was still too damned crowded in here. "You think you're a smart little shit, don't you?"

Ryou smiled lightly, looking rather smug. "Well I certainly wouldn't say I'm an idiot."

"You're an aggravating son of a bitch."

"Believe it or not, that's not the worst thing I've been called. I expect better insults from you in the future."

"Fuck you, you asshole."

"Language, Kek! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"My mother's dead. So piss off." Kek snapped. He was getting really tired of Ryou making light of him.

He expected Ryou to continue his teasing, so he was surprised when Ryou looked up, his brows furrowed. He bit his lip as he averted his gaze away from Kek. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad memories."

It took Kek a moment to realize what Ryou was apologizing for. He just brushed it off, glaring at his beef bowl. "I don't care. She's been dead for years. Your attitude is way more aggravating than anything else."

"Still… I'm so-"

"Shut up. Even you apologizing is annoying. Damn."

Ryou's concerned face slow fell away, though he had a rather dry expression on his face. "I would ask why you bothered asking me out, but then I would come full circle and back to my original conclusion."

Kek growled, his nerves still on edge. He was about to respond when he felt someone bump into him as they passed, fighting the urge to snap back or jerk away. This place was still too crowded, even after they were sitting. It was hard to force himself to calm and play nice when he felt like a trapped animal.

Ryou tilted his head, his eyes narrowed in thoughts. Kek wasn't sure what he was thinking, but his thoughts were distracted by a kid running past his chair.  _Fucking brilliant._  He glanced back at Ryou, confused when he saw Ryou sit up straight, as if suddenly realizing something. Kek was puzzled when Ryou stood up, the albino quickly brushing himself off. "You done eating?"

Kek blinked and nodded, moving his bowl across the table. Ryou grabbed Kek's hand and he led him outside of the crowded restaurant. Kek let out a breath as they stepped outside, not caring how cold it was. He wasn't crowded or cramped and he had space. He felt significantly better in the fresh air away from everyone.

Ryou didn't say anything, yet he still held on to Kek's hand, gently leading him away from the crowd and away from downtown. Kek wasn't entirely sure what Ryou was planning, but since the albino was heading to a place with less people, Kek didn't see any reason to argue or fight. He followed Ryou, glancing around uninterestedly as he let Ryou lead the way. They were still on a date, so Kek thought it best to try and behave.

As they were walking, Kek decided to focus on the hand that held his. It was strange holding another person's hand. Kek was not really used to friendly physical contact. Outside of fighting, Kek essentially had no other human contact in his life. It felt odd holding Ryou's hand, though not unpleasant. Ryou's hand was soft and warm, and holding his hand made Kek feel soft and warm. But not in a bad way.

Kek was focused on the feel of Ryou's hand holding his when he noticed a lump. Kek furrowed his brows as he glanced down, noticing a knot on the outside of Ryou's hand. It seemed like an odd place for a scar. Kek had a complicated relationship with scars himself, what with his family history. He wondered how Ryou would have gotten a scar there of all places.

Kek realized he was staring for too long, forcing his eyes up as he focused on his surroundings. Kek adjusted to the brightness as he realized Ryou had led them to the pier. The docking area was empty of people, leaving nothing but the brilliant blue sky and dark navy water in front of them. The vastness of it all was therapeutic.

Kek figured Ryou would start talking, so he pleasantly surprised when Ryou said nothing. Instead, Ryou let go of Kek's hand, walking over to the railing. He leaned forward, his white hair billowing in the wind as he stared out at the water, a small smile on his face. His dark brown eyes were warm yet distant, lost in thought. Ryou sighed, glancing back at Kek as he smiled at the blonde.

Kek realized that he too was smiling.

Kek blinked, a rush of confusing feeling battling within him. He looked away from Ryou to stare at the ground. He didn't want to deal with this. This was supposed to be a simple date. For whatever reason, Ryou brought out strong feelings of every variety. It was too much. Kek wasn't supposed to get too involved. He just needed to be nice enough to get laid. Ryou was very attractive – that's probably why it was throwing him off his game.

Kek sighed as he turned back, surprised to see Ryou standing in front of him now. He had a concerned look on his face. "Feeling better?"

Kek realized that Ryou probably thought he was acting crazy.  _Well, I suppose I won't get a second date._  He just grunted, averting his eyes. Looking at Ryou's mocha-colored made it hard to think straight.

Ryou nodded, turning back to look at the sea, his expression distant. "… You really don't like being around people, do you? You're way calmer and much more relaxed now that we're away from the crowd."

Kek looked at Ryou from the corner of his eyes before returning his gaze back to the sea. "I prefer my space. Being around people pisses me off. A lot. It makes me want to strangle anyone who gets too close to me."

Kek realized that probably wasn't something you should tell people, but Ryou just snorted, his expression amused. "Well, now I know. I think it'll be easier to get you open up if you aren't so on edge."

"… Thanks."

"Don't hurt yourself trying to apologize to me. Wouldn't want you to overextend there."

Kek let out an exasperated sigh, glaring at the smiling albino from the corner of his eye. "Do you have to do that every goddamn time? Would it kill you to be less snarky?"

Ryou blinked, glancing back at Kek. His complexion grew red, almost as if he was embarrassed. "Sorry… Force of habit. I guess that's probably not helping either."

Kek thought for a moment before sighing loudly. Despite being a snarky asshole, Ryou was still too polite to a fault. Kek decided that his politeness was far more annoying than anything sarcastic comment Ryou could come up with. Still, Ryou was doing a far better job of trying to meet him halfway. "It's not entirely your fault. I could probably stand to not be so uptight all the time."

Ryou shrugged, still looking rather sheepish. "And I could resist making comments to everything… I think we got off to a rough start. Want to try meeting in the middle?"

Kek snorted, leaning against the railing next to Ryou. "So what? I'm supposed to be a fucking boy scout all of a sudden?"

Ryou chuckled under his breath, placing his hands against the railing next to Kek. "Of course. And I'll never make another sarcastic remark in my life again… wait."

Kek laughed dryly at the joke, surprising himself. Ryou looked at Kek, a smile on his face as he laughed with Kek. Kek blinked in surprise, the expression genuine and relaxed on Ryou's face. Normally, Ryou had a placid, fake smile, posturing polite and composed. Even with all of his snark and sarcasm, that light smile was always up.

The smile Ryou wore now made him look radiant. When the mask was gone, when Ryou wasn't trying to force small talk or deflecting, his sharp wit was rather entertaining.  _So long as it's not aimed at me._  Ryou was irritating, but it was an irritation that Kek realized he could deal with. Perhaps that was what he needed – if people were going to annoy him anyway, why not find someone who is the least annoying of them.

Ryou could qualify. That was convenient considering what Kek's end goal was.

Kek looked back at the water, aware of Ryou still staring at him. "Are you done checking me out or was there something else you wanted to do?"

There was a moment of silence before Ryou muttered something under his breath. Kek felt a wicked grin growing on his face. "So you  _were_  checking me out. For shame Ryou."

"Oh shut up. I was just thinking you're cute when you're not scowling."

"You know how to sweep a man off his feet."

"Oh, so if I'm a sarcastic jackass back when you're being an asshole, that's not okay, but if I give you a compliment, you can be a sarcastic son of a bitch back? That hardly seems fair."

"How is calling me cute a goddamn compliment?"

"Good lord, you really are hopeless then."

Kek growled in frustration, though the threat was nonexistent. This was a dynamic in Kek's life that was completely different from what he was used to. And yet, it wasn't all necessarily bad either. It was new and Kek didn't know how this would all turn out.  _Probably shouldn't hold my breath. People suck. Stick with the end goal._

_But still…_

Kek rolled his eyes, finding that he was being absurd. This was hardly the time to focus on this. Instead, Kek stared at the vast blueness ahead of him. Ryou said nothing, but instead stared out at the water as well. The two stood next to each other in silence, each to their own thoughts as they looked out to the sea.


	5. Chapter 5

Kek blinked a bleary eye opened, thankful that he remembered to close the blinds before going to bed the night before. He turned over to stare at his alarm clock. It was just after nine. That was actually pretty good for Kek.

Kek didn't really feel tired. The date didn't go on too late – Ryou had to work that evening. Knowing that, the two decided to hang out by the pier, not talking all that much and instead enjoying the cold, sea breeze off the water. Occasionally, Ryou would talk and ask Kek questions, but for the most part, their date was in silence. It was not at all what Kek had expected, but rather welcomed nonetheless.

Considering Kek's outlook on the day prior, he was surprised by how well it all turned out. He knew it was a good sign, as he didn't feel angry and pissed off waking up. He actually felt calm. Ryou – goddamn Ryou – helped him feel  _calm_. He couldn't remember the last time he felt so relaxed. When Ryou wasn't trying to work him up, he was decent company.

Kek sighed as he stood up, wincing slightly as he stretched. The muscles on his back tightened uncomfortably underneath his scars. Kek reached back, tentatively rubbing at his shoulders to try and loosen up the tendons. He didn't want this to sour his content mood. He was used to dealing with the discomfort his scars often brought him. Normally he could ignore them, but they still caused him pain from time to time.

Figuring a shower would help loosen him up, Kek made his way to the bathroom. One hot shower later, Kek threw on a t-shirt and a pair of boxers, using his towel to dry his crazy, blonde hair. As Kek made his way out of the bathroom, he heard a knock at the door. He raised an eyebrow as he made his way to the front door. Kek never got visitors, so he wasn't sure why he was suddenly becoming more popular.

Another knock reminded Kek of the impatient asshole waiting out front. He growled under his breath, swinging the door open. He glared at the man who was bigger than him and several inches taller. He wore a black, leather jacket to make him look even more intimidating. His hair was greasy and it was clear that he desperately needed a haircut. Kek's visitor had the bushiest and biggest eyebrows he had ever seen on a human being.

"What do you want Ushio?" Kek asked, not one to be intimidated. Ushio was an asshole, but Kek was getting pretty good at dealing with assholes.

"It's two weeks into January and you still haven't paid rent." Ushio stated, an annoyed look on his face.

Kek blinked, growling in irritation. The whole thing had slipped his mind. He glared at Ushio for a moment longer before walking back into his apartment. He opened the drawer, pulling out a an envelope where Kek kept his cash. He silently swore as he straightened out the crumpled bills, counting along the way. Once he pulled the sufficient amount, he stomped back to Ushio. "Here – 6000 yen. Now get out of my apartment."

Ushio didn't take the money, instead smirking at the Egyptian. "Now Kek, I'm going to have to charge you a late fee since we're so late into the month-"

Kek snarled in frustration, rolling his eyes. "Of course there's a fucking late fee. You're such a goddamn miser." Ushio just smiled, watching Kek. Kek wanted to punch Ushio in his smug face, but knew that doing so would result in his eviction. As much as this place was a dump, Kek preferred having a roof over his head.

"… How much?"

"2000 Yen."

Kek swore in frustration, glaring at Ushio.  _Fucking asshole is trying to rob me._  Kek wasn't in much of a position to bargain however. He pulled out the additional cash to bring up the total, glaring at Ushio all the while. Beggars couldn't be choosers after all.

Ushio stood there counting out the cash, double-checking Kek's math.  _Figures this stingy dickhead doesn_ _'_ _t trust me._ Kek was annoyed how his good mood had been ruined so quickly and effectively. With his rent paid, Ushio departed, leaving a fuming Kek at the door. He slammed it shut with more force than necessary, marching his way back to his kitchen.

After staring at take-out containers  _again_ , Kek decided he wasn't hungry, opting to head over to the couch and watch TV. He wasn't really interested in anything on the TV – he just wanted some white noise in the background. The last 24 hours had been a rollercoaster. He went on his first date yesterday and he didn't murder anyone. That was a huge success in Kek's books.

 _But it_ _'_ _s not over yet._  It was easier for Kek to think of things in terms of steps or missions. He had a goal in mind – he had been feeling overly stressed the past couple of weeks. Ryou was his means to de-stress. Kek was relieved to know that going on a date with Ryou wasn't nearly as grating on his nerves as he initially thought. He might even try enjoying them a bit.

…  _Wait what?_  Kek shook off that thought. He was acting ridiculous. The only reason he still wanted to see Ryou was because he was still horny, that's all. Even Ryou knew that and called him out on that. Which brought up another point eating at Kek's mind – Ryou knew why Kek agreed to go on a date with him. And yet despite knowing that, Ryou hadn't seemed upset about it, despite making it clear that he other thoughts regarding the direction of their budding relationship.

 _Unless he wasn_ _'_ _t telling me._  Kek realized that Ryou was far better at masking his feelings than he was. Just because Ryou hadn't shown any signs of being irritated or upset about Kek's motivation didn't mean he wasn't angry with him. Ryou was the sort of person who would be polite to your face but then dismiss you out of hand later. This was why Kek hated politeness – polite was different from nice.

Kek preferred to take the honest approach – he made it no secret how he felt about any given situation. He didn't want to deal with bullshit, and this strategy worked. If something upset him, Kek would confront it. He wouldn't let others dictate how he should live his life or how he should feel. If he was pissed, there would be hell to pay. Yet despite knowing this, one thought did eat away at Kek.

Why did Ryou agree to go on a date with him?

If Ryou was annoying to Kek, then there was no doubt in Kek's mind that he must be grating to Ryou. Kek had hardly been what most would consider a gentleman. He was crass, rude and didn't care what others thought. Logically, Ryou should avoid someone like Kek. There was only so far physical attractiveness would allow you to overlook someone's flaws.

He wasn't sure what Ryou was plotting, but something was suspicious about the whole thing. Kek had been around the block enough times to know that most everybody had ulterior motive. Hell, Kek had an ulterior motive to dating Ryou, and Ryou was smart enough to figure it out. That alone should turn him off from dating Kek. Yet, Ryou seemed to have enjoyed himself regardless.

 _Maybe he has low expectations for dates._   _Ryou mentioned he dated some real jerks before… But I don't think not being chivalrous counts as being a jackass._  Kek snorted to himself, turning to stare up at the ceiling. The whole situation reeked of deceit. Kek knew that there would no point in hounding the situation though. He was hardly a shining example of integrity after all. Still… Kek had no intentions of being used by anyone.

Kek wondered if Ryou still wanted to go on another date after their day. From Kek's point of view, the date wasn't bad. It had been rather pleasant. But it was hard to say with Ryou – he was better at masking his emotions. He hid all his thoughts behind a pleasant smile and soft-spoken demeanor. It was this same attitude that made it difficult for Kek to figure out why Ryou would want to date him in the first place.

Kek closed his eyes to block out the white ceiling above as well as his confusing thoughts regarding the strange, snarky albino, unwilling to think of the implications that might be drawn.

* * *

Kek woke up to the sound of buzzing. He blinked his eyes open, his face shoved into the cushion. He hadn't realized he fell asleep, yet sure enough it was a couple hours later. He glanced around, trying to find his phone that continued to buzz. Normally he would be pissed that his sleep was disturbed, but Kek was getting more sleep as of recently.

That didn't mean he wasn't a little bit irritated that his nap was interrupted.

Kek growled as he found the phone, buried under one of the couch cushions. He answered the phone without looking to see who was calling. Only a few people had his phone number, so he knew that the call would be unpleasant either way. "What the hell do you want?" He managed to grumble out.

" _Well good morning to you too, star shine. Don't sound too excited to talk to me."_

Kek blinked, recognizing the snarky tone. For a moment, he thought it was Akefia, though the higher pitched voice gave way its owner. "… Ryou?"

" _I would say in the flesh, but I'm afraid that's not the case. You'll have to settle for my voice."_

Kek snorted, not really believing his luck. Part of him believed that there was no way Ryou would be interested after their date. Kek was hardly a knight in shining armor. Apparently, Kek hadn't fucked up as much as he thought.

Or perhaps he had and Ryou was looking to yell at him. Either way, Kek was about to find out.

"Why are you calling?" Kek didn't intend to sound confrontational. That was the natural inflection of his voice, though. Thankfully, Ryou didn't seem to pick up on his tone.

" _Well, I just wanted to thank you for the fun date. I had a good time… And… I was wondering if you wanted to meet again soon?"_  Kek felt his stomach squeeze, hearing the nervous note in Ryou's voice.

Kek felt himself grow irrationally happy before quickly shutting down the feeling. While he had been hoping for a second date (for reasons that Kek didn't understand), a wave of suspicion also flooded. Part of him felt like Ryou was just manipulating him. Kek had dealt with enough dicks to know that people aren't nearly as innocent as they seem, Ryou included.

Even though Ryou was practically an angel personified.

Despite the warnings to not trust Ryou and that getting involved in this way was not going to achieve his goal, Kek didn't decline the offer.  _I'm just looking to get laid. Original goal. Still somewhat important. Sort of. No strings attached._  Kek didn't like getting close to people – Ryou could easily betray that trust. Kek had gone in with a simple goal, but being close to Ryou was… confusing. He was… intoxicating, like alcohol. He should back away before he got in too deep.

But then again, Kek was always bad at sticking to his original plan. He had taken on a policy of free styling it nowadays..

"Sure. Did you have something in mind?" Perhaps Kek was living dangerously by not having a plan. Or rather, he had a plan, but was completely disregarding it and just acting on a whim. But part of him enjoyed it. This was a side of himself he hadn't even realized he had, but it was exciting nonetheless. What was the worst that could happen?

* * *

Kek looked up at the apartment complex in front of him, glancing down at the piece of paper in his hand. He checked the apartment number a few more times before deciding that he was at the right place. Either way, it was too cold to stand out here forever. Kek couldn't wait for winter to be over.

Kek had no clue what Ryou might have wanted to do as a follow-up date. Their first date didn't seem like a full date – they grabbed ramen and hung out at the pier. Kek was rather green in the matter of relationships, but he felt like that their date had been rather minimal. Hell, Ryou just kissed him on the cheek before leaving. Like he was his aunt at a family gathering.

Kek sighed as he entered the building, adjusting his eyes. It was brilliantly sunny outside that the interior felt rather dim in comparison. Kek glanced around, the lobby of the apartment complex rather sparse. There was a worn, old couch that looked like the color of vomit. The carpet was ripped up at some spots and the wallpaper was starting to peel.

There weren't many people hanging around the lobby, so Kek decided to bypass the scenery and head straight to Ryou's apartment. He hadn't really thought about what sort of place Ryou lived at, but he figured Ryou was… well better off than himself. Kek's apartment was dirt cheap and he was well aware of it. He never saw the point in investing in a nicer apartment – his apartment was comfortable enough as it was.

It was bizarre to see that Ryou lived in an apartment in a worse neighborhood than himself. He had assumed that he was some brat from a middle-class family, living on daddy's paycheck. He wasn't sure why he thought that, but Ryou always seemed so clean and proper. Kek had just made that assumption on his own. At this point, he should stop trying to peg Ryou into a box and accept the fact that Ryou was completely unpredictable in the most mild-manner way possible.

Kek wasn't one to really judge though. Kek had no idea what he was doing, yet somehow, he was about to meet Ryou for a second date. How Kek managed to land himself in this situation baffled him. He had been feeling angrier and irritable as of late. Everyone around him noticed. It was Akefia who told him that he needed some time away, get laid and burn off some steam.

Well Kek hadn't gone laid yet, but it appears that he was on a different track to reduce his stress level. Was it… working? It was hard to say. Kek was desperate for a change, no matter how outlandish and absurd it felt. If he had to guess, he hadn't expected to see Ryou after their confrontation. Yet Kek actually reached out and talked to him. Although his motives may not have been pure, it was still a huge step outside his comfort zone.

So what was Kek doing now? What was the end goal in all of this? Kek's earlier goals didn't seem as important. Truth be told, this whole situation was completely different and new for Kek. He wasn't sure what he wanted out of all of this, but at the moment, he really didn't care. Hanging out with Ryou was a new experience, and it wasn't as unpleasant as Kek had initially thought. Even if he didn't understand, he wanted to. He wanted to know what convinced him to go on a second date with Ryou.

Kek was so lost in thoughts that he hadn't realized he had climbed the four floors up. Kek glanced at the large "4" on the wall indicating his floor level. He glanced down, looking for the apartment number he was supposed to be checking out. Look for letter F, Kek found the apartment number in question. This was it. All that was left was to knock and join Ryou for dinner.

Kek took a deep breath, knocking on the door with three solid taps. He glanced down at his phone to check the time. He was a few minutes early, but he figured Ryou wouldn't mind. If he did, he would have to deal. Kek felt stupid for feeling nervous, but another part of him warned against fucking this up. He barely got through their date last time. He had to keep it cool this time.

Kek hadn't known what Ryou might want to do for a next date, but was surprised when he invited Kek over for a home cooked meal. He couldn't tell if that was a big step forward or not, but it certainly felt that way. Kek hadn't even visited his "friends" places (and by friends, he meant Akefia. And by Akefia, he meant an asshole who pissed him off less than everyone else around him).

Kek knocked on the door again when he realized no one had come to answer. He knew he was early, but he wasn't that early. He stared with growing confusion and annoyance when he heard no one approaching the door. Was Ryou ignoring him? Was he out? Where was he? Kek furrowed his brow, glancing around before grabbing his phone. He hadn't received any texts from Ryou.

_Where the hell is he?_

Kek dialed Ryou's number, listening to it ring for a couple of seconds before going to voicemail. Growling in irritation, Kek dialed the number a second time. When Ryou didn't pick up, Kek snarled in annoyance, shoving his phone into his pocket. Was Ryou standing him up? No, that didn't make any sense. Why invite Kek all the way out to his apartment only to not show up for their date? Ryou fucking lived here after all.

Unless this wasn't his apartment.

Irrationally angry and bewildered thoughts flooded Kek's mind. Was this an elaborate prank so that Ryou could laugh at his expense? If so, Kek would murder Ryou. It didn't make any sense, but Kek had dealt with some real jackasses in his day. These people made him paranoid, unfortunate as that was. Preemptive as it may be to make that call, Kek's mind instantly went to the worst possible situation.

Despite the anger and frustration he felt over the situation, Kek felt a strange sense of disappointment. He didn't even understand how or why he felt that way. Perhaps it was the fact that he had an inkling of trust towards Ryou and it appeared Ryou spat on that trust. They were barely involved, but it was more involved than Kek had been with people in years. Perhaps this was just a grim reminder as to why he hated people.

Kek was bemoaning his situation internally, swearing out loud to get out his aggression, when he felt his pocket buzz. He blinked as he realized he just received a text. He checked his phone, feeling a twinge of relief and annoyance (though at whom he didn't know) when he saw Ryou's name as the sender. He opened his phone to read Ryou's message.

" _I_ _'_ _m sorry! I_ _'_ _m running late! My boss made me work late today, so I_ _'_ _m just getting out now. I_ _'_ _ll be over in ten minutes._ _"_

Kek nodded, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. His emotions had been riding extremely high until he received that text. Ryou was just late. That's all. Kek scolded himself internally for freaking out over nothing. He wasn't sure why he cared so much, but part of him was relieved that this was a simple mishap. He was also grateful that he hadn't done something completely irrational in his few minutes of panic.

 _I need to be better about that._  Kek shook his head, his energy now spent. Typically, Kek rode off of whatever emotion fueled him at the moment. He was always terrible at keeping his emotions in check. Most of the time, Kek didn't care, but at the same time, he didn't want to be completely out of control. He wanted control over himself, which was arguably the hardest thing for him to control.

Kek leaned outside the door, closing his eyes as he tried to clear his mind. Standing in the empty hallway was helpful in trying to force Kek to calm down. Ryou would be arriving soon enough and then they would have dinner. He had no idea what Ryou was planning on cooking, but Kek hadn't had a home cooked meal in so goddamn long. The last time was probably when he still lived with his family.

Kek forced away the unpleasant thoughts as he heard someone coming up the stairs, almost breathless in their approach. He opened his eyes, spotting Ryou coming down the hallway. He wore a black button short-sleeve shirt and black slacks. If Kek had to guess, chances were Ryou was coming back from the coffee shop. His normally neat hair was in disarray, Ryou looking rather frazzled.

"Sorry I'm late. It's been one hell of a day." Kek figured as much as he looked over Ryou's disheveled appearance. It was quite the change from Ryou's composed, smirking self. He said nothing but instead watched as Ryou fumbled around in his pocket trying to locate his keys. With a shaky hand, he tried to jam the key into the lock, but Ryou struggled with the task.

Kek rolled his eyes, sighing as he grabbed Ryou's hand. The albino jumped, blinking in confusion before realizing when Kek was doing. He stepped out of the way, letting Kek take his keys to unlock the front door. Kek wasn't entirely sure what happened earlier, but apparently Ryou was quite off his game if he had stopped making snarky remarks. That was the biggest warning sign of all.

Kek unlocked the front door, stepping back and holding up Ryou's keys for him to take. Ryou watched, with a curious look on his face. He sighed before taking the keys and stepping into the apartment, Kek following him in. "Sorry. Like I said. Rough day."

Kek shrugged, kicking off his shoes at the door as he followed his host into the apartment. "We all have them." Kek stayed in the background, letting Ryou get settled. He decided to take this time to look around Ryou's apartment. To his surprise, Ryou's apartment was smaller than his, which was saying something since Kek's apartment wasn't large. The door led right into the living room, with the kitchen easily visible from their vantage point.

Despite the poor floor plan for the space given, Kek was surprised by how… comfy the apartment look. Though the living room was small, Ryou had managed to angle a small couch towards the TV, which was surrounded by books and games on either side. Ryou used the limited space to his advantage. It made Kek realize how unwelcoming his own apartment felt. Ryou's was cozy, while Kek's was crowded.

"Go ahead and make yourself at home. I'll get started on dinner." Kek glanced over at Ryou, who was cleaning up some stuff laying on the couch. He could tell that Ryou was feeling rather flustered and that he hadn't meant to be so late. Ryou shuffled back to a door connected to the living room – most likely his bedroom – and closed it. Kek looked around, now alone in the living room, before sitting down on the couch.

Ryou came bustling out on a minute later, wearing jeans and a white t-shirt. Kek raised an eyebrow, spotting the shadows under his eye. It seemed Ryou had a much longer day than just this afternoon. Kek wasn't sure what he wanted to say, but any chance of a conversation was quickly dashed when Ryou's phone started to ring. Ryou dug the phone out of his pocket, letting out an exasperated groan as he looked at the caller's name.

"Hello, Mr. Shino… Yes I just got home… Sir, my shift ended two hours ago and I have plans for tonight." Kek watched as Ryou paced slowly in circles, the living room not providing much ground to travel. This was the most agitated Ryou's ever been. Ryou ran a hand through his hair, catching on some snags as he ripped at the knots in frustration.

"I'm sorry sir, I can't come in tonight… You can ask Miho if she's free. I know she was looking for some extra hours… No, that's not- I'm not trying to…" Kek raised an eyebrow, noticing how Ryou was quickly losing his temper. This was the angriest he's ever been. Kek wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it. He preferred it when Ryou was sharp-witted and snarky.

"Fine… Yeah, I can do that. What time then?... Right. Okay. I'll be there… Okay… Goodbye, sir." Ryou ended the call, tossing the phone on the small table. Ryou raised both hands up to run them through his hair, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath. There was something entertaining about seeing Ryou this annoyed, Kek decided. It was like seeing an angry kitten.

"Everything okay over there?" Kek's voice seemed to snap Ryou out of his thoughts. He pulled his hands away from his hair, glancing over at Kek. A moment later, he sighed as he fixed his hair and clothes, a small smile on his face.

"Yeah, just a little stressed. My boss keeps tacking on more hours than I can handle right now and it gets a little overwhelming. But enough about me – want anything to drink while I start dinner?" Kek wasn't sure what exactly triggered it, but he suddenly felt a rush of annoyance. Ryou gave him a light smile, walking towards the fridge in the kitchen to fetch his guest a drink.

"Ryou, if you're so fucking tired, don't cook. We can do something else." Kek growled, trying to keep his emotions in check. He suspected this wouldn't last long, but he could try acting like a normal human being.

Ryou just shook his head, grabbing a can of lemonade out from the fridge. "It's alright. I'm fine, really. Sorry to worry you." Ryou placed the drink on the counter, trying to slip past Kek to find some pots and pans. Kek grabbed Ryou by his arm, holding him in place. Ryou turned back, blinking in confusion.

"Stop putting up a goddamn front. Admit it – you're fucking exhausted. Go take a seat. You don't need to cook for me!" It was one thing to be polite for the sake appearance. Ryou was taking it to another fucking level and it just pissed Kek right the hell off.

Ryou twisted his arm away, his expression stern, though his eyes reflected uneasiness in them. "Kek, I'm fine! Just go relax while I make dinner." Ryou pushed past Kek, a frustrated look on his face. He flung open a cabinet to grab a bowl. Kek saw the glass bowl on the shelf shift. Acting on instinct, Kek grabbed Ryou's arm and yanked the young man towards him as he crashed into Kek's chest.

Ryou yelped, a complaint ready on his lips. Their argument was cut short by the sound of glass shattering. Ryou flinched at the noise, glancing back to see the shattered glass bowl at the spot where he previously stood. Adrenaline still running, Kek held Ryou against his chest, the two staring at the broken bowl. Ryou finally spoke, his voice filled with shock. "Oh god! I'm so sorr-"

"Apologize one more time and I'll punch you in your fucking face." Kek growled out, letting go of Ryou now that he was out of harm's way.

The two stood there awkwardly in Ryou's kitchen, staring at the broken mess. Ryou let out a shuddering sigh, leaning against his kitchen counter. He snorted to himself, letting his hair hang in front of his face. "God, this day has fucking sucked. I can't- it's… I know you said not to do it again, but I am sorry. I-I'm just feeling really overwhelmed today."

Despite Ryou apologizing again, Kek felt his own frustration start to unravel. This time, it felt like Ryou wasn't apologizing out of habit, but more of a genuine regret he felt. Kek could deal with authenticity any day. "Don't worry about it. You've had a shitty day. I've had a fuck ton of those."

Ryou chuckled dryly, raising his head slightly to look up at Kek. He didn't look happy, but Kek knew that Ryou wasn't having a spectacular day either. In a move that felt very uncharacteristic of Kek, he decided to do something. "Look, why don't you relax for a minute? I'll clean up the glass and if you need time to yourself, we can hang out another day. I don't give a shit, really."

Kek wasn't sure why he made that offer, but he felt like Ryou needed his space. As much as he would like to see this more genuine and raw side to Ryou, he also knew that he felt vulnerable in his own home. Ryou was the kind of person who preferred to keep up appearances and just now, he failed extraordinarily in front of Kek. While Kek didn't care, he knew Ryou did. That's just the kind of person he was.

"Well, you don't have to go… we could order take-out or something. I don't feel like cooking, but if you're still up for food, I know a Chinese place not too far from here… That is, if I haven't scared you off with me acting all crazy." Kek snorted, biting back a laugh. If Ryou thought he had been acting crazy, than Kek should be admitted to an insane asylum for his behavior.

"I'm hardly a shining example of common courtesy and civility, so I can't really judge. But take-out does sound good to me." Ryou laughed a little at that comment, standing up straight as he stretched slightly. He had a small smile on his face, but this smile pleased Kek. It wasn't forced or plastic. Ryou seemed genuinely amused.

He liked it when Ryou was real.

Ryou scooted around the edge of the kitchen towards a closet that Kek hadn't noticed. He grabbed a broom and dustpan before turning back to Kek. "Right. I forgot who I was dating for a moment." Kek chuckled at the comment, surprised by the noise. Ryou just raised an eyebrow, but Kek just took the broom from Ryou. He hadn't meant to laugh, but Ryou's snark was a refreshing to hear.

 _That's the annoying albino I know._  Kek knelt down as he swept the glass up, glaring up at Ryou as if to order him to relax. Ryou just gave him that damned smile, almost arrogant before walking to the living room. It wasn't quite the start that Kek had expected for their second date, but somehow, he wasn't surprised. He didn't get how someone as messed up as himself would ever end up dating.

After that encounter with Ryou, he's started to wonder perhaps it wasn't as hopeless as it seemed. He snorted as himself, carefully putting the glass away in the trash before joining Ryou out in the living room.


	6. Chapter 6

Despite the rough start to their date, two found themselves eventually settling in for a low-key evening. Ryou ordered food for them while Kek finished cleaning up the glass. Their food came half an hour later, Ryou looking decidedly less flustered and more relaxed. He insisted on paying for their food since he was supposed to cook for them tonight and ended up not doing it. Kek decided to let this one slide after seeing the glare Ryou gave him.

"Want to watch a movie?" Ryou asked, letting Kek set their food out and divide it accordingly. Kek shrugged, not feeling picky about what they did. He hadn't realized it when Ryou invited him over, but he was starting to understand why. Ryou had picked up on Kek's discomfort being around lots of people. Kek struggled to keep his temper in check, but it was much easier to do that when there weren't so many people crowding him.

Perhaps that's why this whole date was somewhat genius. By inviting Kek over, they would be away and on their own. Their privacy was bliss to Kek, who found that his usual level of irritation and annoyance decreasing dramatically. Ryou could be a pain in the ass, but it was easier to counter him when Kek wasn't worried about the army of idiots surrounding them.

"Well, if you're not going to make a decision, I'm going to do what I want and you can suffer. I feel like watching a movie." Ryou decided out loud, now not caring what Kek's opinion was. Kek snorted, figuring that he didn't have to feign courtesy. If Ryou didn't care what Kek wanted to watch, then Kek didn't care when Ryou wanted to eat. He opened up his carton of fried rice, digging in to his dinner.

"You ever watch The Prestige?" Ryou asked, examining the DVD case. Kek shook his head, looking up from his rice.

"No. I haven't seen a lot of movies growing up." Kek explained, picking at his rice for a moment. Ryou glanced up, his expression questioning.

"Really? Did you not have TV growing up?" Ryou asked, popping the DVD in before sitting down next to Kek on the couch. Ryou grabbed his carton of noodles and didn't waste any time digging in.

"Yeah. My dad was super conservative and not the good kind." Kek kept his eyes fixed on the TV, though he felt Ryou's gaze on him. Kek felt himself tense up unconsciously. He should probably avoid this topic if possible. This whole "feeling relaxed around Ryou thing" was throwing him off his game.

"Rough relationship with your father?" Ryou asked softly, almost hesitantly. Kek didn't respond, keeping his eyes glued on the screen so he could avoid looking at Ryou. He didn't want to talk about this. They were on a date. They weren't supposed to talk about personal stuff, right?

"… I hate that fucking bastard." Kek growled out, hoping to end the conversation. He couldn't hold back the venom in his voice. He clenched his chopsticks a bit too tight, trying to force himself to calm down. This was stupid. He wasn't supposed to lose his temper like this.

Kek jumped as he felt a hand rest on in his own. He snapped his head up, resisting the urge to jerk away. He finally looked over at Ryou, who didn't meet his eyes but stared at their hands. Ryou had a solemn look on his face, his eyes lost in thoughts. "I get it. My dad's a jackass too."

He wasn't sure, but this revelation surprised Kek. Part of him had figured that Ryou came from your typical family, both parents in the picture with two and half kids (whatever the hell that meant). Did Ryou also come from a broken home? Kek didn't say anything, staring at their hands, allowing this new train of thought to distract him from his own angry feelings.

Ryou glanced away, looking back to the TV for a distraction. "Hey. Wasn't there a movie we weren't supposed to be watching?" He teased, a small smile on his face. Kek was glad that Ryou averted the topic back. Ryou was way better at that than he was. Kek was more the brooding type.

"Yeah. Fuck our dads. Let's watch this Prestige movie." Kek leaned back, trying to brush off this incident. Kek didn't want to talk about it and apparently neither did Ryou. He doubted he ever would want to talk about his family history. Still, it came as a slight relief that perhaps Ryou wasn't as pristine as he appeared to the world. Kek had to wonder why Ryou was so focused on keeping up his guard.

"Is everything okay? Do you need anything?" Ryou asked, glancing over as he noticed Kek's distant expression. Kek shook his head as he looked back to the movie.

"Shut up. I'm trying to watch."

"Oh sorry."

"Goddamnit. What did I say about apologizing?"

Ryou blushed. "I have no idea why I keep doing that tonight." He muttered more to himself than anyone else. Kek finished off his rice, surprised by how hungry he was. He placed the empty carton down before leaning back and relaxing into the couch.

"You've had a long day. You're on edge. People do stupid, crazy shit when they're on edge." Kek caught the slight smile on Ryou's face.

"Do you speak from experience?"

"Fuck you." Kek growled out, though there was no weight to his threat. He caught the growing smirk on Ryou's face. This was the asshole he was used to dealing with.

The two fell into a comfortable silence, watching the movie with interest. Kek wasn't a movie savant by any means, yet found himself really enjoying the plot of the two competing magicians. "Am I supposed to root for one or the other?" Kek finally asked about an hour into the movie.

Ryou thought for a moment, their empty cartons indicating the amount of time that had passed. "I'm not sure. I think both are supposed to be sympathetic, but honestly, I'm way more invested in the competition. See who comes out victor or loser. That's the gaming nerd in me."

Kek raised an eyebrow, glancing over at Ryou. "I'm guessing you're the competitive type?"

"Incredibly so. Life's way more fun when there's something at risk."

This caught Kek's attention, his attention now focused on Ryou. "What sort of risks are you talking?"

Ryou stretched, his eyes still on the TV. He relaxed into the couch, thinking for a moment. "Well, my ex-boyfriend and I would play strip poker. Whoever lost all of their clothes first would bottom."

Kek blinked, not sure if he heard Ryou right.  _The first one to lose all their clothes… what?_  Kek wasn't sure what sort of twisted games Ryou was into, but he was starting to get a sense of what sort of morbid twisted fuck Ryou really was. Oddly enough, it sort of thrilled him and unnerved him. The fact that Ryou was far more experienced in the bedroom was rather startling.

But then again, Kek was a virgin. And there was no way in fucking hell he was about to tell Ryou that.

Kek decided not to say anything, still watching the TV. He heard a chuckle from next to him, already anticipating a remark from Ryou. "Suddenly changing focus are we? I figured you were eager to find a way to get into my pants."

Not that it mattered, but Kek felt the urge to defend himself. "And I'm supposed to take as an invitation? I know better than to assume we'd fuck that soon."

"So apparently you're not as dense as you seem. Call me old fashion, but yeah, I'd like to take things slow for a bit."

Kek felt his eye twitch. Ryou had indicated as much on their first date. He had no idea how slow Ryou was thinking, but it was problematic regardless. "Call it whatever you want – it still means I have to wait before I can fuck you."

Ryou just snorted, a smirk on his face. "Who said anything about you fucking me? I'm quite serious when it comes to games. Poker included. There's no way I'd lose."

"So you say. Too bad we'll never find out."

"Chickening out? Afraid you might lose?"

"So you have to work tomorrow?" Kek decided he had enough of this conversation and was ready to change the topic. Despite how useless the task might be. Thankfully for him, it seemed to work. Ryou snorted, noticing the complete change in subject, but went along nonetheless.

"Unfortunately yeah. My manager at the coffee shop has been driving me up the wall and been giving me terrible hours. I picked up two extra shifts today, and he needs me to come in tomorrow morning. And it's bad enough with my hours bartending on top of all that – I can't remember the last night I got a full night's rest." Ryou gave a heavy sigh, Kek noting the dark shadows under his eyes.

"If your hours are so fucking shitty, why don't you say something? That doesn't seem fair to you." Kek asked, not really getting why Ryou put up with this bullshit. Ryou just snorted, glancing away.

"Well, I need the money unfortunately. And it's not my boss's fault – my coworkers keep dropping shifts and not coming in, so he needs someone to pick up the slack for them." Kek felt himself growing bewildered and angry for Ryou. That was the literal definition was unfair to him.

"So why is it your problem that people can't do their job? Do you enjoy your coworkers bailing on you?" Ryou blinked, almost surprised by this outburst. He furrowed his brow as he met Kek's gaze.

"No, not really. I actually hate it. It's exhausting trying to keep it together."

Kek growled, feeling himself reaching the source of the issue. "So if it upsets you so much, why not fucking say something? Why do you always pretend it's not a big deal when it's putting a fucking strain on your life?"

Ryou didn't say anything, but raised an eyebrow, studying Kek. His expression was rather neutral, almost thoughtful. "Why are you so angry about this? This isn't your problem to deal with."

Kek was confused. Why the hell wasn't Ryou more upset over the situation than he was? Did he honestly not care? Kek could see the ongoing problem in Ryou's life and he saw what was causing the problem. Why couldn't Ryou do the same? "Because it's not fucking fair to you! And if you won't get pissed about it, then I will! You're always going around with a stupid smile on your face, but everything you've told me so far is that you're not happy in life. So why do you keep fucking pretending? What's the whole point of it all?"

Ryou didn't say anything, his brown eyes remained focused on Kek's. Ryou stood up, gathering their empty cartons to take them to the kitchen. The moment Ryou was gone, Kek took a deep breath to calm down. This was pointless. He couldn't make Ryou see the bullshit hand that he had been dealt. It pissed him off, but he couldn't force his logic on Ryou. Yelling at him would get him nowhere. He growled under his breath, leaning back into the couch.

It was odd how Kek could go between yelling at Ryou to teasing him to back to being pissed at him again. Was this normal? Probably not. Kek never had a healthy relationship in his life, so he had no clue what one would look like. Chances were, what he and Ryou were attempting was a poor attempt at such.  _I don't know how to do this. I'm trying to help, but I get angry. But Ryou didn't ask for my help either. So what am I supposed to do?_

Kek was broken from his quandary as Ryou made his way back into the room, sitting back down on the couch. Kek didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on the TV. The two remained in silence, watching the movie. Kek figured that this was Ryou's way of telling him the conversation was over. Instead of fighting, Kek figured he would get back into the movie.

Ryou's soft voice broke the silence. "You're not… wrong. It does upset me. A lot. I feel overwhelmed and exhausted and frustrated about a lot of things in life. When I think about it, I am unhappy. But I smile a lot when I don't feel like smiling. I always smile because… I don't want people knowing that it gets to me. I don't want the world to know that it's won. It's easier to pretend you have your life together than to admit that it's falling apart."

Kek didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on the screen. Part of him was shocked that Ryou would reveal this about himself. It answered the question that ate away at Kek's mind. And although he can't imagine keeping up an act like Ryou had been, he also knew what it was like to not want to admit your weakness.

It made Kek wonder if he had been putting up a front as well.

Kek raised an arm to rest his elbow on the arm of the couch. He ran his fingers through his blonde hair, trying to think and gather his thoughts. Ryou sat with his legs folded in front of him, resting his crossed arms on his knees. His chin rested on his arms, his eyes looking forward but not at the TV. Kek sighed, glancing away at the wall.

"You don't like people prying into your personal business." Kek meant to ask it as a question, but it came out more as a statement. Ryou nodded, still not looking over at Kek. Still avoiding his gaze.

"There're some things in my life that I don't want to talk about. Never have and I don't think I ever will. Old habits I guess." Ryou shrugged as he sighed.

Kek rolled his head back to stare at the ceiling. He didn't feel angry, but he felt like he understood Ryou's frustration and exhaustion. Was this empathy? Kek wasn't particularly sure. He wasn't sure if he liked it either. "Look, you're going to run yourself ragged keeping all your problems bottled in. So you don't have to pretend to be happy around me. Feel whatever the fuck you're feeling, alright?"

Kek refused to look over in Ryou's direction. He wasn't sure why he made this goddamn offer, but he preferred Ryou not lie to him about how he was feeling. Ryou had his secrets sure, but that didn't mean he had to pretend to be happy when he wasn't. The idea of Ryou pretending to be okay just to spare Kek's feelings pissed him off.

He heard Ryou chuckle, almost nervously. "You won't mind? Just a warning, I can be downright depressing at times to hang out with."

Kek just snorted, resting his temple against his fist as he watched the movie. He had no idea what was going on anymore in the film. "Better than you putting that fake smile and pretending everything is fucking dandy."

Ryou smirked at that comment, shifting in his seat slightly. After a moment, Ryou hesitantly shifted, resting his head on Kek's shoulder. Kek nearly jumped at the contact, but forced himself to stay still, feeling bewildered the entire time. Was Ryou… cuddling with him? He felt himself blushing involuntarily, but refused to look over in Ryou's direction.

"Fine. I guess I can take you up on your offer. I'm not sure why though since you don't seem to be a shining example of how to deal with emotions in a healthy manner." Ryou stated rather matter-of-factly. Kek snapped his head to glare at Ryou, staring down at the crown of white hair against his shoulder.

"Fuck you." He growled, shifting slightly to get in a more comfortable position. He wasn't sure his thoughts on cuddling, but so far it wasn't unpleasant. He wrapped an arm hesitantly around Ryou's shoulder, the two silently working together to find a happy median. As the two laid there in silence, Kek enjoyed the feel of Ryou's body pressed against his. Dare he say it, cuddling was pretty good in Kek's book.

Not wanting to voice this opinion aloud, Kek instead looked back to the TV. "So what have missed in this movie? Because honestly, I have no fucking clue anymore what's going on."

Ryou rolled his eyes, snuggling into Kek some more. "I'll try to catch you up. Lord knows how slow you can be."

Kek bit his tongue, allowing Ryou to make his cheeky comments. How on earth he ended cuddling with this asshole was beyond him.

* * *

Kek blinked his eyes slowly, his mind still groggy from sleep. He hadn't paid attention, but at some point between watching movies, Kek had fallen asleep. And based on the sunlight sneaking through the blinds, he stayed far later than he intended.  _I slept the entire night over? Why didn't Ryou wake me up and tell me to get the hell out of here?_

Kek's question was quickly answered as he realized the other body morphed against his. He glanced down, noticing Ryou asleep and curled up against his body.  _Well that's one mystery solved._  Kek thought wryly, rubbing the heel of his hand into his eyes to force away his tiredness. He tried not to shift too much, not wanting to wake Ryou.

After a moment, Kek examined his position, realizing that it was pointless trying to get up with Ryou half-laying on top of him. He figured this would annoy him, but Kek was far from disappointed. On the contrary. Kek never had the time for dating (or the patience for that matter). The idea of being intimate and close to another person, physically and emotionally, was a foreign concept to him.

Kek stared in slight awe at the mess of white hair resting on his chest. It was strange how cathartic it had been talking to Ryou about feelings and honesty. He figured he would hate such talk, that talking about it would be pointless. He didn't see the point in dragging up the topic, and yet it was a topic of discussion last night.

And Kek quickly decided that there were few things better than the shared warmth of two bodies. Kek was used to fighting, feeling the brief contact of fists against skin, the splintering of bones, the spurt of blood. The contact between people in the form of aggression was a familiar one to Kek. Ever since he was a child, human touch meant to harm, not to comfort.

And yet, Kek never felt more whole and comfortable than now with Ryou pressed up against him. He felt the most peculiar desire to protect Ryou, not cause him any harm. Instead of pushing him away, he felt the strong urge to hold him tighter and not let go. He suspected that this was normal, but this was Kek's first time encountering such a feeling. And the way that Ryou clung to him while he slept made Kek feel wanted and needed in a way he didn't know he wanted to feel.

Kek watched Ryou as he slept, not wanting to wake him up. The slow and steady rising of his breath was soothing to Kek. He felt less stressed and more relaxed than ever before. The light shifted, catching Ryou's white hair and causing it to shimmer. Kek raised a hand hesitantly, wanting to touch the white hair. It seemed so soft.

Kek ran a few fingers through the white locks, marveling at the texture. He gently continued to pet Ryou while he slept. He closed his eyes as he lowered his head slightly, smelling Ryou's shampoo.  _He even smells nice, damnit. Is this kid fucking real?_  Kek was aware that Ryou was attractive, but it seemed almost unfair how fair and lovely he was. He smiled wryly at himself for the thought. Apparently he was vainer than he thought.

Kek felt Ryou start to shift, slowly waking up by Kek's soft ministrations. Kek stayed put, watching Ryou gradually stretch and shift. He bit his lip, enjoying the feeling of Ryou's body squirming against his. He felt himself flush and his face growing warmer. The gesture was relatively innocent, but Ryou's movement brushed against him in a way that was most delightful. He bit back a groan, his pants becoming a size too small.

Ryou slowly lifted his head, his eyes still blinking with tiredness. He stared at Kek's chest, confusion etched across his face. Kek laid there quietly, allowing Ryou to put the pieces together. Finally, Ryou glanced up to look at Kek, a light blush on his face. Kek held his breath, his face now centimeters away from Ryou's, his fingers still intertwined in his white hair.

Acting on instinct, Kek leaned forward, pressing his lips against Ryou's. He found little resistance from the albino, who merely groaned lightly in surprise before sinking into the kiss. Kek shifted slightly, his hand in Ryou's hair shifting to Ryou's jaw, allowing him to angle to the kiss. He kissed Ryou's bottom lips, gently massaging the lower lip between his own pair. Ryou sighed, his grip on the front of Kek's shirt tightening.

Kek took his time kissing Ryou, feeling no rush in the process. As this was his first kiss, he took his time to experiment and practice his technique. He prayed his ineptitude wasn't showing, making up for his lack of knowledge by participation. Ryou was equally involved, matching Kek's eager attempts, gently guiding him and wordlessly leading him.

Kek didn't know what it was, but the only word that crossed his mind was 'need.' He needed to kiss Ryou. He needed to touch him and hold him closer. He needed to feel his strange, soft white hair. He needed to see those dark brown eyes, hazy with want and something deeper. Kek wasn't sure what this drive was, but as he kissed Ryou, this instinct grew stronger.

Kek broke away to catch his breath, his lips burning from friction. His own lavender eyes were half-lidded, flicking up towards Ryou's chocolate colored eyes. Before Kek could figure out what to do, Ryou kissed Kek again, even more fervent than before. Kek was caught off guard, his mouth slightly parted as Ryou smashed their lips together, but he was not going to complain at this rate.

Kek felt dizzy and lightheaded, reveling in the sensation of kissing Ryou. His mind set off fireworks as he felt Ryou's tongue brushing his bottom lip. Kek moaned heartily, meeting Ryou as their long, lingering kisses evolved into French kissing. Ryou's hands wandered across his body, Kek's body burning wherever his hands skimmed by. Kek found his own hand wandering back into Ryou's hair, hearing Ryou coo softly at the sensation.

Feeling more confident, Kek let his other hand wander, feeling the slight form resting on him. The two couldn't be more different when it came to their physique. While Kek had muscled up over the years, Ryou was rather slender. While Kek gently rubbed Ryou by his back and waist, he couldn't help but wonder if his skin was as soft as his hair felt. Ryou arched into Kek's touch, causing Ryou to rub against Kek.

Kek found his mind starting to shut down as instinct started to take over. Ryou shifted slightly so that he now straddled Kek. Despite not being able to get up, Kek would have been rather happy to stay in that position for the rest of the day. Perhaps Akefia wasn't wrong after all. Kissing and touching Ryou was doing wonders for Kek's sex drive.  _And yet, it's more than that._

Kek felt his hand tighten as he felt Ryou shift slightly, brushing past his crotch. The contact had been euphoric, as Kek struggled to remained focus. An idea crossed his mind as his tongue lolled around with Ryou's. His hand slipped down to Ryou's hip, almost mindlessly rubbing his hip bone. He thrusted upward, grinding his crotch against Ryou's. The sensation was aphrodisiac, Ryou moaning deeply at the contact.

In that moment, Ryou suddenly jerked back, breathing deeply. Kek was confused, disappointed by the loss of contact as he stared up at Ryou. He struggled to catch his breath, staring up at the rosy complexion. Ryou's eyes were furrowed, leaning back as he rubbed the corner of his mouth. Kek felt his heart still pounding, his straining erection demanding attention, but he forced himself to wait for Ryou to explain.

After a few seconds, Ryou brought his hand up to run through his hair, his eyes averted. Had Kek done something wrong? Ryou seemed to have been enjoying it not too long ago. Kek sat up, carefully shifting to give the two of them space. "Er… sorry. I just wanted to kiss you and just started winging it from there."

Ryou gave a nervous chuckle, shifting out from Kek's lap to stand up. "No, it's alright. I mean, I liked it and it was quite exciting… But I hadn't expected to move so quickly… And also, I'm late."

Kek raised an eyebrow, confused by the late part. "Late… wait, you mean work?"

Ryou nodded, looking down at his clothes as if to inspect them. "Yeah. I have to be there in fifteen."

Kek nodded, standing up, looking bashful. So that's why Ryou stopped. Or at least, that was his excuse. He couldn't help but wonder what might have happened if Ryou didn't have work. Would they have kept going? Kek was nervous to think about it, but he certainly hadn't wanted to stop. Ryou seemed more hesitant to plunge forward.

Either way, it didn't help to think about it now. Ryou had work and Kek had a cold shower to take. Kek scratched the back of his head, glancing away. "So, I'll let you get ready for work. I'll be heading out then."

Ryou nodded, his expression thoughtful. Kek grunted, not much for saying anything more. He stepped away from the couch, heading towards Ryou's door. He felt Ryou grab his hand. He was glad that he was finally getting used to this and was jumping less and less every time Ryou took his hand. Kek looked back, one eyebrow raised.

Ryou didn't say anything, but instead studied Kek's face. Kek said nothing, feeling confused as Ryou took Kek's face in both of his hands, his expression intent. After a moment, Ryou leaned forward, giving Kek a soft, brief kiss. It was not lustful, but rather sweet and gentle. The brief kiss did more to make Kek feel like a gooey and warm inside than anything else.  _The fuck?_

Ryou pulled away, a small smile on his face. Kek realized he was probably staring at him like a fucking moron and forced himself to look away. Ryou just chuckled, the smile growing on his face. "Text me, okay?"

Kek nodded, his hand searching to find the door handle. He felt embarrassed and bashful and he had no idea why. Ryou waved a last goodbye before Kek closed the door, exhaling deeply. Kek placed his head against the door, grinning to himself. Perhaps it seemed like a little progress, but Kek felt like he just ran a marathon. And he felt fantastic about.

_The fuck was that?_

Kek laughed out loud.  _Relationships are fucking weird. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Ryou's tolerable._  Perhaps that's all there was to it. Kek was barely tolerable as was Ryou. Maybe that's why they worked well together. Kek shook his head, walking down the hallway as he tried to make sense of the last few weeks of his life.


	7. Chapter 7

Even though Kek knew Ryou was interested (hell that was the reason why he invited Kek over for dinner), he couldn't work up the nerves to text Ryou again. Their last date had been rather exciting and even overwhelming for Kek. He wasn't entirely sure what would happen next when they met up again.

 _Isn_ _'_ _t that the whole point? That_ _'_ _s the whole reason I started dating Ryou._  Kek reprimanded himself, shaking his head in irritation. Now was not the time to start getting cold feet. He wasn't sure why he was so hesitant – he knew what he wanted and he could tell Ryou wanted it as well. Feeling Ryou's body against his, kissing Ryou until his lips burned with friction had been exhilarating.

Kek worried that it might all end.

Kek was used to life being shitty. He was used to dealing with the terribly dismal and depressing reality of the world. Ryou felt like a dazzling light, shining and radiating beautiful light with a snarky comment on the side. Kek hated that he was growing so close so quickly. He had shoved people away for so long that he had realized how starved he was for companionship. His relationship with Ryou was drastically different from everything he had known.

Kek shifted on his couch, unable to get comfortable. It was pointless. His own anxiety and frustration were consuming him. The closest thing he had to a friend in his life was Akefia, and even that was a stretch. And his family… Kek snorted at the thought. His relationship to his family was a joke. He had never known his mother, which was arguably the healthiest relationship of them. His siblings got a restraining order after their father's death. And their father…

Kek snarled, feeling a familiar wave anger and disgust. He hated thinking about that man. It had been six years since their father's death, and the thought still boiled Kek's blood. It disgusted him how he let that man not only hurt him but also his twin brother. His other siblings did nothing to stop it. Instead, Kek had to deal with the consequences of his senseless violence. He would wear the scars of the physical trauma for the rest of his life.

After their father's death, his family was furious and blamed him for the incident. The court ruled that it had been incidental and that it was their father's drunken behavior that resulted in the fall that took his life. Even with him gone and Kek torn away from his family, he withdrew into himself. In a way, he felt damaged and torn apart. He was exhausted by everything. The thought of anyone else touching him made him recoil.

That's why Kek felt confused by how welcomed Ryou's touch was. Sure kissing was fun as hell, but Kek was more startled how the soft, gentle touches did more to reach him than anything else. Each time Ryou took his hand, he became less of the monster his family made him out to be and more whole in a way he didn't know he desired. Every time Ryou looked at him with those warm eyes, Kek felt less like a broken victim and more like a slowly healing soul.

 _Ryou is turning me soft._  Kek snorted, glaring at the wall. Visiting Ryou made him realize how empty his apartment felt. Sure, he had junk he had collected over the years, but Ryou had made his apartment his own space. It was a safe haven, welcoming and cozy despite how small it was. Kek never wanted to have people over, but after visiting Ryou, perhaps he could consider tidying up and making it more hospitable.

_It probably wouldn_ _'_ _t work, but whatever._

Kek needed a break from his confusing and conflicting thoughts. He glanced at the clock, noticing it was only three in the afternoon.  _Still late enough to go drinking._  If Kek could have vodka in a mug for breakfast, there was no reason why he shouldn't drink now. He grabbed his keys, locking up his apartment as he went out to a nearby pub.

* * *

Kek stepped into the bar, noticing the stench of cigarette smoke as he entered. Despite the midday light streaming in, the pub managed to keep its dingy, dark vibe.  _Ahh. Home sweet home._  Kek thought almost ruefully. As he passed by the few others parked in the pub, he went up to the bar, recognizing the blonde bartender. He ordered a nice, heavy draft, handing over some bills to Keith who pocketed them.

Kek took a long sip, closing his eyes as he reveled in the bitter ambrosia. He didn't place his drink down until a third was gone. He opened his eyes, staring down at the worn wood counters. He heard some American rock band playing over, though it muffled and muted. He flicked his eyes over to glance over at the other patrons, also wearing the same dead expression.

Kek sighed, hunching forward. This was his place of solace – this was home. Ryou made things confusing and difficult to deal with in a way. Being around Ryou was intoxicating and lovely. Even when he was being a snarky asshole, Kek felt more relaxed and comfortable around Ryou than anyone else in his life.

And that terrified him.

Kek knew that good things didn't last in his life. He never knew of any good things to ever stay around long. His life was one tragic event after another. He assumed this cycle would continue until he reached an early death. Ryou was nothing more than a short respite from this. There was no way that he could expect things to continue.

Eventually, Ryou would tire of Kek and see him for what he was. He would realize how dangerous and psychotic he was. He would learn things he wouldn't want to know about Kek and quietly leave Kek's life. Kek didn't want to deal with that. He didn't want to get attached, but he found himself quickly doing so. He hadn't realized how desperately he needed someone like Ryou in his life.

Kek hadn't realized how lonely he had been.

Kek sighed, leaning back slightly from the table. It was Ryou's fault for getting him into this entire mess. It was exhausting dealing with all of these conflicting emotions.  _It figures this kid would be some fucking siren_ , he mused, thinking of the Greek legend. Yes, Ryou had made things complicated, but Kek was the first one to do so. He furrowed his brow as he thought about a question that had been eating away at him.

Why had he confronted Ryou about the phone number?

At the time, Kek justified it by telling himself that he was trying to get a message across. Ryou didn't believe him though. Kek was too livid and short-tempered to have considered any other options. Ryou called him out on his bullshit. Kek had eventually come to the realization that Ryou was right. But that forced him to ask that uncomfortable question.

Ryou had been right when he initially met. If Kek hadn't wanted to see Ryou again, all he had had to do was ignore the phone number and throw away the cup. That would have solved the issue. He simply had to avoid that coffee shop again – no potential dates to pick up that way. He could continue about his miserable, lonely life. He had been rather good at managing it at this point.

Perhaps… he wanted to see Ryou again? Ryou had thought as much. He suspected that Kek was lonely and curious and suggested as much. Kek had brushed off the suggestion as merely stupid. In retrospect, he feared that Ryou had been spot on in his analysis. As stupid as the idea seemed, Kek felt even more ashamed for wanting something as silly as companionship.

Kek sighed, glancing down at his empty glass. He was in the middle of figuring out if he wanted more alcohol (most likely yes) when a familiar voice caught his ear. "Well, well, Mr. Ishtar. Isn't this a pleasant surprise?"

Kek growled, glancing over at the albino to his left. He sighed as he spotted that wicked smirk on his face. "What the fuck are you doing here, Akefia?"

Akefia just snorted, downing his shot glass before placing it on the table in front of him. "It's mid-afternoon during the work week. Where else am I supposed to go to get drunk?"

Kek thought about making some retort towards Akefia, but realized he didn't have any grounds to speak on. He ordered another drink, sensing that he would be around for a while. Akefia smirked, standing up a moment before wandering down the bar to plop down next to Kek.

"I see you had the same idea as myself. Don't tell me your date went horribly." Kek knew that Akefia was just trying to get a rise out of him. And goddamn it, it was working.

"Fuck you. Stay out of my personal life." Kek snarled, taking a long swig of his drink. Akefia just chuckled, shaking his head.

"Hell no. I was the one who told you to go on mission impossible. I want details." Kek snarled in frustration. He had half a mind to just ignore Akefia and drink in peace. But he also knew that Akefia was an impatient fuck who would keep pestering him until he got what he wanted.

_How did I end up surrounding myself with annoying albinos?_

All things considered, Ryou was far less of a pain than Akefia, Kek decided. He saw Akefia smirking at him, still waiting for an answer. Kek knew if he didn't start talking soon, then Akefia would keep badgering him. Kek sighed, staring at his glass to avoid the smirking asshole. "Things are fine. I've started seeing that barista."

"You actually took my advice? Miracles really do happen."

"Are you going to shut the fuck up or not?"

Akefia just shrugged, unrepentant. "So have you been able to blow off some steam yet or not?"

Kek sighed. "Not exactly. We've gone on two dates. I don't know if I want to go on a third one."

"Why? Is he an asshole?"

"Yeah, but that's not the problem. I deal with assholes all the time."

"What is he a prude or something? One of those demisexuals?"

Kek had no idea what the word demisexual meant, but he could deduce Akefia's meaning from his language. "No, it's not that, it's… it's complicated."

Akefia snorted, glancing away. He had a bemused look on his face. "There's nothing complicated about fucking. But then again, it's you, so I imagine you'd struggle with the mechanics of it all."

Kek realized it was easier to just desensitize himself to Akefia's comments than work up the energy to get riled up by him. It would make this conversation easier. Kek sighed, glaring at his glass as if it were the source of his problem. "It's not side… it's other stuff that comes with dating. Emotional stuff. I fucking suck at that."

Akefia didn't make a snarky remark at that, instead taking a sip of the drink the bartender placed in front of him. This surprised Kek, but he wasn't holding his breath that it would last. After Akefia placed his glass down, he stared at the wooden counter. "So it's less of a one-night-stand or more of an actual boyfriend?"

Kek didn't say anything, his thumb rubbing at smudge on the glass. He guessed Ryou would be his boyfriend. They were dating and did stuff and kissed – that's what boyfriends do, right? Kek hadn't thought of it that much in those terms, but now that Akefia put it out in the open… did Kek want a boyfriend?

Akefia downed his beer with surprising efficiency, turning to study Kek. "Worried you're getting in too deep with this kid?"

That was an understatement. "Obviously. I have a habit of hurting people in my life, in case you haven't noticed."

Akefia snorted, a small smile on his face. "Don't I know it. Alister's nose is still busted up pretty good. And if you're family history is anything like mine, I'm going to guess you are far from being on good terms with them."

 _Akefia is too smart for his own damn good._  Kek preferred when Akefia left things unsaid. Akefia knew more than he let out. When Akefia ran his mouth and informed Kek of that, it unsettled him and put him on edge. It reminded him of unpleasant memories that he wasn't eager to bring up.

Akefia took Kek's silence as admission. Akefia turned around in his seat, resting his back up against the bar. He crossed his hands behind his head as he stared out at the mostly empty bar. "Well, since talking out loud to myself has been so gosh darn fun, I'll try my luck with one last question. Do you hate it?"

Kek furrowed his brows, thinking on the question. Did he hate it? After a few moments, Kek finally replied. "No, not really. It's uncomfortable, but… it's not bad, per say."

To his surprise, Akefia just laughed out loud. Kek snapped his head around, bewildered at the cackling albino. Akefia just grinned at Kek, unashamed. "When the fuck are you worried for? I say go for it until it's over."

Kek had no idea what Akefia was getting out. "The fuck?"

Akefia just shrugged, downing the rest of his drink before slamming it down on the counter. "This kid is alright in your book, correct? Not many people can claim that stake. That's pretty much you saying you really like the brat. So why not run with it for the time being?"

Kek raised an eyebrow, surprised by Akefia's encouragement. He figured Akefia would be his usual asshole-ish self and mock him for finding a boyfriend. "That's rich coming from you."

Akefia's smirk didn't change, but instead he propped an elbow against the bar, his sharp glint in his eyes. "I maybe an asshole, but I'm not stupid enough to pass up a good thing. We both know life's shitty. Why not embrace this break in life? Things will get worse eventually anyway so enjoy this little excursion while it's around. You'll break up eventually anyway, so why rush it all?"

Kek snorted. There was the dismal jackass he was used. At the same time, Akefia did have a point. Why worry about what would happen? When will come will come.  _May as well make the most of it for the time being._  In a way, Kek felt a sense of relief, as if he received Akefia's blessing to go enjoy this peculiar good thing that entered his life.

That thought alone suddenly made Kek suspicious.

Kek turned around in his chair, facing Akefia directly. The albino said nothing, though he did raise an eyebrow waiting for Kek's response. Kek wasn't really sure what he was going to interrogate Akefia about, but his guard flared back up. "What's it to you? Why should I listen to you?"

Akefia kept smirking, cracking his neck as he glanced away. "I don't give a fuck whether you listen to me or not. But since you seem inclined to do so, I figured I'd give you some solid advice from my vantage point. No need to be so suspicious over everything."

Kek studied Akefia, trying to figure out if he was hiding something or withholding information. It's not like Akefia had anything to gain from Kek's suffering, but Akefia was also an asshole. So he got off on others people's pain. Kek snapped his head away, his expression angry and frustrated. "Then why I do feel like all of this is a goddamn trap?"

"Nice people are scary by nature. They do stupid things out of kindness. Personally, I call bullshit on it. Everybody wants something these days. I'm guessing that's the trap you're afraid of."

"Then how am I supposed to know what anyone is going to do? Why does everybody have to keep goddamn secrets?"

Akefia just laughed out loud. "Hate to break it to you, but you're not one to talk. Feel like taking a stroll down memory lane and telling me some of your secrets?"

Kek grimaced at the thought, looking away from his albino companion. Akefia took this as his cue to keep talking. "That's what I thought. Look – no point in worrying about something you can't control. People are going to do whatever the hell they want. Why shouldn't you do the same?"

Kek hated it when Akefia made sense. Part of him knew that their logic was flawed somewhere, but Kek didn't have the energy or patience to figure it out. He sighed as he leaned back on his stool. "So I'll keep taking a hiatus then, I guess. Dartz'll be pissed."

Akefia order another round of drinks for the two of them, handing a glass to Kek. "Fuck him anyway. Since when did you care what he thought about you?"

There Akefia went again, making too much sense. Kek smirked, clinking his glass before taking a swig, thought swarming in his mind as he took in his dark atmosphere around him.


	8. Chapter 8

Kek's attempt at not caring too much, at not getting too invested, at not worrying so much about the future went about as successfully as he figured it out. His paranoid, distrustful mindset ate away at him, his thoughts conflicting and confusing. Life was complicated enough before, but now it was an even bigger migraine than ever.

Yet when Ryou called to ask him out for ice cream, Kek was quick to reply.

Kek found that when he was by himself, these worries and anxieties consumed him. Akefia's suggestion to not worry and let things evolve as they would seemed impossible. However, whenever Kek went to meet up with Ryou, all these darker thoughts seemed to just vanish. Even being in public around other people didn't matter so long as he was near Ryou. Kek had barely paid attention to the kids running around them as he held hands with Ryou.

He knew that Akefia was right when he told him this season wouldn't last. Just because things were nice now didn't meant they would last for long. Kek feared that one day Ryou would grow tired of him or reveal his true ulterior motive for asking him out. It was like Akefia told him – good things don't happen to people like them. But since Ryou wanted to spend time with Kek, he wasn't going to say no.

Kek was also aware of his growing affection towards Ryou. Sure, he was good company, but Kek worried by how invested he was in their blooming relationship. They hadn't even come out and said that's what it was, but Kek knew that had to be what this all was. If it wasn't, that made the matter worse. Because it would confirm Kek's fear that his feelings for Ryou were stronger than Ryou's for him.

Kek was in one of these bouts of trying not to panic and freak out when Ryou caught his attention. Kek had been careful to not let on how much he worried and stressed over… whatever they fuck they were. But he felt his guise slipping. Ryou just raised an eyebrow, a dry expression on his face as he looked over the Egyptian. "Everything okay over there?"

Kek brushed aside the question, glaring away at the ground. "I'm fine. Are we done here? It's too damn crowded here."

Ryou stayed quiet a bit longer, glancing around them. "But at least it's not noisy. I'll take it you're not a book fan?"

Kek shrugged, still not meeting his eyes. "I don't mind them. But does everybody have to like the same genre as you?"

Ryou chuckled, glancing back at the shelves. "I can't help my love of horror. I think you'd like Stephen King if you gave it a shot."

Kek shrugged, not disagreeing with Ryou. "Have you found your Edgar Allen Poe?"

Ryou nodded. "Yep. Let me pay for this and we can get rolling."

One trip past the cashier later and the two were outside again. It was their third week "together" (whatever that might mean) and their fourth date. Kek felt anxious, unsure of the end result of it all. He found he didn't care momentarily as Ryou took his hand, the two walking in silence together down the sidewalk.

After a few minutes, Ryou spoke. "Hey Kek, want to do dinner this week?"

"… Sure. There a catch?"

Ryou chuckled, shrugging. "I just wanted to make up that home-cooked meal I promised you last week. I hope that's not a problem."

Kek didn't see any issue with it. He and Ryou grilled out the details before Ryou had to leave for work. Kek said goodbye to the albino as he walked into the coffee shop, leaving Kek to stand outside. Kek stared at the concrete, his mind confused and muddled. He felt like he was floating in a sea of gray, unsure where to go next. He stumbled through these past few weeks in a haze. He had no idea where the end result would be.

_What is this all coming to?_

In any case, Kek knew he had a date in a couple of days, though his mind kept wandering. It was odd how quickly Ryou consumed his life. It was terrifying, all things considered. But Kek was not about to stop seeing Ryou now. He enjoyed Ryou's company for too much, even when he was being a pain in the ass. Surely Ryou felt the same way towards him? It was hard to tell with how reserved and polite Ryou could be, even when he tried to put his guard down around Kek.

Kek shook his head, trying to force away his fears. He glanced around briefly, his eyes catching sight of a bakery in his periphery. He paused in his steps, examining the shop for a few moments. He could see a woman hard at work, kneading some dough. The enticing smells drew Kek towards the shop. He groaned as he felt a stupid idea start to form in his head…

* * *

Even though Ryou told him to be over for dinner at 6, Kek ended up showing up an hour early. He knew Ryou wasn't working and Kek was bored out of his mind. That was the problem with taking a hiatus to just date. Kek sighed as he stood outside of Ryou's door, staring at the apartment number. He hadn't been over to Ryou's apartment since the first time he came over for dinner.

Kek took a deep breath, knocking on the door. He heard some sort of shuffling noise from beyond the door. A few moments later, Ryou flung the door open. Ryou blinked, a light blush growing on his face. "Kek? What are you doing here? I'm still working on dinner."

Kek was distracted for a moment by the fact that Ryou had his hair up in a ponytail. He shook the thought as he shrugged, trying not to look abashed. "I got bored and thought I'd come over sooner."

Ryou stared for a moment, almost as if in disbelief before laughing. "Don't you know it's rude to show up early to a party?"

"…Fucking serious? Why is that rude?"

Ryou just shrugged, stepping back so that Kek could enter the apartment. "Probably because your host is still getting ready for said get-together?"

Kek shrugged, not feeling guilty. He still didn't see how it was rude and frankly, Kek didn't care if he was being rude. Still… "Would this help?" Kek lifted a grocery bag.

Ryou raised an eyebrow, a bemused look on his face. "Is that a gift? For me?"

"… Just open the damn thing."

Ryou chuckled, rolling his eyes as he dug into the grocery bag. "Well I love the wrapping paper. It has a bit of je-ne-sais-quoi to it."

Kek let out a loud sigh, biting back an irritated growl. "Stop being an asshole and open the gift, you ungrateful dick."

Ryou laughed out, a grin growing on his face. He pulled out a bottle of wine and a green box. Ryou examined the wine before sparing a moment to look at the mysterious box. "What's this?"

Kek leaned back against the wall, feeling embarrassed as he let Ryou examine the pastries. "I wanted to get you something, but I don't know what you liked. So the lady at the bakery said cream puffs would be a good idea. So you're welcome."

Kek wasn't sure what to do when he didn't hear Ryou reply.  _Does he not like sweets? Fucking hell, I suck at this._  Kek had started to mentally berate himself in frustration when Ryou suddenly squealed. He turned back, a large grin on his face. He leapt towards Kek, wrapping his arms around the larger male.

It took Kek a moment before he connected the dots. He wrapped an arm around Ryou, smirking lightly. "I'll take it you like cream puffs?"

Ryou nodded, nuzzling into Kek's neck before stepping back to look up at Kek, a large smile still on his face. "They're my favorite!"

Kek felt his heart thudding in his chest, Ryou's happy demeanor making it hard to think straight. Funny how only a couple of weeks ago, Ryou smiling like an idiot pissed him off. Now, he craved those rare, genuine moments where Ryou let down his snarky defenses. Kek glanced away, a small soft smile growing on his face. "Well good. I just wanted to get something special for you. You deserve it."

Kek glanced up to Ryou, whose his expression frozen. Ryou blinked, his smile still on his face, though it faltered for a moment. But Kek caught it, a glimmer in Ryou's eyes, something guarded in his expression. Kek wasn't sure what it was, but it disappointed him to see this look on Ryou. Before he could ask, Ryou's face brightened, a large smile growing again. He leaned in briefly for a quick kiss.

"Well unfortunately for me, I'll have to wait until after dinner to eat these. I don't want to ruin my appetite." Kek wanted to push Ryou and ask what was wrong, but Kek knew he wouldn't get anywhere. He just shrugged, looking disinterested.

"It's your gift. Do whatever the hell you want." Ryou shook his head, placing the pastries and wine on the small table between the kitchen and living room.

"You tell me that and I'll just eat cream puffs for dinner."

"Go for it. Not my problem."

Ryou laughed out loud, returning to the kitchen. "Stop trying to spoil me, Kek."

Kek smirked, watching Ryou retreat back into the kitchen to continue working on dinner. He let out a heavy breath, glancing around the living room as he searched for something to occupy himself. The way that Ryou quietly pushed Kek away ate at his mind. He knew that Ryou was being polite, but he knew Ryou had put up his guard. As if Kek had crossed a line somehow.

 _How did I do that though?_  Kek had just given Ryou a gift – he didn't see why Ryou would close himself off. But then again, this wasn't the first time. While Ryou would stop putting up his well-mannered pretense and show a more relaxed, snarky side, Kek noticed the moments when Ryou would shut him out. Subtle cues of Ryou redirecting him, changing the topic, always holding him at a distance. A thought twisted at Kek's mind.

_Was Ryou scared of him?_

Kek was a loud, aggressive asshole, though Ryou didn't seem to care when they first met. But now that the two were growing closer, it was like Ryou was struggling to keep distance between them. They were friends and they saw each other and they kissed and cuddled. But Ryou had been keeping a careful balance to never let it go too far, physically or emotionally.

While Kek didn't mind them taking their time, he was confused as to why Ryou was more emotionally distant than he was. He always had a guard up, but Ryou had slowly worked past his defenses, as uncomfortable and terrifying as that was. But Kek didn't push away. Akefia told him to run with this and see what happens. Whatever happened next, he would take this part of his journey with Ryou.

And although Ryou could more readily and easily open up to people than Kek, he seemed his shell was more tightly sealed. Ryou was only willing to let people in so far. He was careful, oh so careful, to not let people on to his secret. But Kek noticed it in the subtle body language cues. Cues that he wouldn't have noticed had he not spent the last couple of weeks with Ryou.

Kek sighed, contemplating their awkward relationship as he looked around the room. He examined the various movies and books Ryou had piled onto his shelves, practically crammed to the brim. He remembered Ryou's suggestion that he read some horror novels, noticing the new book Ryou had just gotten this week. He examined the various books, curious about Ryou's collection.

As Kek examined the various novels, that's when he noticed a box stacked on top of the books. He initially thought it was another book, but he realized upon further examination that it was a small box-like chest. He glanced over his shoulder, seeing Ryou still pre-occupied with cooking in the kitchen. Deciding to take a gander, he grabbed the cherry-wood box, scratched and worn from years of wear and tear.

The box was no bigger than a few books stacked. Kek found the latch, popping it lightly before cracking the lid open. He blinked as he saw a stack of photos, looking rather old in age. He let go of the lid, letting it stand on its own as he took the photos into his hand. He furrowed his brow as he studied the small collection of pictures of a much younger Ryou.

Kek blinked as he studied a picture of Ryou, who couldn't have been older than eight. He stood outside at a park, on some trail leading up to the peak. He wore a large grin, his arms wrapped around a little girl with white pigtails.  _That has to be his sister._  Another woman knelt down behind them wearing a soft smile that was so similar to Ryou's that Kek knew that they were related by blood.

Kek studied this little family moment, an odd feeling stirring in him. He flipped through a few more pictures of Ryou with his family, clearly of fond memories he shared with these people. The similarity between him and these two were rather startling. The only difference was the eyes – Ryou had dark brown eyes, like warm, melted chocolate. The two women have bright green eyes, like emeralds.

Kek blinked, sighing softly to himself. He didn't have any fond memories with his family to speak. There were only two pictures that Kek could remember that suggested any sort of genuine affection. One was with his siblings back when he was only toddler. Back then, things hadn't gone completely to shit. Kek hadn't smiled for that picture, but perhaps that's what the made moment feel more real and honest than anything else. His twin brother was grinning like an idiot, Ishizu reprimanding them as Odion simply accepted their fate.

Some things never changed.

The other picture Kek felt a strong attachment growing up was that of their mother. He never had the chance to know their mother. She had died in child labor with him and Marik. Yet even as a child, Kek had loved that picture, if only for that that it was the only memory he had of her. Perhaps it was foolish, but he held onto to the belief that their mother would have been able to fix their broken family.

Kek shook his head, flipping through Ryou's photos.  _A foolish wish indeed._  He knew that even if their mother had been in the picture, there was no saving them from the depravity of their father. She would have been a brief respite from his abuse, but nothing more. Perhaps it was better. Kek had almost gotten through all of the photos when one caught his attention. It was another picture of the family, but this time the picture was torn, removing someone from the picture.

_Is that his father…?_

"Hey, Kek? Everything okay? You've been rather quiet of here… which is concerning." Kek looked up from his investigation to see Ryou coming from the kitchen, wiping his hand on a dish rag. He debated hiding what he was doing, but knew he was probably guilty regardless of what he did. He showed the pictures in his hand.

Ryou blinked, his expression frozen. He lips parts slightly as he tried to gather his thoughts. "Where did… You know, I shouldn't be surprised. You have a way of making trouble for yourself." Ryou didn't sound angry, but he didn't sound happy either. Kek didn't know how proceed, so he just held onto the photos, staring at the top photo.

"… What happened to them?"

Ryou didn't answer immediately, tossing the dishrag onto the couch before stepping forward to see which photo Kek was looking at. He thought for a moment before responding. "We got in a car accident. We were coming back from school like any other day, when suddenly… They both were killed immediately. I somehow survived. I was only twelve"

Kek felt himself tense up, jerking his head towards Ryou. The albino in question avoided his gaze, a rather mournful look on his face. Kek had often mourned his lot, but there was something truly heartbreaking about losing a loving family versus an unloving one. "I'm sorry. That really sucks."

It wasn't much for consolation, but Ryou accepted it gracefully. He just nodded, reaching out his hand to take the pictures. "That it does. I miss them a lot, but I like to think that they're watching over me in a better place… It's better than thinking that they're rotting in the soil with nothing to look forward to."

Kek made a mental note that Ryou could be rather morbid at times, but knew now was not the time to comment on that. Not sure if he should ask, Kek decided to ask a question that was burning on his mind. "What about your old man?"

Kek noticed how Ryou's body tensed at the question, a harsh glint replacing the soft expression on his face. As quickly as the change occurred, Ryou quickly recovered, regaining his cool and distant composure. "… Things afterwards were rough between us. I'd rather not go into details. It's like you said before – my dad's a jackass. Not much else to it."

Kek knew that there was more to it. Ryou was hiding something, but Kek knew he had no right to pry. Not when he had his own secrets he kept. But at the same time, he wanted to pass the invisible barrier that forced the two keep their distance. It was as if they both knew that if they went any further, things would become complicated and their lives would become messy and intertwined.

And although Kek knew that it could be a horrible idea, he wanted to take that risk. He was in for the entire ride. Akefia told him to ride this out for as long as it lasts. Kek wanted to see it all the way through with Ryou and see where they ended up. Whether it was a honeymoon bliss and devastating heartache, he wanted the two of them to figure that one out together.

Yet Ryou wouldn't do it.

Even after Kek told Ryou to let down his and just let himself be himself, Ryou still kept up a final barrier. Even though Ryou was more relaxed, he wasn't any more open. Was it something Kek had done or was there something he could do to change his mind? Should he be more open? Or would that drive him away?

Kek felt his mind turning with these thoughts as Ryou studied the pictures before carefully placing them back in the box. Even though Ryou seemed calm, Kek could see the turmoil swirling in Ryou's eyes. "…You okay?"

Ryou shrugged, a light smile on his face. Kek didn't buy it for a second. Ryou was just pissing him off now. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

Kek groaned, not hiding his irritation. "I'm going to fucking worry, regardless of what you say. I already told you that you didn't have to keep your guard up."

The smile disappeared from Ryou's face, his eyes darkening. He glanced away, his expression hidden away by a curtain of hair. "I know. But everyone has their secrets. Can you blame me for not divulging everything to you immediately?"

Kek growled, but didn't respond. Ryou dismissed his concerns, but he knew that Ryou was holding him at an arm's length away. But the bigger issue wasn't about hurting Kek's pride – it was the fact that Ryou seemed burdened by his secrecy. Kek hated how even now, Ryou insisted on keeping up appearances. Despite letting down his guard some, he refused to commit fully.

 _Perhaps it's just easier for me to be completely honest._  Kek didn't have any qualms discussing any topic with Ryou – he preferred transparency. He and Ryou were like night and day in pretty much every aspect. Of course they would clash.

Ryou noticed how Kek seemed put out. A light smile grew on his face as he put away the wooden chest. "It's not like I asked you to worry, you know."

Kek leaned against the bookcase, glaring at the carpet. He sighed, clenching his fists as he crossed his arms across his chest. "I know. But I'm… never mind." Kek snapped. He didn't how to put it into words. Sure, Ryou didn't ask for him to get involved. But Kek wanted to be there. He wanted Ryou to give his trust the same way that Kek was doing for Ryou. Was that unfair?

Ryou studied Kek a bit longer, the two standing somewhat awkwardly near each other. Though close, Kek felt distant from Ryou. After a few seconds, Ryou shook his head, dismissing the matter. He touched Kek lightly on his arm. "Come on. Let's have some dinner. I have some wine I want us to try."

Despite himself, Kek snorted. "Oh yeah? What kind we talking?"

"Just got a bottle of Chardonnay. A little gift."

"Nice. Must be a damn classy guy."

Ryou chuckled, snapping his head back. "Oh shut up and go eat." Kek let Ryou drag him towards the kitchen, looking forward to a home cooked meal.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemon ahead btws!

In a turn of events that was not surprising in the least, the food was fantastic. Kek couldn't remember the last time he ate a home cooked meal, surviving mostly on take-out and instant ramen. Kek never saw the point of going through the efforts of making a meal just for himself. Despite how irritating Ryou could be, his company made the meal all the better.

The two sat on the couch afterwards, Ryou eager to dive into his cream puffs. Kek wouldn't think of fighting the albino from the pastries. Not knowing what to do, Ryou put on a movie so they could have some white noise. Still on his horror kick, Ryou insisted on showing Kek the classics. So Kek would occasionally glance back and forth between "Psycho" and his boyfriend, focused more on the conversation at hand.

In an effort to learn more about each other, Ryou suggested playing "never have I ever." The rules were simple enough for Kek to follow and it allowed him more insight into the other. Ryou even was generous enough to offer a few off his cream puffs while talking to Kek. He had learned early on that if Ryou didn't want to share, he would make no secret of it. He was rather childish like that. Not that Kek was an example of an upstanding citizen.

"Never have I ever been on a Ferris wheel." Ryou told Kek, glancing over to see if Kek put down a finger. He raised an eyebrow when Kek didn't lose a finger. The only downside to this game was that Kek had a difficult childhood that even the most basic things kids would cover were usually glossed over in his life. He had other issues to consider growing up, unfortunately.

"… Never have I ever been to Europe." Kek stated, grinning as Ryou snapped his head around to glare at him.

"That's cheating."

"How's that cheating?"

"You know I was born an England?"

"Were you? I can't remember every goddamn thing you tell me."

Ryou let out an annoyed sigh, putting his thumb down. "Jesus, you're such a jackass." Kek said nothing, but instead stole another cream puff, a smirk still plastered on his face.

After a few moments of thinking, Ryou turned back to Kek. "Never have I ever… kissed a girl."

Kek scowled, but didn't say anything. When Kek still didn't put down a finger, Ryou leaned back, a confused look on his face. "How sheltered are you?"

"Fuck you. I'm less sheltered than you."

"I'm starting to doubt that." Ryou asked, facing Kek as he turned in his seat. "Hey Kek… did you date anyone before dating me?"

Kek didn't want to have this talk. Not now. Not with that smile on Ryou's face. "Last I checked, it was my turn to ask the questions jackass."

Ryou said nothing, leaning back as he nodded his head. Kek hated that smile on his face.  _Fucking asshole. How did I end up with him?_  Kek sighed as he glanced away, trying to think of something. "… Never have I ever gone to the beach."

Ryou swore as he put down a finger, leaving him with only one digit left. "Seriously? You've never been to the beach?" When Kek shook his head, Ryou flipped his head to stare at the ceiling, shaking his head in disbelief. "The beach is the best! The summer heat, tons of sun, the water – it's fantastic. I freaking love it."

Kek snorted, taking Ryou at his word. "Well then, we'll have to go some day." Ryou glanced over at Kek, an odd expression on his face. The moment passed before Ryou's expression melded into something softer, yet still slightly unsure. He nodded, but didn't say anything.

 _If I didn't know better, I'd say he was being shy._  Kek knew from the past few weeks that Ryou was anything but. What he was was secretive. And as much as that irritated Kek, but he knew that there wasn't much he could do about the situation. At least for now.

Kek shook off these thoughts, glancing back to their movie. "Your turn." He told Ryou, trying to figure out who murdered the woman earlier in the film.

Ryou thought for a few more moments before turning back to the TV. "Never have I ever been camping." Kek thought for a moment before putting down a finger. Ryou raised an eyebrow at this. "Perhaps you're not as hopeless as I thought. Where'd you go camping?'

Kek glanced back at Ryou for a moment before returning his gaze to the TV. "I went about twelve years ago. My brother convinced my father to let him take me and my siblings camping. This was right after we moved to Japan."

Ryou turned back, a rather surprised look on his face. "I didn't know you have had a brother."

Kek paused, not wanting to dive too much into it. "… I have two. And an older sister." Avoiding Ryou's gaze, Kek glared at the TV. He didn't want to talk about his family. Not now. Complicated emotional baggage was not a topic he wanted to cover.

"Three siblings? Are they all older? Some younger? What are they like?" Kek wasn't sure why he obliged in answering, but he continued nonetheless.

"All older. Odion's my eldest brother and he's adopted. Then it's Ishizu and then me and Marik. Marik's my twin brother. Older by ten minutes." Kek felt a rush of conflicting emotions as he thought back on his family. They were always so far away in the recesses of his mind. It was weird bringing up his family while around Ryou who, while one of Kek's closer companions, was still a relative stranger in his life.

 _But wasn't that what I wanted? To get to know him better and dig beneath the surface?_  Kek tried to shrug off his discomfort, but as Ryou got closer to rocky territory, it was hard to commit to that drive. It was somewhat hypocritical of Kek to desire Ryou to be more honest and open when Kek struggled to do the same.

Ryou interrupted Kek from his thoughts. "Huh. I didn't think you were the baby of your family. I was the eldest child growing up. What's it like growing up with that many siblings?"

Despite the well-meaning question, Kek knew he needed to change the topic. Now. He didn't know how to end the conversation, opting to stare at the carpet as he tried to gather his thoughts. A few seconds later, Kek heard Ryou cough. "Sorry. It's your turn."

Kek breathed a silent sigh of relief, trying to ignore the awkward tension between them. He glanced down at his hand before speaking. "Never have I ever given my number to a complete stranger."

Ryou huffed loudly at that, glaring venomously at his Egyptian companion. Kek just shrugged, a smirk growing on his face. "Blame it on yourself. You're the dickwad who decided to do it."

"Doesn't mean you get to throw it back in my face."

"Are you complaining that it worked?"

Ryou chuckled, putting down his last digit and accepting his defeat. "Hardly. For what it's worth, this turned out better than I had anticipated." Ryou pouted slightly before glancing away. "Though losing still sucks."

Kek snorted, observing the sulking albino. "At least you have cream puffs."

Ryou grinned at that, turning back to his box. "That I do." He snatched a cream puff, leaning against Kek as he relaxed at the larger man. Kek rolled his eyes, shifting to get in a more comfortable position, settling in to watch the movie with Ryou as he helped himself to a cream puff.

The two passed the time together, Kek's arm wrapped around Ryou as the two laid on the couch, watching the film. While Kek hadn't seen the twist ending, he wasn't surprised by it either. He was distracted from the movie by a hand holding a cream puff. "Want one?"

Kek leaned forward to try and snatch the treat with his mouth. Unfortunately, Ryou had the same plan to help him, moving the cream puff towards where he thought Kek's mouth was. The result was the cream puff smashing into the corner of Kek's mouth. Ryou sat up slightly, turning to face Kek when he realized what happened. "Oh shit, sorry about that."

Kek just quirked an eyebrow, not really miffed by the situation. He looked at the crumpled cream puff in Ryou's hand. He placed his hand over Ryou's wrist to guide the smooshed treat. An odd urge possessed at the last second, as he decided to lick the cream off of Ryou's finger. Kek watched Ryou, whose breath hitched as his face grew rosy.

Kek released Ryou's digit, his lavender eyes still locked with dark brown ones. Ryou seemed to remember how to breathe, as he glanced down. His eyes flicked up as Kek felt his heart thudding even louder. The look in Ryou's eyes was arousing, as if Ryou was the hunter and Kek the prey. It excited Kek in a new way that he wasn't familiar with.

"You missed a spot." Ryou told him. Kek shook himself of his thoughts, trying to figure out what Ryou was referring to. He realized that Ryou was referring to the cream smudged at the corner of his mouth. Before Kek could think to get it, he felt Ryou gently cradle his head, jerking slightly in confusion. His knee-jerk reaction was quickly shoved aside as Ryou leaned in, licking Kek's lip at the corner before kissing him.

The sensation was euphoric, as Kek felt his breath was stolen away from him. His arms feel weak like jelly as he raised a hand to run his hand through Ryou's soft hair. Ryou continued to kiss him, plucking and pulling at his lips that made Kek's mind shut down. Kek eagerly met Ryou's ministrations, pulling Ryou closer. Ryou shifted up to his knees, moving to straddle Kek, kisses not ceasing.

Kek felt a strange hunger that he couldn't describe. He hungered for Ryou, needed Ryou. Acting more on instinct than anything else, Kek reached to grab at Ryou's ass, pulling him closer. Ryou moaned at the contact, squirming at the sensation.

Kek grinned to himself, continuing to grope as Ryou jerked and mewled with pleasure. Ryou ground his hips against Kek, rubbing their clothed erections together. Kek shuddered, moaning softly himself. He pulled away slightly, his eyes struggling to focus on the hazy dark brown eyes staring at him.

The two struggled to catch their breath, their foreheads pressed against each other. Ryou leaned his lips in his, a smirk on his face. "Bedroom. Now."

_I'm not about to argue that one._

Kek grinned, deciding to take Ryou with him as he stood. Kek grabbed Ryou by his thighs, lifting him up as he carried the albino towards the bedroom door. Ryou yelped, an embarrassed blush replacing his face as he struggled to keep his balance. Kek just chuckled, smirking at the albino. "Nervous, are we?"

Ryou snorted, a rather devious look on his face. The sight made Kek's heart pump faster, leaning forward to steal another kiss. Ryou eagerly met him, his eyes closing as they continued to make out. Kek fumbled around, trying to find the door handle to the bedroom. Their bodies were far too eager for them to worry about things such as dexterity.

Kek finally pushed the door open. He was vaguely aware that this was the first time he saw Ryou's bedroom. He couldn't see much, as Kek forgot to flick on the lights. Frankly, Kek couldn't give any fucks at the moment. Not with Ryou clinging to him as if his life depended on it.

Kek struggled to find the bed when his knees hit the bedframe. Kek hadn't expected it so soon as he tumbled forward, struggling to catch himself so as to not crush Ryou between him and the bed. Kek jerked his head up, worried he might have hurt Ryou. He heard the albino beneath snickering. "Well, someone's eager."

Kek regretted worrying in the first place. "Oh shut up."

"Make me."

Kek couldn't really see Ryou in the dark, but he knew the albino was probably smirking up at him. Kek decided to make good on his words, returning to more important matters. He felt Ryou's hands wander over his body, sending thrilling yet confusing tingles down his spine. Physical contact always astonished Kek, but part of him felt slightly nervous as he felt Ryou's hands getting closer to his scars.

Ryou's lips distracted Kek from his darker thoughts, pulling him away and bringing his attention front and center. In the dim light, he could see Ryou's tousled white hair like a mane. The erotic sight drove Kek to want to touch Ryou more fully, intimately. His hands fumbled for a moment, trying to find the end of Ryou's t-shirt.

It didn't take long for Ryou to figure out what Kek had in mind. Ryou sat up long enough to tear off his t-shirt, before turning his attention to Kek's shirt. Kek resisted for a moment, his mind panicking for a second before he mentally forced himself to calm down. This wasn't like before. Ryou had something completely different mind what with their plans this evening.

Freed from the constraints of their shirts, Kek fell back down, their chest pressed together as Kek's mouth found Ryou's. The warm, soft feel of Ryou's skin thrilled Kek as his hand gently massaged the skin at Ryou's hip. His partner seemed to enjoy that, eagerly thrusting his tongue in Kek's mouth. Kek was quick to meet Ryou, their tongues lolling as they continued kissing.

After a few moments, Kek decided he wanted taste the salt of Ryou's skin, breaking away enough to latch his lips to Ryou's neck. He felt Ryou jerk beneath, sighing softly next to Kek's ear. Feeling bolder, Kek bit lightly where Ryou's neck met his shoulder. He tugged lightly at the skin before gently caressing it with his tongue and lips. The shuddering moan that Ryou let out was euphoric.

Kek found it easier to bury his face in the crook of Ryou's neck, listening to Ryou writhe in pleasure beneath of him. Despite his daring behavior, Kek felt more nervous going forward. This was his first time and he could only hope that Ryou hadn't caught on to how inept he was. He found himself acting more instinct than anything else. Which was odd, since instinct for Kek had been rather primal and violent before.

Kek quirked his brow at the thought, marveling at this new instinct. How odd that this drive was still primal and violent, but it was also gentle and soft. It was different from the more animalistic anger he was familiar with and more passionate and possessive, lust-driven even.

Kek was pulled away from his task as he felt hands grabbing at his belt. He leaned back enough, separating himself from Ryou to remove his pants. He was disappointed at the loss of contact, but knew any further plans for their evening would be put on halt until then. Once he was stripped down, Kek quickly decided that Ryou would need to follow suit.

He jumped back on the bed, his hands going for Ryou's zipper. He heard Ryou give a brief, low chuckle, helping Kek as he wiggled out of his jeans. Freed of the constraints of his pants, Kek was greeted by Ryou's saluting erection. Kek felt himself grow harder at the sight, swallowing hard as he ignored the nervous twinges he felt in his stomach.

Kek looked up back to Ryou's face, his pale face now a delicious tint of cherry red. Kek leaned down to kiss Ryou, their torsos rubbing together. He moaned as Ryou's dick brushed against his own, sending a deeply pleasurable jolt coursing through his body. He could tell by the way Ryou's head snapped back and his heavy breathing that Ryou was lost in the moment as well.

Kek repeated the gesture, bringing the erections together once again as he ground against Ryou. Slowly his nervousness and shyness were quickly lost he was quickly thrown into such wild ecstasy. Their bodies turned and rolled together, sweat beading on their torsos. The alluring heat of Ryou's body against Kek was spine-tingling. Ryou's soft moans beneath him spurred Kek on, as he moved faster, trying to reach what invisible climax lied ahead.

After a few minutes, Ryou turned away slightly, reaching for something in the dresser next to his bed. Kek blinked, not stopping his ministrations as he watched his partner searching blindly for something. A moment later, Ryou turned back, a small tube in his hand. Kek eventually slowed to a halt, tentatively taking the proffered lubricant in hand, not trusting his words.

Kek's early apprehension were easily shoved aside with one look into Ryou's wanting, dark eyes. Kek leaned back, struggling to catch his breath. He popped open the cap, pouring some of the lube into his palm. He watched Ryou shift, spreading his legs wider. The sight made Kek swallowing, his stomach a twisting, turning mess. Kek told himself it was from excitement and not fear of fucking up.

While Kek had never hooked up before, he figured that the schematics of sex shouldn't be too hard to figure out. There wasn't too much to decipher about fucking if masturbation had taught him anything. Still, Kek watched Ryou carefully as he slid a lube-slick finger into Ryou, curiously watching his reaction. Lack of experience be damned, he wanted to know if he was doing it well.

Based on what he had observed so far, he hadn't fucked up yet.

Ryou let out a choked moan, his eyes half-lidded. His breathing increased as he relaxed against the intrusion. Kek pondered the strange feeling of his finger buried within Ryou, as he tentatively experimented with different angles and depths. The tightness and heat were constricting, but over time, he watched as Ryou seemed to get used to it, the discomfort on his face quickly fading. Kek added another digit, watching the process start over again.

By the third finger, Ryou's moans grew louder, his head tossed back. Kek felt his fingers brush up against something inside of Ryou, causing Ryou to cry out, his voice like chimes. "Shit!" Ryou swore. Kek jerked his head up, watching now Ryou's breath grew rapid, his voice a soft whine as if begging for more. Kek was excited by this reaction, brushing that spot against to elicit a similar reaction.

Ryou cried out louder, his usually soft reaction breaking at the touch. "Fuck! Ah!" Kek continued to prep Ryou, always going back to the spot, his heart rate increasing as he watched Ryou's increasingly arousing state. Deciding he couldn't wait any longer, Kek pulled away, withdrawing his fingers. He heard Ryou groaned softly, Kek chuckling at Ryou's momentary disappoint.

Kek poured more lube onto his hand before lathering up his own cock. His heart thudded as he looked down at the panting, moaning albino beneath of him. He shifted closer, moving himself towards Ryou's entrance. He used one hand to guide his cock while the other rested on Ryou's hip, giving him leverage.

After a few tentative pushes, Kek felt Ryou's entrance give way, his cock pushing into the compressing heat of Ryou's body. Kek moaned slightly as he slowly pushed himself further in, the sensation beyond words. He heard Ryou give a strangled gasp, his body arching in slight discomfort. Kek watched Ryou carefully as he slowly inched his way into Ryou, burying himself balls deep into the pale man beneath him.

Kek closed his eyes shut, struggling to catch his breath. The incomprehensible tightness around his girth was euphoric. He fluttered his eyes open to look at Ryou. His eyes were shut for another reason, his face torn between pain and pleasure. Kek leaned forward, an uncharacteristic concern replacing the lust-driven instinct as he gently kissed Ryou on the lips. He kept his eyes on Ryou's face, trying to get a read on his discomfort level.

Feeling somewhat stupid, Kek decided to check with Ryou. "You okay?"

The question surprised Ryou as he opened his eyes. After a moment, Ryou just started to laugh breathlessly. Kek raised an eyebrow, not anticipating this sort of reaction. "What?"

Ryou shook his head, though a small smirk remained on his face. "Oh nothing. Give it time and I'll be back to my usual chipper self." Despite himself, Kek shook his head in exasperation. That's what he got for trying to be considerate.

Any further questions were put on halt as Ryou leaned forward to kiss him. Even though Kek wanted to move, to rush ahead and slam into Ryou until he reached a blinding orgasm, he remained still. He could still see the discomfort furrowed into Ryou's brow. He figured that it was probably normal, but then again, Kek wasn't the best judge on that matter. Deciding to let Ryou to make the decision on this, Kek focused on kissing Ryou.

After what felt like an eternity, though likely was only a few minutes, Kek felt Ryou rock his hips into him. Taking that as his cue to get going, Kek slowly withdrew from Ryou only to press back in. He started slow, his eyes locked on Ryou's face. His albino partner kept his eyes closed, though he seemed to be in less pain than before. Ryou groaned slightly, though the shuddering breath hinted as the pleasure felt.

In a considerable show of self-restraint, Kek continued these slow, gentle thrusts to widen Ryou's passage. His thoughtfulness was eventually rewarded as Ryou's soft grunts of discomfort faded into low moans of pleasure. The sound spurred Kek on, as he gradually began to pick up the pace.

Kek felt Ryou's legs move to wrap around his waist, pulling him closer. Kek wrapped an arm around Ryou's back as Ryou's arms wrapped around to grasp Kek by his shoulder blades. He felt Ryou's fingers digging into his skin, almost animalistic in lust. Kek chuckled softly, glad and somewhat relieved to know that he was doing rather well.

Such thoughts were brushed away as Kek started to lose himself in the moment, his higher brain functions shutting down. It was time to switch to auxiliary mode, as he became lost in the sensation of physical intimacy. After one particular thrust, Kek felt himself brush against something rather familiar. The effect was instantaneous, Ryou screaming out in pleasure. Kek didn't waste a second, pulling out and thrusting back in, trying to catch the same angle.

With Ryou groaning and squirming, Kek saw at Ryou twisted his head, exposing his neck. He settled it, biting and sucking in fervor. He heard Ryou moan his name, which only drove Kek further. His fist clenched the sheets beneath him, his hips continually thrusting into Ryou. They worked themselves into a frenzy, their bodies now glazed with sweat allowed them to move quickly with ease.

Kek could only focus on his thrusts, his mind giving him silent commands of  _harder_  and  _faster_. Each time he slammed back into Ryou, a shiver went coursing down his spine. Kek stared down at Ryou, who was beyond words as he moaned and writhed underneath of him, almost clawing at Kek. He could only think to pump himself faster as he drove them closer to their climax. He tried to kiss Ryou, but they were too caught up in the moment, gasping for breath

Ryou finally seemed to reach his peak, one hand leaving Kek's back to grab at his own weeping erection. Kek watched as Ryou stroked himself, the sight bringing a low groan. Unable to just sit back and watch, Kek brought his own hand, still slick with lube and started to pump Ryou. Almost surprised, Ryou let go, his eyes flicking open, their foreheads pressed together. Kek could only stare into those dark, beautiful brown eyes, Ryou's name but a whisper on his lips.

Finally, Ryou gave a strangled moan, his breath catching. He felt Ryou tense, his body arching into a bow as hips jerked in pleasure. Kek watched as waves of semen stained both of their stomachs. Having sensed Ryou was close to the edge, Kek rushed, pounding faster and harder into Ryou to quickly reach his climax. He felt the walls around his cock tighten, the sight of Ryou limp and exhausted beneath him burning in his mind.

Finally, Kek groaned, his orgasm coming like a blinding fire. His sight blurred, the only sound he could hear was his own pounding heartbeat. He came into Ryou, riding on each wave as his thrusts slowed until they finally came to a halt. Kek struggled to catch his breath, as he felt his body go limp with exhaustion. He collapsed on Ryou, the two of them struggling to catch their breath.

Kek rode out the orgasm, feeling incomprehensibly happy and comfy. He chuckled to himself, his head buzzing in post-orgasmic pleasure. He felt his mind was strangely clear despite how tired he felt. Realizing that he was probably crushing Ryou under his weight, turned over to lay next to Ryou, turning his head to the albino as he still caught his breath.

Ryou's eyes were shut, though fluttered open for a moment as exhaustion seemed to quickly become sleepiness. Kek snorted to himself, unable to help the grin on his face. He forced himself to turn on his side, reaching an arm out to pull Ryou in. Ryou didn't fight back, allowing himself to be pulled towards his companion so that Kek spooned him.

An arm wrapped around Ryou's waist, Kek stared at the white hair in front of him, a sleepiness slowly winning over. As strange as it all was that Kek managed to get to this point, he felt an intense connection to the albino. And not just because of the sex (as fantastic as it was). Kek had closed himself off from people, not letting himself get close to anyone. Yet for some odd reason, he let Ryou in. He put down his emotional and physical guards.

And Kek found that he very much liked Ryou. A lot. Even when he was being a snarky asshole.

Kek buried his face into Ryou's hair, enjoying the after-sex musk. Kek hadn't intended for this to turn into something. Kek had just needed a change, something completely different from the norm. Ryou fit the bill. And even if Kek hadn't meant for it to last, perhaps it was better that it didn't work out that way. Because Kek was convinced falling asleep next to his lover was the best sensation there was.

The thought forced Kek to open his eyes, the thought startling him.  _Lover?_

_No, we're just bed buddies. Friends with benefits. Lovers share an emotional connection._

_But Ryou is my only emotional connection._

…

Kek wasn't sure what that made them, holding Ryou a little tighter to himself. Whatever it may be, Kek put those thoughts aside. There would be time later for him to obsessively worry of the things that may end up pissing him off. For now, reveling in the warmth and companionship of Ryou was more than enough for this moment.


	10. Chapter 10

Despite the sunlight waking Kek from his peaceful sleep, he couldn't muster the energy to be pissed. He was too tired, too sleepy, too comfy, too  _happy_  to waste his time getting angry. Christ, Kek was happy. He couldn't remember the last time thinking that to himself. This whole dating Ryou thing was really fucking bizarre.

Kek snuggled into the warm body next to him, not willing to start the day yet. Kek wasn't aware of how much time had passed upon dozing off. It was only when he realized how much colder the bed had become did he realize that Ryou was not there. Kek jerked away, glancing around as if fully realizing where he was, the odd fuzzy feeling fading as he glanced around.

Kek looked around, Ryou nowhere to be seen. Kek wasn't sure why, but he felt very disappointed by that thought. Frankly, laying in bed with Ryou and avoiding any other form of social contact sounded utterly fantastic to him. It was that or deal with the other assholes in his life. Kek sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed as he found his jeans, crumpled on the floor.

Kek smirked lightly, his mind thinking back to last night. He could only imagine what Akefia might say if he found out that Kek had been a virgin until last night. It was embarrassing enough dealing with these aggravating albinos in his life – the last thing he needed was for Akefia to berate and give him advise on how to proceed. All things considered, Kek thought he did a pretty good job.

But pleasurable memories aside, Kek furrowed his brows. Where was Ryou now?

Kek tossed on his shirt, stretching before stepping out of the bedroom. He was confused when Ryou was not in the living room or the kitchen. In fact, it looked like Ryou wasn't there at all. Did Ryou go out? Why didn't he just wake Kek and kick him out? None of this made sense to Kek as he stared somewhat bewildered at the empty residence.

It took Kek a few more minutes of searching before he spotted the notebook laying on the kitchen counter. He glanced, realizing that Ryou left a note for him.

" _Kek – I had to run to work. Sorry I had to leave early. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge if you haven't already. I'm working a double-shift so I won't be back for a while. Be a dear and try not to destroy my apartment."_

Kek continued to marvel at how Ryou could still be a sarcastic son of a bitch even when he wasn't here. It was like an on switch he couldn't find. Sighing, Kek decided he would at least have some breakfast before leaving. He didn't want to hide out in Ryou's apartment all day like he was some pet. The sooner he got back, the better.

But first, Kek wanted to have some leftovers from dinner the previous night.

* * *

After Kek went home, he figured he would spend the rest of the day there. It wasn't until he got hungry and stared at his fridge that he felt annoyed. Having dinner with Ryou reminded Kek why there was nothing like a good home cooked meal. Kek hadn't realized how sick he was of take-out.

It was at that point that Kek decided he wanted to learn how to cook.

Kek threw on his coat and wandered around until he found a grocery store. He didn't know what he wanted to cook. He didn't even know how to cook. But prior knowledge be damned, Kek would teach himself. He had his own kitchen that did nothing but collect dust. Why shouldn't he use it? How hard could it be?

Kek walked around, not really sure what he was looking for. This was a stupid idea, but Kek was already at the store, so he couldn't leave now. He wandered under he noticed a cooking magazine down one aisle. Why a grocery store would have a magazine section was beyond him, but he wasn't about to complain. He opened it, reading a few pages as he searched for a recipe. Anything that sounded edible was a good start.

After a few minutes of scanning pages, Kek spotted a simple recipe on how to make spring rolls. It didn't seem too hard. All he had to do was wrap the prepared ingredients in rice paper wrappers. How hard could it be? His meal decided, Kek set out to collect the ingredients. He piled them into his cart, grabbing additional items that caught his eye. He was sort of winging it at this point, adding to the trend in his life.

Kek was just turning the corner when he spotted the long, golden hair. He froze on the spot, jerking back, groaning internally.  _Of all the shitty luck in the world_. Kek sighed, deciding to peak out from around the corner. Sure enough, there he spotted a young man with dark tan skin and golden hair talking to an older, bald man. Kek knew those people. He knew them far too well.

Kek leaned against the shelf, staring at Marik and Odion, who were also out grabbing groceries. Kek figured this would happen to him. His luck had been far too good to be true recently – the karmic universe had to punish him somehow. Still, Kek wasn't going to cower away because his fucking siblings were here. He had every right to be here just as they did.

Kek took a deep breath, stepping away from his corner. He walked down the aisle, eyes focusing on the seasoning in question. Perhaps if he didn't make eye contact, they wouldn't notice. Kek stuck the item into his basket, deciding to steal a glance in their direction. His eyes froze when he saw Odion staring at him. Kek didn't make a move, feeling like a mouse having been spotted by a hawk.

Odion said nothing, watching for another moment before turning away. He and Marik left the aisle, his twin brother completely unaware of Kek's presence. Left alone in the aisle, Kek felt himself fume at the treatment. He almost preferred being yelled at by Ishizu. Odion acted as if he saw nothing when he looked at Kek. As if he wasn't worth the energy getting angry over.

Kek boiled his blood to be treated as if he didn't matter to him anymore. After everything Kek had suffered, they should have cared a little. Kek wasn't sure why he wanted this, but being ignored and treated as if he was a stranger was more aggravating than being recognized for the outcast brother he was. Disgust and loathing was something that Kek had been used to by this point. Nothingness was far worse.

Kek growled, turning sharply as he decided to finish up his shopping trip. This turned out to be a bigger headache than he wanted. He just wanted to get home and start cooking because fucking hell was he hungry. Kek tightened his coat as he left the store, not looking back. He didn't want to risk spotting them while leaving the store. Odion had made it his thoughts towards Kek quite clear when he gave him the cold shoulder.

Kek gritted his teeth, trying to brush away his anger. It angered him how easily riled up he was over the run-in. It shouldn't matter to him. It clearly didn't matter to his eldest brother. The one who was supposed to protect him and watch over him. He seemed quite okay with playing that role for Marik, but not Kek. Never Kek. Kek didn't belong. The image of their backs as they walked away made that much clear.

That thought caused Kek to pause, but for a completely unrelated reason. He stopped in his tracks, standing on the sidewalk. He raised a hand tentatively to brush the base of his neck, feeling the faint edges of his scars. Ever since that fateful date over a decade ago, Kek wore the wounds across his back. His punishment for trying to protect his twin brother. Ever since then, Kek never let anyone touch him on his scars.

That was, until last night.

Kek had completely forgotten until now that Ryou felt his scars. He had been too lost in the moment, in the feel and pure ecstasy of being close to Ryou that he forgot his brokenness. Ryou's fingers had dug into his back, crying out his pleasure, his fingers wandered over the varied texture of his back. And not once had Kek noticed. The thought now caused many conflicting emotions in the Egyptian man.

Kek sighed, walking again as he pondered these thoughts. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism that forced Kek to be so aggressive. He tried to ward off new people, reluctant to let them in. He figured if he shoved away first, then he couldn't get hurt. But avoiding pain didn't mean healing old wounds. Kek still bore the scars of that incident so many nights ago, still broken by his old man.

Strangely enough, his time with Ryou has done more for Kek than six years living on his own. Kek was always so trapped in his mind, lost in his anger and bitterness. It was easy to deflect his own problems by stating it's because of the world he lived in. The world was awful, so he could be awful back. There was no reason to risk vulnerability for the chance of a happier life.

Yet Ryou made him smile.

Kek furrowed his brow, entering his apartment complex as the anger and confusion in his mind seemed to dissipate. It always came back to Ryou. He had that effect on the typically sullen Egyptian. For whatever reason, Ryou made Kek happy, even when he was intentionally trying to piss him off. Being around Ryou made Kek desire to feel less agitated. When he was around Ryou, he could let down his guard.

Because despite Ryou's sarcastic defense and careful deflection, Kek knew that Ryou was familiar with scars as well.

The thought of finding a kindred spirit in Ryou made Kek realize how much he desired to be with Ryou. He wasn't familiar with such strong feelings. He hadn't even realized he could feel such strong positive emotions towards another person. Despite this, Kek could only hope that Ryou felt the same towards him. It was difficult to get a read on that albino.

_Well, perhaps it's a long shot, but maybe I can win him over with my cooking. Okay. Let's fucking do this._

* * *

After Kek made spring rolls (of which, only about three were edible), he decided to text Ryou to see how he was doing. He figured he was still working since he mentioned a double-shift, so perhaps when he got a break, he could check his phone for any texts. Kek ate his first meal that he prepared, which while wasn't nearly as good as Ryou's cooking, but pretty decent by Kek's standards.

Kek hadn't intended on becoming a homemaker as he spent the following hours after dinner organizing his pantry to accommodate his recent purchases. Upon examining the magazine he bought for more recipes, Kek quickly realized he would need to buy a lot more to cover the basics. His kitchen was rather sparse and lacking in many areas.

Kek was writing down a list of stuff to pick up at the store tomorrow when he heard his phone ring. He perked up, eager to hear from Ryou. He answered the phone, feeling a bit daring and, dare he say it, flirty. "Hey. Miss me already?"

A low baritone voice chuckling on the other end quickly informed Kek that this was not Ryou. "Hate to disappoint you, but I think you're mistaking me for someone else."

Kek swore, his mood soured instantly. "Damn it. The fuck you want, Akefia?"

"Well, I'm a messenger boy duty today. Which is a shame, because frankly, I am more interested in the juicy gossip that is your life."

"Fuck off you jackass. I'm hanging up."

"I wouldn't recommend that."

Kek rolled his eyes, his short temper flaring up again. "And why not?"

He heard Akefia clicking his tongue in disappoint. "Didn't you listen to anything I said? I'm a messenger boy. I have a message."

It took only a few moments for Kek to realize what Akefia is getting at. "What does Dartz want?"

"He said to get your ass down here or we're hunting you down. He's tired of you bailing."

 _Of all the fucking reasons._  "He doesn't give a shit if I come back. He's just trying to show he's in control of his little group."

"Probably. Doesn't matter to me either way. So do I tell him that you said fuck off or are you meeting up?"

Kek let out a loud sigh. Part of him wanted to punch Dartz in the face and tell him to suck his dick. But Kek didn't have a stable career. If he was going to maintain a boyfriend and pay for this cooking habit of his, he would need cash to do so. "Fine. I'll be there. But if any of those idiots piss me off, I'm not paying for the funeral bill."

"Me neither. Well, I guess I'll see you down here. I'll deliver the good news to Dartz. He'll be ecstatic to hear you're coming."

"Fucking fantastic." Kek muttered, hanging up the phone to end the conversation. What was once a hobby to Kek so that he had something to do during the weeks and to get cash was now becoming more of an annoyance. Which was frustrating because the whole reason he started hanging out with those guys was because Kek couldn't deal with regular folk. Dating Ryou really muddied that water up.  _The reoccurring trending in my life._

Regardless, Kek didn't feel like thinking too hard about it. Whether he liked it or not, he was going out tonight. It was best to just be prepared than mope about his situation. Kek sighed, shoving his phone in his pocket as he grabbed his keys, heading out for the night.

* * *

Kek spotted the gang before they saw him. He saw Akefia standing off from the group, checking something on his phone. Alister, Valon and Rafael were standing not too far from Dartz, chuckling at some joke that Valon was making. Kek raised an eyebrow, noticing two new bodies there that he hadn't seen before. It looked Dartz had been busy since he'd been gone.

"Kek! So wonderful of you to join us." Kek rolled his eyes, glaring at Dartz. By the disdainful tone and look on his face, Kek didn't really believe Dartz was all too happy to see Kek. But, much like Akefia and himself, Dartz wanted control. Flexing his power was necessary from time to time.

It didn't mean Kek had to like it though.

"Let's get this fucking over with. The less time I have to spend talking to you fuckers, the better." Kek snarled, looking around as if eager to get on the move. The sooner they made bank, the sooner Kek could go home.

Dartz shook his head, walking over to their newest members. "Not so fast, Kek. We haven't made proper introductions. Please say 'hello' to Rex and Weevil."

Kek took one good glance at the two and quickly decided he didn't like either men. There was a nasty look on both of their faces and he could tell that most likely shared the same brain. Just another pair of mindless cronies to fall into line and kiss Dartz's ass. "Hello. Now let's fucking move."

Kek noticed the angry flash in Dartz's eyes, annoyed by Kek's lack of deference and attitude. Before Dartz could try reprimanding him, Akefia spoke up from his corner, walking down the alleyway. "I'm with Kek. Let's fucking go already. These morons aren't going to mug themselves."

Dartz bristled slightly before composing himself. He smirked, shrugged as he herded the rest of the crew after Akefia. Kek said nothing, his eyes focused on the back of Akefia's head. The three of them had been butting heads more and more lately. He wondered how long it would be before things finally reached a boiling point.

Kek followed the group off to the side, letting Rafael take the lead as he led them towards a district they didn't frequent as much. There were a couple of bars in the area, but for the most part, it was fairly quiet most nights. Kek had been mulling this over when he noticed Akefia fall in line next to him. He rolled his eyes, knowing what to anticipate. "What do you want, jackass?"

Akefia grinned like the Cheshire cat, a knowing look on his face. "You know damn well what I want. How're things going with that barista of yours?"

Kek growled, debating whether it was worth fighting Akefia over this. Still, he couldn't be too upset. Last night still rang fresh in his mind. "Things… are going well. Very well."

Akefia chuckled, his smirk widening. "And I'll take it by the smile on your face that you finally got laid?"

Kek blushed, not realizing he was smiling like an idiot. He scoffed, glaring at Akefia who only laughed more. "Fuck you."

"You're welcome by the way. I will admit, you are remarkably less high-strung than usual. Well, outside of dealing with Dartz, but he fucking deserves it. Still, my plan worked out pretty good."

"Shut up." Kek grumbled, walking faster. Yep. Akefia truly was a giant pain in the ass. It was best to leave things now before Akefia started to snoop even more into his busines-

"So have you broken up with him yet? Or are you just going to ice him out until he gets the message?"

Kek stopped, snapping his head around to glare at Akefia. This question pissed of Kek more than Akefia probably realized. "No! I-… I haven't… I don't know…" Kek kept stumbling over his words so he decided silence was a better approach.

Akefia noticed how flustered Kek had become. He raised an eyebrow, stalking his way towards the tense Egyptian. "Oh? Are you saying you don't want to break up with him? That you  _like_  him?"

Kek gritted his teeth as he heard Akefia start laughing out loud.  _He even laughs like a jackass. Figures._ "Fuck off. That's not what I'm saying."

Akefia just passed Kek, leering at the scowling man. "You sure? Because it certainly sounds like you're becoming soft. Such a shame. Who would have thought you'd be tame by some bitch? Certainly not me."

 _Why does Akefia have to make everything so difficult?_  Kek pushed past Akefia to catch up with the rest of group. He found this somewhat ironic since he typically found the rest of their posse more annoying as a whole than Akefia. But desperate times called for desperate measures. "I'm fucking done with you. Come talk to me when you're done being a jackass."

Kek didn't hear Akefia reply back, so he figured the conversation was done. He also knew he shouldn't have thought that because Akefia could never let a goddamn issue go. "Do you honestly think he likes you?"

Kek tried to tune out Akefia, but that question made him pause. "… What?"

"Your boyfriend. If that's what we're calling him. Do you think he actually likes you?"

Kek furrowed his brow, turning back around to face Akefia. He didn't like the smirk on his face. He was so damn hard to read. "What are trying to get at?"

Akefia shrugged, taking a few steps. "Well, I'm just thinking back to how this started. The whole reason you went out with him to begin with was to get laid. And now you're getting all mushy and attached. But have you ever wonder if your date was trying to use you too?"

Kek knew he shouldn't listen to Akefia. He should just ignore him and just focus on being a bully tonight. Still, the question touched on one of Kek's fears. Ryou was always so closed off and polite, but Kek had no idea Ryou's feelings regarding Kek. He was so guarded and careful, it did raise the question of whether Ryou reciprocated Kek's feelings in full.

Akefia had hit it right on the mark. But Kek couldn't give him the satisfaction of letting him know that Akefia had struck a bit too close to home. "You're a fucking moron. Piss off."

"Really? I'm not the one becoming a lovesick puppy because someone figured out how his dick works. Trust me – I know when lust is talking. You don't like him anymore than he likes you for your oh-so-likable personality."

"Shut up!" Kek snapped, his temper flaring. Akefia was just being a jackass and trying to rile him up. He was just saying this shit to piss him off. And goddamnit it was working. Akefia just raised an eyebrow, waiting to see where Kek intended on doing next.  _Damn it, I hate it when he's fucking prick._

Kek sighed, leaning back against a brick building. He was aware of the voice ahead letting him know how far their entourage hadn't gotten. He shoved his hands in his pockets, not looking at Akefia, instead opting to glare at the ground. "It's not… Ryou isn't like that… he's-" Kek decided to stop talking to Akefia. He wouldn't let the albino goad him on. He didn't have to justify himself.

Akefia didn't need to know how right he was.

He didn't look up, but he heard Akefia chuckle, almost amused. "Sorry I have to be the one to remind you, but don't forget what kind of world we live in. It was a good ride while it lasted, but quit while you're ahead. Stop being a child and start acting like an adult. You know how things going. Let this go on too long and you'll get hurt. Wouldn't want any more scars."

Kek flinched at the last word. There was no way Akefia knew about his back, but then again, Akefia kept many secrets. There was no telling what was going in that albino's head. Kek refused to respond, the silence growing heavy between him. After a few moments, Akefia laughed out loud before stepping away. Kek looked up, baffled as he saw Akefia leaving.

"Where are you going, asshole?" Akefia just turned back slightly, a small smirk on his face.

"Taking a break. I'd been hoping with you back, I'd finally get a break from stupid idiots. But apparently you're just as weak and gullible as the rest of them." Kek bristled at the comparison to the rest of Dartz's entourage. He didn't want to get back into this fight with Akefia. Kek knew a losing battle when he saw it.

"So what? You're gonna pussy out?"

Akefia grinned, his expression almost devilish. "Call it what you want. I'm taking the night off. There's a couple of things I want to take care of. Besides, who am I to deny you the chance to bond with Dartz and his friends?"

Kek snarled under his breath. So this was what it was. Akefia was handing off babysitting duties to him.  _Remind me why I hang out with this dickwad?_  "Fuck you, Akefia."

Akefia chuckled, walking away as he waved his hand in farewell. "Have fun."

Kek watched Akefia's retreating form, his own frustration building. Today had been a rather rude reminder of how much life sucked. He felt dejected at how quickly he had been pulled away from cloud nine. Last night had been phenomenal – today reminded him why living sucked. Why his life sucked. And how it would also suck. A perpetual cycle of suck.

_Things can't get better. Can they?_

Kek knew it was childish to hold on. Akefia's words rang through his head, scolding him for desperately placing his hope in Ryou.


	11. Chapter 11

Kek tried not to dwell on Akefia's words the following day, though with little success. He had never been good at pushing away any problem on his mind. It always ate away at him until he finally snapped. The thing about this issue was that Kek didn't know what would be his breaking point.

Kek tried to ignore his growing doubts and fears. He wanted to be practical, as much as it would make him into a realist/pessimist. Yet some stupid part of his brain, or as Akefia called it, his "childish" part of him wanted to believe that things wouldn't turn out as awful as they always did. That this time would be different. That he and Ryou were different.

This hope fell flat when Ryou ignored Kek's text.

Kek thought it was a one-off thing until he sent a few more, asking how Ryou was doing and checking to see if he wanted to hang out. A few days later, Kek tried calling Ryou, only to go directly to Ryou's voicemail. A week after they had slept together and Kek was no closer in getting into contact with Ryou.

Kek's initial reaction was anger. He was angry with Ryou, the world he lived in, but more than that, he was angry with himself. It was his own fault for fooling himself into believing that his life could be any different than it always was. He'd been acting like a love-struck teenager, eagerly rushing in with no sense of what was really going on. He hadn't paid attention to the fact that Ryou wasn't into him as much as Kek was into Ryou.

Kek growled as he paced around his apartment, riding out this wave of frustration.  _Fucking moronic. Ryou's an asshole. I knew that. But I still wanted to date him. And for what? So I would get way too emotionally attached? Fucking figures. This is what I get for doing something stupid like wanting to fucking connect with people. Me. Connecting. The fuck was I thinking?_

Kek continued to mentally berate himself, his anger a better outlet for the other emotions swimming in his mind. The crushing disappointment, the mortifying embarrassment, the stinging betrayal, but more than any of that, the desperate loneliness. Kek was used to being alone. He hadn't realized how much he didn't like being alone until Ryou entered his life. Ryou made him realize that any company, good or bad, was better than crippling loneliness.

But now that Ryou's gone…

Kek couldn't take his depressing thoughts. He grabbed his coat, deciding to leave the apartment. He felt trapped. He needed to escape somewhere, anywhere that wasn't the recesses of his mind. Kek stormed down the stairs, brushing past the other residents as he rushed to get outside, feeling almost claustrophobic in the small apartment complex.

Kek didn't pay attention to where he wandered, his body moving on its own as he tried to force his mind into a blank. It was unseasonably warm for February. It was one of those days that fooled you into thinking that spring was finally here only to get bitingly cold again before the true thaw arrived. Kek unzipped his jacket, not feeling the desire to carry around his jacket, but still too warm to leave it zipped up.

Kek, not wanting to run into large crowds, decided that the park was a safe bet. Though he knew people would be out, he could find space away from people so that he wouldn't feel enclosed. Now that he was an open space, Kek slowed down a bit, feeling less rushed and becoming more aimless in his travels. He had no direction in particular aside from "not standing still."

Kek glanced around, observing the various people outside without any particular interest. He noticed some college students playing Frisbee. A couple walking their dogs. Kids playing on the playground. The warm weather had seemed to have drawn out many people from their homes outside. Kek decided to focus on his surroundings, finding it to be a good distraction from his thoughts. His feelings. Ryou.

No sooner had he thought that, Kek spotted the familiar, long white hair.

Kek snapped his head back around, almost stunned. Despite his disbelief, his eyes hadn't been playing tricks on him. Sure enough, there was the albino responsible for his troubling thoughts. He wore a light jacket, walking slowly as he wandered down the sidewalk. His eyes were focused downward, avoiding all eye contact as he seemed lost in thought.

It took Kek only a moment before he forced himself to move. He pushed past people, rushing to catch up with Ryou on the other side of the park. He ran through the grass, calling out Ryou's name. His white-haired target, glanced up, almost confused, as if wondering if he had heard something before looking back down.

Kek was not deterred, closing the gap between them. "RYOU!" Kek yelled, now glaring at the back of the albino's head. Ryou started at the noise, stopping in his tracks as he turned around, a surprised look on his face. He seemed speechless, studying the breathless Egyptian slowing to a halt.

"… Kek?"

Kek gasped for air, glaring at Ryou's face. His previous self-berating thoughts were now put to a new channel, his anger flaring up at the albino in front of him. "Why the fuck haven't you been answering your phone? I've been trying to get in touch with you all week!"

Ryou opened his mouth, a confused look on his face. He caught himself, his surprise quickly masked away as his expression became indifferent. He glanced away, shrugging slightly. "Sorry. I haven't been on my phone recently."

Even Kek could smell the bullshit from where he was standing. "Don't fucking lie to me. You've been ignoring me all week! The fuck is going on?"

Ryou looked uncomfortable, still not meeting Kek's eyes. He sighed, eyes closing in the process. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Stop  _lying_  to me!" Kek snapped, trying to lower his volume and failing. Ryou jumped, his expression guarded. Kek noticed the way that Ryou raised his arms slightly, almost defensive. Like he was frightened by Kek. Despite his anger, Kek didn't want Ryou scared of him. He wanted some goddamn answers. He focused on his breathing, glaring at Ryou as he waited for an explanation.

Ryou observed Kek for a moment, an odd look in his eyes. He crossed his arms as he turned to watch the ongoing Frisbee game. "I've been busy. It's been hard keeping up."

"Ryou." Kek stated, trying to keep his temper in check. Blowing up and yelling at Ryou wouldn't get him anywhere. Like his older sister used to tell him when he was younger, he needed to use his words. As difficult as that may be. "You're avoiding me. Why?"

Ryou didn't respond, his expression rather stony. He continued to look away, avoiding eye contact as he people watched. After a few painfully long seconds, Ryou let out a huff. "Well, because I figured we were over. It was fun, but I figured we would start seeing other people."

Kek tried not to react, hoping that he only imagined that he had flinched. Part of him didn't believe what Ryou had just said. He had to have only thought he heard Ryou dismiss. Reality wasn't this awful. "… You're… breaking up with?"

Kek hated the sound of his words. He hated how weak and pathetic he sounded. Ryou just raised an eyebrow, rather detached from the whole scenario. "I thought that's what you wanted. The whole reason you asked me out was to hook up, right? That's the impression I got from you."

Kek shook his head, his body trembling not from anger, but from an ache in his chest. This wasn't like him at all. He was strong, indifferent and dark. Yet Ryou's rejection stung. It hurt. It hurt in a way that Kek didn't know could hurt. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to open his eyes, it hurt to be near Ryou.

Kek took a deep breath, opening his eyes to stare at Ryou. He wore a rather bemused expression, his eyebrows furrowed as he observed Kek's odd behavior. "Something wrong?"

The blasé attitude finally snapped Kek back to the scenario at hand. "Yes! Something's wrong! I thought that you were- that this was…  _What was the fucking point of all of this?_ " Kek needed to know how this happened. Had this been Ryou's goal from the beginning and Kek never realized it? Or did Ryou lose interest and decide to break it off now? How did this shit show start?

"You were the one to admit it. You were in it for the sex. I thought we were on the same page." Ryou leaned back, his eyes narrowing. Kek realized he probably looked manic and deranged – he certainly felt that way. He let out a frustrated groan, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes- I mean, I was. But I thought- you said… what about earlier when you were talking about taking it slow and letting things go at their own pace? I thought you -" Kek cut himself out, turning head away to glare at the ground. He didn't want to complete the sentence. He didn't want to be shut down and learn the truth.

Ryou blinked, shifting slightly as he glanced away. "… Things change. Is that so bad? We're quite different people. It's only to be expected. No hard feelings."

Kek laughed dryly, shaking his head. Things changed indeed. So that's what it was. As Kek had grown closer and more willing to commit with Ryou over their time spent together. However, Ryou realized he didn't like Kek like that. How could he? Kek was an asshole. Sure, Ryou claimed to have dated some awful people in the past, but this was  _Kek_  we were talking about. He was a pretty damn awful jackass.

_Akefia was right._

Kek had really hoped that Akefia was pulling his regular bullshit, just trying to prey on other people's insecurities. He was a jackass like that. But Akefia was also smart and aware of how the world function. He knew that this would happen. He knew that Ryou's initial attraction towards Kek would fade as he realized what kind of person he was dealing with. He warned Kek to just have fun with it and  _not_  to get too attached.

And of course Kek didn't listen. He stared at Ryou, who glanced down at his phone to check the time. The gesture frustrated Kek as he stepped away, pacing around as he tried to calm down. This was his fault. He felt like a fucking moron. But it wasn't completely his fault. Ryou had led him on. They two had gotten close only for Ryou to start icing him out.

"I can't believe this." Kek muttered to himself as he slowed to a halt. Ryou overheard him, cocking his head lightly in confusion.

"Kek, relax. It's just a break up. We can still be friends." Kek shook his head, wrapping his arms around his torso. He turned slightly to see Ryou in her periphery. He felt like he was going to throw up.  _Fuck, I'm being pathetic._

"That's not it!" Kek snapped, glaring angrily at the ground.

Ryou sighed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "Then what is this about?"

Kek growled, shaking his head in frustration. He didn't want to talk, but the words came out before he could stop them. "I let myself care about you! I didn't think I could ever like anybody because I fucking hate people! And even though you piss me off all the time, I like you! I want to spend time with you and watch movie and try one of those stupid truth-or-dare challenges and hug you and just be with you! Because I don't feel angry when I'm with you! I feel ridiculously happy!"

Kek closed his eyes, running a hand up through his hair. He couldn't look at Ryou, his breath now shaky. "But that was a fucking dumb thing to do. Because you don't like me like that. And I knew that! I knew you wouldn't! But I still let myself fall for you! And it's mushy and ridiculous and stupid to think that you, let alone anyone, could have genuine feelings for me! Because I fucking suck at dealing with people! So I don't know why I thought things would be different this time!"

Kek struggled to catch his breath, his entire body trembling. He didn't know why, but he felt tired and vulnerable. It had been years since Kek ever tried to open up to anyone and all of sudden, he was vomiting up his feelings uncontrollably.  _All because of Ryou. Damn that beautiful man._  Kek had no idea how Ryou reacted to his declaration. Probably running in the opposition direction if he was smart.

After a few long seconds, Kek decided to open his eyes. His lavender eyes fluttered open, noticing that Ryou had not gone running for the hills just yet. He stood there, his face blank with shock. Kek looked away, trying to make his voice sound gruffer than he felt. "Well? Say something, damn it!"

Ryou realized he was staring at Kek, blinking. That's when Kek saw it, the reserved disposition slipping from Ryou's face. Kek watched a soft, apprehensive look replaced Ryou's poker face. "… I- I didn't know that's how you felt towards me. I.. I figured you wanted to move on. That you will. Just because you're interested now doesn't mean the feeling will last…"

Kek shook his head as he stared at the ground, denying Ryou's notion. "I couldn't even if I wanted to. You're the only good thing I have in my life. I… I don't have anyone else." Kek lowered his head, his heart pounding. He was completely head over heels for Ryou. Kek couldn't understand how he had much a such a huge, fucking mistake.

Kek was broken from self-wallowing thoughts by a touch. He nearly jerked away as he felt something touch his face. He opened his eyes, surprised to see Ryou so close. He gently caressed Kek's cheek, a soft, thoughtful look on his face. Kek sighed, leaning into Ryou's hand, feeling his scar brush against his skin. The gesture was so unexpected that it caught Kek off guard, making him so vulnerable and exposed.

Ryou lowered his hand after a moment, his gaze following his hand. Kek sighed, suspecting what was coming next. Ryou was going break this off. Make it quick and clean. Then Kek would be alone again. Only this time, he didn't want to be.

Ryou sighed, glancing away, a sad look on his face. "I'm sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression."

Kek raised an eyebrow, but didn't get his hopes up. "Unless this is suddenly you not breaking up with me, I think I know what's going on."

Ryou shook his head, glancing away. "No, not that, it's… I… I like you a lot too. More than I expected. You're rough around the edges, but the past few weeks we've spent together is the happiest I've been in a long time."

Kek furrowed his brow, not understanding. Ryou liked him? "Then why the fuck do you want to break up?"

Ryou bit his lip, averting his eyes. After a moment, his shoulders sagged. "… Because I got scared."

Kek blinked before he sighed, glancing away.  _He's scared. No fucking duh._  "… I didn't mean to… You know you don't have to be scared of me. I would never hurt you or anyth-"

Ryou snapped his head back up, shaking it. His darkened expression quickly disappeared as he realized what Kek was thinking. "No no! Nothing like that! You're an asshole, not frightening."

Despite their relationship in peril, Kek snorted at that remark, the corner of his mouth twisting lightly into a small smile. His immediate worry was gone, though he remained concern as to what was going on. "So… what is it then?"

Ryou looked down at his hands, tracing the scar on his left hand. A sad look crossed his face. "… I ran into my ex."

It took Kek a moment, turning his head in confusion. "Your ex? Uh… You mean one of the jackasses you dated before?"

Ryou snorted, still looking down. "Actually, the only other guy I dated. My first and only boyfriend. And he makes you looked like Mother fucking Theresa."

"Somehow I doubt that."

Ryou shook his head, his eyes narrowing. "You're rude and crass, but you're not cruel. He… The things he did…" Ryou cut himself off, taking a deep breath. Kek didn't really know much about this dickwad Ryou used to date, but it gave him a terrible feeling in his gut.

Ryou shook his head slightly, brushing aside the darker thoughts. "Anyway, I ran into him after work the other day. He kept heckling me and asking what was going on his life. I tried to ignore but he pisses me off. He let it slip that he knew that I was dating again and…" Ryou leaned back, his face sour. "He did what he does best. Being a fucking asshole and getting in my head."

Kek didn't say anything, watching Ryou's frustration and fear play out across his face. "I shouldn't listen to him, but he knows how to get to me. He pointed out that this wouldn't be any different. That I have a type I go for, regardless of the risk, and that things would just turn out the way they did before." Kek furrowed his brow. He didn't know much about Ryou's previous relationship, but based on Ryou's troubled look, he could guess that it didn't end on good terms.

Kek jerked his head up when Ryou started laughing, an almost manic note to it. "And you know? He's right! I have this uncanny ability of seeking out trouble. When I started dating you, I wanted to take things slow. I didn't want to rush. But life doesn't work that way. Things were moving much quicker than I had planned and I realized I was falling for you hard and before I knew it, I realized I was in too deep. And I got scared and I panicked and…"

Ryou wrung his hands, unable to hide his anxiety. Kek sighed, feeling softer than he did before. "You decided to push me away before I could do the same to you."

Ryou snapped his head up, looking guilty at before glancing away. He nodded as he sighed. "… I'm sorry. I just kept thinking something would go wrong and I didn't… I figured if I ended it before I got hurt, it would be for the best."

Kek chuckled, shaking his head. In a strange way, Ryou was too much like himself. Both were paranoid that things would go wrong in their relationship. Where Kek tried to cling tighter so as to hold himself together, Ryou pushed away to protect himself. Yet it was quite clear that neither wanted this.

Kek watched Ryou for a moment. His hand jerked for a moment before he finally decided to raise a hand, gently running his fingers through the white hair. Ryou blinked but didn't move, exhaling as he relaxed at the touch. They stood there for a few moments, not speaking.

"… You fucking suck at relationships, you know that?" Kek stated, his hand not pausing. Ryou grimaced Kek, but even he couldn't help the smile growing on his face.

"Never claimed to be good at them." Ryou admitted, closing his eyes as he allowed Kek to run his fingers through his hair.

Kek smirked at that, lowering his hand. Ryou opened his eyes, an anxious look on his face as he looked up at Kek. Well, perhaps they both were bad at this whole dating thing. But that shouldn't stop them from doing what they wanted. "You know what? Fuck your ex. Who cares how things might go? If this works for us, why not keep with it?"

Ryou blinked, a bit surprised. He suddenly laughed, a sheepish grin growing on his face. "Are you sure? I haven't exactly had the best luck with relationships. And god knows the shit ton of baggage I have. You sure you want to deal with that?"

Kek snorted, crossing his arms as he leaned back. "Can't be any worse than the shit I've dealt with in my life. All I know is that I want to stay with you. That is, if you're still in."

Ryou gave Kek an odd look, almost studying him. Kek didn't what to do, so he glared back, waiting for Ryou to figure out whatever was going on in his head. After a few long seconds, Ryou shook his head, chuckling to himself. Kek raised an eyebrow as Ryou stepped forward, resting his head on Kek's shoulder. A moment later, he felt Ryou wrap his arms around his waist.

Kek froze, his breath catching in his throat as Ryou embraced him. There it was again, that stupid warm, soft feeling. The one that made Kek feel like clay jar cracking at the seams. He felt dizzy, a rush of emotions making it hard for him to keep his guard up. He moved his arms, shifting to embrace Ryou back. He held tight, as if holding on to Ryou was the only thing holding him together.

And by the way Ryou clung to Kek, he couldn't help but wonder if Ryou had that same thought.

Kek closed his eyes as he rested his chin on the crown of Ryou's head. He could only imagine what Akefia would say if he saw them.  _No. Fuck Akefia. I don't give a shit what he thinks._  Kek knew that nothing Akefia could say would persuade him otherwise. Ryou made him happy. And for some reason, Ryou was happy around Kek. When it came down to it, that's all that mattered.

Ryou sighed, pulling away from Kek. He just raised an eyebrow, looking away. He didn't know why, but he felt somewhat bashful. Ryou just laughed, taking Kek's hand in his own. "So, what do you want to do?"

Kek glanced back, a curious look on his face. "Don't you have work?"

Ryou shook his head. "Just got out actually. I was just taking the scenic route. Besides, I think I owe you a date."

Kek snorted, glancing around as he tried to figure out what to do. He spotted something up in the air, an idea forming in his head. "Do you know where we can get a kite?"

Ryou glanced up, spotting the butterfly kite above them. He grinned. "I have an idea where we could dig one up. Want to make it more interesting?"

Kek rolled his eyes, allowing Ryou to lead him to a shop not too far off from the park. "Why do I get the sense that I will regret asking what you have in mind?"

Ryou gave him a smile far too innocent to mean anything good. "I was thinking we could get two kites and have a kite battle."

Kek couldn't help but grin at the suggestion. Before he could agree to such a fantastic idea, Ryou's smile made him pause. He watched Ryou from the corner of his eye. "… What's the catch?"

Ryou just hummed lightly, his smile looking more like a smirk. "Want to raise the stakes?"

 _Fucking hell. That's what this is about._  Kek knew he should say no, but at the same time, his curiosity got the best of him. God knows what Ryou had in mind. "The fuck do you have in mind?"

Ryou just laughed, leaning into Kek. "Nothing too crazy. Just something small to start."

"And that would be?"

Ryou just shrugged, thinking for a moment. "Let's say, winner gets a blowjob?"

Despite himself, Kek started laughing. Ryou was a horny bastard. He could get used to this. "You got yourself a bet. Let's get those fucking kites."

Ryou laughed, dragging Kek alongside him. Kek couldn't help the grin growing on his face. Being around Ryou was intoxicating. There was something about that snarky albino that Kek couldn't help but love. Perhaps things wouldn't always be this happy for them. They'll have their problems and fights. Perhaps things wouldn't work out in the end.

But Kek wanted him and Ryou to figure that one out for themselves. They didn't need to be afraid. They just needed each other right now. And that was reason enough to stick it out.

Kek shoved away his foreboding thoughts of the future, focusing on battle strategies. He planned on winning this kite war, damn it. The prize was too good to pass up.  _Let the games begin._


	12. Chapter 12

The weeks following their confrontation, things went fairly well for the new couple. They weren't without their arguments or disputes (Ryou still could be a stubborn jackass), but the two decided to take it at their own pace. It didn't matter if the world said it wouldn't work out. It was working for them right now, so why should they care?

Kek hardly gave a second thought to what other people thought. He did whatever he felt like. And as of recently, he wanted to make Ryou happy. There was something about catching the albino off guard. He wanted to see him hiding a large grin, laughing out loud until his sides hurt. He loved the way Ryou would snuggle up with him after a fun romp, a post-coital aftereffect. He enjoyed those moments where Ryou hugged him hard, as if holding on to him for dear life.

Ryou was a jackass, but he was the exact kind of jackass that Kek loved to hang out with.

Akefia was of a similar brand of Ryou, in that he could be a snarky son of bitch. But unlike Akefia, Ryou seemed to reciprocate the treatment he received. If Kek was polite to Ryou, he would respond similarly. If Kek was acting like a jerk, Ryou would react in kind. It didn't matter how you treated Akefia – he was a pain in the ass 24/7. And he gave no fucks what people thought of him.

Yes, people like Ryou were at least reasonable son of a bitch.

It wasn't until three weeks after they officially broke up and got back together that Kek invited Ryou over for dinner at his place. He hadn't meant to do it. It had been completely by accident. The two had gone out to get ice cream (in early March of all times because Ryou wanted ice cream). Kek had turned to ask Ryou for a bite of his ice cream. When Ryou turned to face him, looking stunningly beautiful, Kek got tongue-tied and accidentally asked a different question.

As a result, Kek incidentally invited Ryou over for dinner at his place. Ryou was ecstatic and eagerly agreed. Kek, while also excited, felt a sudden rush of fear. He had never had people over before (willingly at least). His place was a dump – nowhere near the level of comfort of home that was Ryou's apartment. And sure, he thought his own food tasted good, but cooking for another person was a completely different matter.

Regardless, Kek got himself into this mess, so he had to see his way through. The day he was expecting Ryou over, Kek stood in his living room, trying to figure out where to start. Cooking could wait a bit while he tried to figure how to make this place not look like a shithole. He rummaged through his collection of broken gadgets and useless tools that he had accumulated.

After a few minutes, Kek realized that he wouldn't mind tossing most everything. The only thing of real value that he wanted to hold onto was his music, which he had spent quite some time sifting through to pick out stuff he liked. Conveniently, his collection of records, 8-tracks, and CDs all sat apart from his other junk, all gathered in the chest below where his TV sat.

Outside of that, Kek started to collect the random junk laying about, snagging a trash bag as he commenced the purge. He didn't remember getting half the stuff he owned, but if he hadn't used it by now, then it wasn't worth keeping. A couple trips down to the dumpster later, Kek's apartment was looking significantly cleaner. He stood in the middle of his living room, looking around.

Now his apartment looked depressingly barren.

He groaned in frustration. The clutter had given the illusion of the place being well lived in, despite the fact that the apartment often more like cage than anything else. He glanced at an old clock, trying to figure out the time. It would be another couple of hours before Ryou would get here. He had time to go and try to make this place feel less like a cave and more… livable.

Kek wasn't sure why he cared, wandering around from store to store. He had no idea how to even decorate his apartment. He felt stupid as he idly travelled from store to store, looking at posters, furniture, centerpieces, and more. He felt clueless as to how to proceed. In his mind, the only example he had to go off of was Ryou, who despite the lack of space had made it work.

It was Kek passed by a camera display did he pause in his aimless search. Sure, he could own all the crap he wanted in the world, but that didn't make it home. Ryou had filled his home with things that were important to him. From books to games to movies, these things personalized his place to turn it from just a small space to his home. But more than that, it was the pictures of his family spread throughout that made this place a sanctuary.

That's when Kek realized he didn't have any pictures.

When Kek was kicked out, he didn't take much with him except the clothes on his back. He wasn't going to come back groveling and begging to come home. He felt no attachment, no desire to tie himself to the family he lost. He knew despite how much they struggled and pushed him away, they wouldn't be able to remove the blood that bonded them.

So Kek and siblings begrudgingly accepted that they could not remove the other from their life just as one couldn't lose their shadow. That's what Kek was, after all? An unwanted shadow, unable to lose the last shackles that bonded him to his old life. He and his twin brother were one in the same, sharing scars of their past. Only Kek was the one to fight back.

And now, Kek was left to wonder how to fill the void in his life left by his family.

Kek stared at the picture frames a bit longer, contemplating something he had never considered before. He wanted photos, a visual memory of the happier times in his life. When it came down to it, what he really wanted was a picture of his mother, who he had the fewest negative memories of. But Kek was also aware that the only way he would get a picture is to ask his siblings. And that was out of the question.

Kek sighed, giving up his search to make his home more hospitable and focused on getting groceries instead. He hadn't realized it until recently how lonely he had felt. Kek had preferred being alone, almost hermit-like in a way. He hung out with the gang as a means to pay bills, but Kek realized now that perhaps it had been his way to ward off his isolation. Bad company was better than no company after all.

It was strange that he and Ryou were dating, Kek mused to himself. It had taken so long to get Kek out of his shell, but he now found that he did not want to go back. Ryou offered him a respite he hadn't known he needed. And despite Ryou's tentative vulnerability, he was still guarded. In a way, Kek wanted to be able to offer that same solace that Ryou gave him.

Kek shook his head, letting himself back into his empty apartment. He dumped off the groceries in his kitchen, putting away some stuff while keeping others items out on the counter for dinner. He knew that pushing Ryou wouldn't get far. Kek had his own secrets that he was reluctant to divulge. Kek only had to think of the scars he wore to remember his own dark past.

Kek shoved away these thoughts. Brooding would do him no good while making dinner. He decided to make rice balls, looking at the collection of meats and vegetables. Now that he had mastered the art of making rice (which he figured would eventually happen what with living in Japan), onigiri seemed like a safe yet fun experiment. With his goal in mind, Kek started making rice and figuring out what filling to make.

Things went fairly smoothly for about 30 minutes. Kek finished cleaning, still annoyed by the state of his apartment. With any luck, they'd end up in the bedroom anyway, but that didn't mean Kek liked how much how his home felt like a prison cell. Ryou would be here soon and there was no point in worrying about it now.

The sound of the rice cooker beeping brought Kek back to his kitchen. Quickly washing his hands, he grabbed his filling, ready to start making onigiri. In his eagerness, Kek forgot how hot fresh rice would be. He scooped a spoonful of rice to his hand, instantly regretting the decision as he dropped the rice back into the pot. He growled, frustrated as he shook his hand.

Rinsing his hand under cool water and waiting a bit longer, Kek grew impatient again, scooping some rice back up. It was still hot, but not unbearably so. It was at this point that Kek realized that making onigiri was deceptively more difficult than he initially thought. Kek puzzled over a moment on how to get the filling in the middle, trying his best to create a divot.

Once he got his filling in, he tossed more rice as he tried to form a ball. He could try different shapes later, but sticking with the basics seemed like a good strategy. Despite how he tried, Kek couldn't seem to get the shape right and when he did, the onigiri would start to fall apart. In the end, he had something resembled a hamburger than a ball.

Kek didn't have time to worry about his first try, as he realized that Ryou would be here any minute. He started the second one, finding slightly more success, though the rice ball was far from being round.  _Ryou can deal with these goddamn things not being round._  The fact that this dinner was getting the better of him was pissing him off.

Kek was distracted from his anger with a knock at the door. He swore under his breath, quickly rinsing off his hands before going to answer the door. A brightly smiling Ryou was at the door. Kek forced himself to smile, even though he wasn't particularly thrilled with Ryou's timing. He was glad to see him, but annoyed at not having his shit together.

Before Kek could say something to greet Ryou, the albino snorted before covering his mouth. Kek raised an eyebrow, an annoyed look growing on his face. "The fuck are you laughing about?"

Ryou seemed to think for a minute, debating how to answer. Finally he shrugged, leaning up slightly as he picked out some rice from Kek's hair. "I was going to ask what's for dinner, but I think I found my answer."

Kek blinked before groaning, taking the rice from Ryou's hand. He hadn't bothered checking to see how he looked, but he could only imagine how haggard he appeared.

His own disheveled appearance drew his attention to the shadows under Ryou's eyes. "Are you getting enough sleep? The bags under your eyes seem to be growing."

Ryou jerked his head away slightly from the prodding finger near his face. "You already know the answer to that. And to respond to your oncoming statement, I'm trying to get sleep when I can."

Kek raised an eyebrow, not sure if he really believed Ryou's assuagement. "If you're that tired, perhaps we can hang out another time."

Ryou shook his head, a devious smile growing on his face. "And miss out a chance to try your cooking? I'm hardly going to pass that up!"

Kek turned his head slightly, feeling an involuntary blush grow on his face. He knew Ryou was just teasing but goddamn he always knew which buttons to push. "Don't make me regret inviting you over."

Ryou chuckled, leaning in briefly to give Kek a quick kiss. Even the simple gesture made Kek feel weak in the knees. "Oh don't worry. I think I can make it worth your while tonight."

Despite Kek's concern, he couldn't help the twisting sensation in his stomach at the thought of spending the rest of tonight and tomorrow with Ryou. Kek smirked, letting go of the issue. He stepped out of the way to let Ryou in, his stomach twisting in worry instead of excitement as Ryou examined around his barren apartment. "Make yourself at home."

Ryou's face quirked into a smile, entering the apartment. Kek watched as Ryou stepped in, looking around rather curiously. If he thought Kek's place looked dull, he didn't show it. After a few seconds, Ryou wandered over to Kek's music collection, flicking through a few records. "I didn't know you had such a keen interest in music."

Kek didn't really know how to reply, shrugging as he glanced away. "… I guess it's a hobby of mine. If I like it, I'll get it."

Ryou just chuckled. "Not a bad strategy. That how you decided you wanted to date me?"

Kek rolled his eyes. "Some days I wonder if you just say things to see if they'll piss me off."

Ryou just gave him an innocent smile. Despite Kek's suspicions, he decided to let it slide. He glanced back to his kitchen, feeling more embarrassed. "I… made onigiri if you want to try some. I can't promise they'll be any good."

The look Ryou gave him had Kek instantly regretting the decision to invite him over for dinner. "Really? I want to see!"

Kek didn't say anything but walked back to the kitchen. The lopsided balls of rice only added insult to injury. He returned to his spot in the kitchen, still not finished making the onigiri, though there was enough to start eating. Ryou came in, blinking as he picked up one of the rice balls to study. "What did you use for filling?"

Kek studied the one Ryou held, going over to his pot of rice to continue making onigiri. "Uh.. fish, I think. At least, I think that one's fish." Kek clarified when he saw the worried look grow on Ryou's face.

Kek kept his eyes down as Ryou took a tentative bite into his dinner. Kek felt very self-conscious. It's not like it mattered. If it sucked, he could still toss it and then could order in. It shouldn't be a big deal. But it mattered to Kek for some damn reason. He wanted Ryou to like the food he made. He wanted Ryou to enjoy what he created. It was stupid, but he couldn't help feeling that way.

When Ryou didn't say anything after a few seconds, Kek decided to glance up. Ryou was finishing up the first rice ball, with no verbal response. _… Is he going to tell me if it's good or not?_  Kek felt himself frustrated by Ryou's lack of verbal response. "Well?"

Ryou turned his head, a blank expression on his face. "Well, what?"

"Do you like it?"

"The onigiri? Yeah, it's good."

Kek was starting to wonder why Ryou didn't say anything until he got the smallest twitch of his mouth, a light smile playing on his face. "… Dick." Kek muttered, turning away.

Ryou broke out into a laugh, finishing up the last of the rice ball. "Sorry. It's not often I get to see you so antsy. It's kind of cute."

Kek decided to ignore Ryou, focused on trying to make sure this next rice ball wouldn't be so crooked or uneven. He wasn't paying attention until he heard the water running. He glanced behind to see Ryou washing his hands. "What the hell are you doing?"

Ryou just dried his hands before coming over next to Kek. "I thought I'd help you make some rice balls. Cooking is more fun when you have company."

Kek snorted, trying to bump Ryou away from the pot of rice. "Idiot. I'm supposed to be making you dinner."

"Yeah, but you suck at making onigiri. So let me help you and we'll call it a day."

"Fuck no. Sit down and eat your lopsided onigiri, damn it."

"You just want an excuse to watch me put your balls in my mouth."

Kek rolled his eyes. Arguing was pointless with Ryou. "Jesus, not everyone is as fucking horny as you."

"Language, Kek!" Ryou gasped in a scandalous tone. He snuck around Kek, stealing the spoon before scooping up a handful of rice. Kek accepted his defeat as his stubborn fool of a boyfriend joined him in making dinner, stealing glances from time to time to try and mimic how Ryou made his onigiri.

It only took the two of them ten minutes to finish making dinner. Kek smirked to himself, feeling rather happy with the result despite Ryou having to help him out. He didn't mind all too much though. They hadn't really talked, but just being able to work side by side with him was… nice all the same.

Kek waited as Ryou washed his hands before grabbing some food. As Kek turned to wash his hands, his mind was distracted by a light touch. Kek would have ignored it, however after a moment, he realized why the touch unnerved him. He felt Ryou's hand lightly trace along his back, feeling the scars underneath his shirt.

Kek didn't say anything, frozen in his spot as Ryou stood behind him. He sensed what Ryou would ask, but he didn't dare speak. He knew the touch wasn't threatening, but it still put him on edge. He forced himself to exhale, realizing he had been holding his breath.

After a moment, Ryou spoke quietly. "Who did this to you?"

Kek thought about answering, about unloading his burden and sharing his past pain with Ryou. He thought about telling him about is broken family. He thought about telling him about his abusive father and how he used to put him and his siblings through hell. He thought about telling Ryou about how he finally fought back and now that wicked man was gone, but so was everything else in his life.

But the words wouldn't come to Kek's mouth. He couldn't talk about it. He didn't know how.

Kek sighed, turning around to face Ryou. His lavender eyes settled on Ryou, whose expression revealed nothing. Kek didn't know what to say, so instead he reached to take Ryou's hand in his own. He looked down at the pale hand, his thumb tracing the knot on his palm. Ryou noticed the intentionally of the gesture, his breath hitching slightly in nervousness.

Perhaps Kek couldn't talk about it, but Ryou had his own darkness he dealt with too. They didn't need to talk about yet, did they? Kek felt comfortable enough with Ryou, but Kek struggled to use words to expression his pain. It was easier with actions, with quick embraces and slow kisses, to convey his affection towards Ryou and ward off the shadows of loneliness.

Kek raised Ryou's hands to his lips, kissing the scar gently. He didn't look up to Ryou's face, but instead kept his focus on pale hand held between both his hands. "It doesn't matter now. It's over."

Ryou didn't say anything, his own eyes averted down to look at the hand Kek held. After a moment, Ryou nodded his head silently. Kek stayed still, lost in his own thoughts.  _Aren't we a depressing pair?_  Still, Kek couldn't be mad. He wanted Ryou to be honest about how he felt, whether it was happy or sad.

After a moment, Ryou shook his head, his white hair tossing about. He let out a loud sigh, leaning back as he grinned. "Well, enough moping for one date. Can I eat now?"

Kek laughed, a grin growing on his face. "Shut up and grab some damn food already."


	13. Chapter 13

Following dinner, Kek and Ryou went to his living room to figure out something to do. Kek didn't have much in terms of entertainment outside of music. Ryou didn't seem to mind, checking out his collection before finding a Bruce Springsteen album. Kek felt rather passive as he let Ryou take control, feeling a bit out of his element playing the host to their date.

Ryou, the ever present gamer he was, had brought over a deck of cards just in case. Kek knew that getting into card games with Ryou would likely involve him agreeing to some stupid bet. But some twisted part of him was rather interested in the possibility. He knew the risks, but that made victory all the more sweet.

Instead of starting out with Poker, Ryou decided to teach Kek a couple of different games. He didn't mind learning and some of the games had been rather enjoyable. He particularly enjoyed Egyptian Ratscrew, if only for the fact that he got to try and slap Ryou while trying to grab the cards. While initially frustrating, the game flow quickly picked up as the two almost raced each other to a combination.

Naturally, during their competition, Ryou would keep asking questions. "Favorite album?"

"It changes. But for now, 'River of Dreams' by Billy Joel."

Ryou nodded before slapping at the pile pre-emptively, throwing in a card as a penalty. "Not bad. I have a soft spot for the 2000s personally."

"Yeah? What's your favorite?"

"'The Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance."

Kek just chuckled, a grin growing on his face. He spotted the pair a split-second before Ryou, slamming his hand down before he felt Ryou's smack his hand. He smirked as the albino swore at him, shaking his hand out.

Ryou just let out a huff before flipping a card down. "If you could travel anywhere in the world, regardless of cost, where would you go?"

Kek furrowed his brow for a moment in thought. "… Probably NYC. Everyone says good things about it, so why not."

"Fair enough. Would you want to see a Broadway show?"

"You said money is no object?"

"Yep."

"Then yeah. I'll watch whatever the hell is on."

Ryou's mouth quirked into a smile. "Didn't know you were a theatre geek."

Ryou snorted, his face screwing up slightly. "I'm not. But if it's free, I'll bite."

Ryou laughed out loud at that, slapping his hand down on the pile. Kek realized a second too late that it was a sandwich. He swore at Ryou, who just gave him an innocent smile. Kek looked down at his pile, noticing that his stack bigger. If he was quick, he could win this round.

Ryou brushed some loose hairs away from his face. "If I could go anywhere, I'd go to England."

Kek furrowed his brow in curiosity. "Why there?"

Ryou didn't reply immediately, but stared at the new stack suspiciously, as if debating whether to let it slide or not. "…It's where my mother is from."

"You're British?"

Ryou nodded his head. "Yep. My mom's from a suburb of London. My dad is from Kyoto. They met while my father had a business meeting overseas. They moved to Domino after they got married. So I grew up speaking English and Japanese at home."

Kek raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. This was all new information about Ryou. For the most part, the albino was rather reluctant to talk about his past, which didn't surprise Kek. He couldn't help but be a little curious. "What was your mother like?"

Ryou looked up from the cards, somewhat surprised by the question. He glanced down, a bittersweet smile growing on his face. "She… was wonderful. I think she was the only person with a level head in my family. She was laidback and kind. My father was always a more distant, but my mother was very loving and open. Me and Amane loved her."

Kek didn't say anything as he thought over Ryou's words. Kek never knew his mother, so part of him was slightly curious what it was like to have a maternal figure. The closest thing he had to a maternal figure was Ishizu, but her care and love only went so far. There were limits to her compassion and forgiveness.

"What about you? What was your mother like?" Ryou's question brought Kek out from his thoughts. He glanced up at Ryou, leaning back as he realized they were now talking more than playing. Kek took a long breath, tentatively opening up.

"… I don't know. She died in labor with me." There was a heavy silence between them. Kek glanced away, not sure how to keep the conversation going.

"I'm sorry."

Kek just shrugged. "Don't be. While I wish she had been around, you get used to the absence of a mother growing up. Not that I would recommend it to anyone."

Ryou snorted, glancing away. "No, I get it. My mom and sister died when I was thirteen. I was the only one who survived the accident… that does stuff to you."

Kek glanced back towards Ryou. "… And your father?"

A bitter look grew on Ryou's face, as he glared at the ground. Kek hadn't expected a response and was surprised when he got one. "No. I was stuck with that asshole. After mom died, he didn't want anything to do with me. He thought it was somehow my fault that mom died. When I was younger, I felt like he was right because, you know, survivor's guilt. But now, I know better."

A dry smile grew on Kek's face. "I'll take it that you don't talk much with your dad anymore."

The angry expression on Ryou's face crumpled slightly. "Yeah… but not by my choice." Kek narrowed his eyes, perplexed by this change of mood and composure.

"What happened?"

Ryou didn't respond immediately, he turned his eyes back to the game, flipping a card down. When Kek didn't place a card down in return, Ryou sighed, still staring at the deck. "He left. I came back from school one day and everything was gone. He walked out. The neighbor noticed me wandering the neighborhood, confused as hell, and called the CPS. I got to experience the joy of foster care for the next four years of my life until I finally turned 18 and got the hell out of there."

Kek didn't say anything, staring at Ryou's hands. He felt an uncomfortable twinge in his chest, his anger boiling at at Ryou's father for being a dick. Kek was familiar with terrible fathers, and Ryou's dad certainly qualified. "I'm sorry. You're right. Your dad's a fucking shithead."

To his surprise, Ryou laughed at that remark, a small smile playing out on his face. "Couldn't have said it better myself. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. He's gone and my life's better for it."

Kek nodded, placing a card down on the deck. While he understood Ryou's pain and his sentiment regarding his father, there was something guarded. He felt humbled knowing that Ryou had entrusted him with this information. But Kek knew the last sentence was a lie. Ryou's life certainly hadn't been easy and he would hardly make the assumption that his life is better afterwards.

While Kek certainly felt that his life was better now without his dad in the picture, it didn't make other things easier in his life. He knew how things worked. Just because he solved one problem didn't make all of his problems go away. It only exacerbated issues at home. His dad could no longer hurt him, but now, he could never be with his siblings. When he lost his father, he lost his entire family.

For the first time in years, Kek regretted the loss of the only people that had mattered to him.

Kek watched the pile numbly, he and Ryou now not speaking. Kek had gotten used to being alone after being kicked out. That was the price he had to pay in order to free himself from his father. Like a constant reminder of his deeds, Kek was alone. The repercussions of his action would stay with him like an emotional scar.

Kek blinked, staring at the back of Ryou's hand for a moment.  _Scars._  As different as they were, it felt like their scars was the one connective thing that drew them together. Despite whatever hardships they had faced, they had gotten through them and survived. But they weren't without their scars. They knew of the others' scars, but both were reluctant to explain that story. To explain that pain.

Kek knew there was more that Ryou wasn't telling him. They were both fucked-up people, and Kek had only scratched the surface to his suffering. But Kek wanted to know more. He was apparently greedier than he thought, but part of him wanted to not only had Ryou confide in him but also he could confide in Ryou. For the first time, Kek met someone who might understand his pain. Sincerely and honestly.

Kek thought about conveying this to Ryou, to let him in. Before he could gather his thoughts, Ryou slapped his hand on the pile. Kek blinked, having forgotten about the came. "Shit!"

Ryou grinned, a devious look on his face. "Oh, how the tables have turned. Better not let up now or you might lose our bet."

"Fuck you." Kek snarled, returning his focus to the game. In a split second, Ryou had completely turned the game around. Because he hadn't been paying attention, Kek was down to almost ten cards.  _Can't fuck this up now._

Kek stared at the deck with such intensity, he thought it might burst into flames. Ryou casually flipped cards down, his eyes not leaving the pile. Kek stared nervously as his cards dwindled. No sooner had he placed his last card down did Ryou slap his hand down. Kek blinked, swearing in frustration as Ryou claimed victory.

"And I believe that's game. You really had me on the ropes there for a bit."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Like I fucking care." Kek dismissed, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the couch.

Ryou smiled as he gathered the cards and put them in their case. "Oh really? I figured our bet might have been rather motivating."

Kek turned black, noticing the flushed look on Ryou's face. He smirked back, feeling slightly jittery as Ryou drew closer to him. "What's not to say I threw the game in your favor? Spare you some pain and embarrassment."

Ryou snorted, climbing into Kek's lap before taking Kek's face into his own hands. "Doubtful. That would mean you're far more considerate than you actually are."

"Fuck you."

"Language Kek. My virgin ears can't handle such slanderous words."

Kek rolled his eyes. "Has anyone ever told you that you're an asshole?"

"It's come up once or twice. I'm still not the worse person I know, though. So I think I can live with myself."

Kek smirked, leaning in to brush his lips against Ryou's. "I'm guessing you're talking about yours truly?"

Ryou chuckled, pressing his forehead against Kek's. His expression was soft and thoughtful. "Oddly enough no. I imagine you would be for most people who've met you. Just goes to show you how many dickheads I've had to deal with."

Kek furrowed his brows for a moment before realizing the target of Ryou's comment. "You're talking about that ex of yours?"

"The one and only." Ryou remarked dryly, a light scowl on his face growing. Kek raised an eyebrow, leaning back against the couch so he could more clearly see Ryou. The change in topic reminded him of an earlier conversation.

"Ryou, is that jackass still heckling you after work?"

Ryou didn't respond immediately, raising a hand to run through Kek's hair. Though it felt nice, Kek refused to let himself get distracted. The albino sighed as he leaned back, his hand falling to Kek's chest. "Sort of. It's not everyday, but he'll randomly show up after my shift ends at the bar. Truth be told, it's more annoying than anything else."

Kek growled under his breath. He wasn't sure when it happened by, but a strange protective urge was starting to grow in him. The idea of Ryou being harassed by an unwelcomed someone from his past did not sit well with Kek. Especially given that Kek was willing to step in and help if needed.

"Do you want me to meet you after work then? At least until he gets the message to leave you alone?"

Ryou just laughed, pulling his hair back behind his shoulder. "Look at you, being all chivalrous." Kek didn't snap back in time before Ryou kept talking. "Honestly, it'll be fine. He's a pest more than anything. I decided a while back that I won't let him hurt me again. I won't give him that power."

Kek raised an eyebrow, not entirely sure what happened between Ryou and Douchebag McGee. He raised a hand to absentmindedly twirl a strange of white hair that had fallen forward. "I don't mind coming by. I just want to make sure you're safe."

He heard Ryou snort, glancing up to see a bemused look on his face. " I know. That's what worries me."

"You don't think I can take him?"

"Hell no. I know you could kick his ass. But I'll probably get fired from my job if my manager knew that my boyfriend with beating up one of his patrons. He's finicky like that."

"Between the coffee shop and the bar, I can't tell which one of your supervisors is worse."

"Definitely the bar. My only real problem with being a barista is that they want me to work more hours than I can do with my two jobs. I don't particularly care for sleazy drunkards. Hipsters are much more manageable."

Kek glanced over Ryou's attire, noticing the oversized, worn sweater. "You could probably fit in with that crowd. You have the Salval attire and pretentious attitude. All you need is a beanie and a cup of coffee and you'd be set."

Ryou laughed out loud, shaking his head in exasperation. He leaned back into Kek, their chests pressed against each other. "Hey, I was wearing this sweater before it was cool, dick."

Kek closed his eyes momentarily as he Ryou kissed him, his breath stolen away. Ryou just smirked, nestling down as he began to pepper Kek's neck with light kisses. Kek tried to say something sarcastic back, but he ended up gasping as Ryou bit near his collarbone. The pain quickly disappeared as Ryou licked and kissed the lightly bruised skin. Ryou continued his gentle torture, leaving Kek to pant and squirm beneath of him.

Ryou stopped the blissful agony, looking back up to meet Kek's eyes. "You don't have guests over very often, do you?"

Kek raised an eyebrow, not sure where this was going. He would prefer if Ryou just got on with it instead of teasing him. "Not usually. Why?"

Ryou smirked. "I thought as much. You're not a very good host, you know that?"

"Is this just going to be another fucking round of everything I don't do right? Because I can think of better ways to kill time."

Ryou laughed, brushing his nose against Kek's, the innocent smile on his face disguising his conniving mind. "I don't doubt it. But Kek, a good host always gives his guests a tour of the house."

"Oh? Was there something in my home you wanted to see?"

"Yeah, your bedroom."

Kek chuckled, his heart practically racing. He smirked back at the albino, stealing a kiss before moving to stand up. "Oh how rude of me. Shall I give you that tour now?"

Ryou giggled, the act far more innocent than their actual intentions. Kek led Ryou towards the bedroom. They had only made it past the door before Kek felt himself shoved up against the wall, Ryou pressing against him. Kek met Ryou's advances, their kisses hungry and desperate. He felt Ryou pulling at his shirt, quickly ripping the fabric off and freeing his upper torso.

Once they had freed themselves of their clothes, Kek soon found himself laying down on the bed, Ryou hovering over him. Kek struggled not to whine and moan like a bitch as Ryou took his time, kissing down his chest, but he found his will power corroding as he lost himself to the moment. He was like putty in Ryou's hand, desperate and needy for his touch.

Ryou finally brought his attention down to Kek's straining erection, tracing a finger up it. Kek gasped sharply, squinting his eyes shut. Slowly, Ryou took his cock in his hand, slowly pumping him. He continued to kiss Kek's chest, sucking on one of his nipples. Kek squirmed and writhed to his touch, clawing at the bed beneath to gain purchase.

He felt Ryou shift up slightly, kissing Kek's jawbone. "So where do you stash your lube? Otherwise, you're in for a rough ride."

Kek struggled to understand what Ryou was asking for a moment before reaching over towards his bed stand. He had remembered to buy some at the store earlier, grateful for his earlier preparation. Especially given that he had lost their bet and he would be bottoming now. He handed it over to Ryou, trying to hide how nervous he felt. Ryou hadn't said anything about his inexperience, so there was still a chance that Ryou didn't know it was his first ti-

"Since this is your first time, shall I take it slow? Wouldn't want to hurt you too much."

Kek gritted his teeth, groaning in frustration instead of ecstasy. "You're a fucking jackass."

Ryou pulled away, smiling ever-so-innocently. "Hey, I'm just trying to be considerate for your benefit after all."

"How long have you known?"

"That you were a virgin? Pfft. When we had sex that first time. You were so nervous and shy, it was adorable. I figured saying something would destroy your fragile confidence so I let you figure out the ropes." Ryou's smile softened to something more bashful. "Though despite being rather green, you did catch on rather quickly and it's been rather… good."

Kek felt himself blush at the compliment, turning to face away. "Yeah, whatever. I should've known better than to think you would be so gracious as to not say anything."

"You don't need to say anything. No words are necessary for this next bit."

Kek tried to reply back, but a new sensation distracted him. He gasped, hitching as he felt Ryou's finger slip inside of him, struggling to adjust to strange intrusion. While it stung, the sensation made Kek desire more. As Ryou prepped him, he brushed something in him that made Kek quickly realize the appeal of it all.

Gradually, Ryou continued to stretch him, Kek's breath hitching with each additional digit. Ryou didn't make a snarky remark, but Kek could tell by his amused expression that he was biting back a remark. Kek snorted his annoyance, but he could help the smirk growing on his face. "How the hell did I end up in this position?"

Ryou returned his attention back to Kek's neck, trailing down with light bites and gentle kisses. "I believe it was when you threw the game to spare my feelings."

"Last time I ever do that."

Ryou giggled, returning to kiss Kek on the lips. Ryou seemed to let Kek have the last remark, their conversation lost as the two lost themselves to passion.


	14. Chapter 14

Kek woke up to the sound of something beeping. He blinked slowly in confusion, trying to figure out the source of the noise. He thought it was his phone, though why he had it on anything other than silent was beyond him. That's when he realized it wasn't his phone.

Kek slowly shifted, unwilling to move from his spot. He was cuddled against Ryou, his head resting on the pale albino's chest. The incessant beeping eventually won out as Kek shifted, blinking the sleep out of his eyes. "Ryou, turn off your damn alarm," he mumbled against Ryou's chest.

Ryou just made a groan as a reply, his hand shuffling around Kek's bed stand as he searched for the phone. A few seconds later, the beeping stopped as Ryou turned off the alarm. Kek tried to go back to sleep, but he found that he was starting to wake up. "You have work today?"

Ryou yawned, staring up at the ceiling, trying to go back to sleep. "Not until after one today." Kek heard Ryou's breathing slowed as he quickly fell back to sleep, chuckling softly to himself. Kek usually had trouble getting up in the morning, but that was nothing compared to Ryou. The albino was rather fond of his sleep.

Kek rested his head against Ryou's shoulder, sleepily drawing on Ryou's chest while he slept. He heard Ryou stirring, grumbling slightly. Kek smirked, not stopping as he continued to draw aimless patterns, amused by Ryou's sleepy protestations. "Ry-ouuu," he teased as Ryou swatted at his hand. Kek hadn't realized how much he liked cuddling, but he swore Ryou to keep silent on that. If word got out how much of a cuddly fuck he was, his terrifying reputation would be moot.

Kek snorted to himself, returning his attention back to pestering Ryou. His doodling was put on pause as his finger passed over what felt like a knot. Realizing the location was wrong, Kek glanced up, noticing not just one, but five separate knots on Ryou's chest. Kek finally propped himself up on one arm, studying these blemishes. It was upon further evaluation did Kek realize what these marks were.

"Fine. I'm up, you impatient ass." Ryou mumbled sleepily, his eyes blinking open as he raised his arms to stretch them above his head. Kek didn't say anything, his attention still focused on the five knots on Ryou's chest. He felt Ryou run his fingers through his hair, more as a subconscious reflex than anything else.

After a moment, Kek looked up at Ryou. "Hey Ryou, can I ask you something?"

"Now? Preferably not, but I get the feeling you're going to ask anyway." Ryou gritted out as he stretched a little more, still ignoring Kek's doodling.

"… Who gave you these scars?"

He watched Ryou blink, eyes flitting down to his chest. He didn't say anything for a moment before glancing away, avoiding Kek's gaze. "… Would you believe me if I said those are birthmarks?"

Kek kept his eyes focused on Ryou's face. "If you said that to anyone else, maybe, but I'm no stranger to violence. I know burn marks when I see them."

Ryou didn't move. Kek shifted up slightly, his hand moving to run his fingers through Ryou's hair. If Ryou wanted to talk about it, he would. If not, his silence would be the only answer he would get.

After a few seconds, Ryou relented, turning back slightly to stare up at the ceiling. "Yeah, I suppose it's kinda pointless hiding it from you."

Kek furrowed his brow, noticing the rather desolate expression on Ryou's face. "Who did this?"

Ryou snorted, closing his eyes. "My shitty ex-boyfriend."

Kek didn't say anything, taking Ryou's hand as he mindlessly traced the scar on the back of his hand.  _These scars_ _…_ _They_ _'_ _re from that asshole?_  Kek had initially thought it had been from Ryou's father, but after their conversation last night, Ryou made it clear that father didn't physically hurt him. It didn't make the abandonment an easier, but the question had still remained where Ryou got these scars. That was, until now.

Kek was torn from his thoughts as he heard Ryou sigh out loud, opening his eyes. He brought his and Kek's hand up, tracing the lines on Kek's hand. "I started dating him only a few weeks after I left my foster family. I was so desperate to get out and was living paycheck to paycheck. I met him while I was getting out late from one of my shifts. Some guy was heckling me and he stepped in like some knight in shining armor."

Ryou gave a huff as his eyes shifted away, almost as if embarrassed. "He ended up asking me out on a date the next day and soon after, we were inseparable. I even moved in with him after two weeks. And I know that sounds particularly stupid for me, but at the time, I thought it made sense. I was broke and he suggested that I move in because it made financial sense. I should have seen the warning signs but…"

Ryou trailed off, unwilling to continue. "But?" Kek prompted softly.

Ryou didn't speak for a moment before finally meeting Kek's eyes, his dark brown eyes tinge with regret and sadness. "…I was so tired of being alone. I was sick of feeling unwanted. I was so desperate for love and affection from anywhere that I didn't care who it was from. And when he came in that night to rescue me, I fell hard. I didn't care. I just didn't want to be alone anymore."

Kek nodded, knowing all too well the feeling. The pain of loneliness was an unbearable one. Kek was willing to accept the company of terrible, awful people if didn't mean he was alone. He wasn't all too different from Ryou. While reluctant at first, he quickly became enamored with the albino. He hadn't realized how desperate he had become for genuine care and affection.

And Kek could see the hurt on Ryou's face, the memory still bitter and painful. Ryou had latched on to the first scrap of attention thrown in his way, only to have his hopes quickly dashed. To lie and lead on someone like that enraged Kek, a protective urge coursing through him. He leaned forward to kiss Ryou on his forehead, trying to offer some comfort.

Ryou took a deep breath, his sigh coming off a shaky breath. "Things started out okay. He could be bit rough and short-tempered, but he always apologized and promised it wouldn't happen. And I believed him. I fucking believed him. I told myself it would get better and I was taking things too serious. I thought he cared about me."

Though Ryou tried to sound angry, Kek could hear the tremor in his voice. In that moment, Kek sat up, taking Ryou with him as he pulled him into his arms. He felt Ryou resist, trying to pull away, but Kek refused. He couldn't let go of Ryou, for both of their sakes. He wanted Ryou to know he wasn't alone. That Kek would never let him feel lonely or hurt again.

He felt Ryou's defenses crumble, his resistance falling as he instead turn to bury his face in Kek's chest, the words now spilling rapidly. "The first time was an accident. We had gotten into an argument and he pushed past me to get out of the apartment. But he pushed harder than he intended and I ended fell. I ended up impaling my hand on the bed post."

Kek felt Ryou wrap his arms around him, not bothering to hide his tears anymore. "He apologized profusely, swearing he never meant to hurt me and how he would never intentionally hurt me. And I said it was fine. I knew it wasn't fine, but I thought he meant it. That it was an accident. I… I was so goddamn stupid, I-"

Ryou's words got lost in his sobs, what little barrier he had kept shattering. Kek shushed Ryou, trying to comfort as he knew best. Aside from Ryou having some rough days at work, he had always been so composed, reluctant to let Kek see him upset. And now, as he finally let go his guard, Kek's concern was to support Ryou however he could. He didn't know how or what to do, but he had to do something.

Kek ran his hand through Ryou's hair, petting him to calm him down. His thin frame shook with his wracking sobs, his face buried in Kek's chest. "Shh… it's not your fault. I know you feel like it is, but it's not your fault. It's that fucking asshole's fault. He's the one that hurt you when he shouldn't have. He's the one who knew he was hurting you and kept doing it. Whatever guilt your feeling, ignore it.  _It_ _'_ _s his fault, not yours._ "

Kek hissed out the words, speaking not only to Ryou but to himself. He felt Ryou's hands against his scars, resisting the urge to flinch away. As Ryou spoke openly about his pain, Kek felt as if his old wounds were reopened, fresh and raw. Neither of them deserved the scars they wore, and yet they still had them.

Eventually Ryou gained a hold of himself, his tears diminishing as he caught his breath. He leaned back slightly, raising a hand to wipe his tears. He stared at Kek's chest for a moment before speaking. "This was the breaking point." Ryou gestured to the burn marks on his chest.

Kek raised an eyebrow, his hand tracing the five marks. "You broke it off?"

Ryou nodded, placing his hand on top of Kek's. "Yeah. After he used me as his ashtray, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't take it. So I packed my bags and told him I was leaving. We got in a huge fight and there was lots of screaming and yelling and tears. But once I got out of the apartment, I felt like a huge burden was finally taken off of me. It didn't matter if I'd lost everything – I was finally free."

Kek closed his eyes, Ryou's words making him tremor slightly. He understood what Ryou was talking about more than Ryou knew. The liberation from pain, the sweet freedom despite the harrowing pain and nightmares that remained, was enough to make the decision worth it.

Kek glanced down, his thoughts reflective of his own pain. "Are you sure you don't want me to kick his ass still? Because I'd do it in a fucking heartbeat."

Ryou gave a breathy laugh, a weak smile on his face. "Trust me – I'll be fine. I won't let him hurt me anymore."

Kek nodded, still not convinced as he pressed his lips against Ryou's temple. "At least the worst is over."

Ryou let out a heavy sigh, his depressed featured scrunching up to form a scowl. "Well… sort of. There's nothing he can do physically to me. But he still fucked me over royally and I'm still dealing with the consequences of it…"

Kek narrowed his eyes, a bad feeling forming in his gut. He leaned back, a growl growing in his throat. "What the hell did he do?"

Ryou snorted, glaring at the bed sheets. "I used his computer to order something once and he stole my personal information. He decided to open a credit card under my name and max it out and by the time I realized what he had done, it was too late. He had cleared all records connecting the trail to him and I was left with a bunch of debt I had to pay off. Really fucked me over financially. I didn't realize how much a terrible credit score fucks you over in life."

Kek growled, getting pissed off all over again. It didn't take too much to figure out why Ryou was working over 60 hours a week between his part time jobs.  _That son of a bitch._  Life had been extremely unfair to Ryou. The cards had been stacked against him, yet Ryou kept playing. He refused to fold when others would have. "Fuck it. I'm kicking his ass. You can't talk me out of it."

"Kek, you shouldn't do that. I told you it's fine."

"I don't care. He needs his ass kicked. That fucking asshole."

Ryou sighed, chuckling under his breath as he wiped the remaining tears from his face. "Well. I won't argue on that one. I don't want to think about him anymore. I'm tired of being all weepy… Sorry about the tear-fest. I know that wasn't what you signed up for this morning, but… I have a lot of baggage."

Kek rolled his eyes, not really seeing why Ryou was apologizing about needing to talk about stuff. He would have been more concerned if Ryou didn't have any emotional reaction telling him his struggles. "I opened the lid on that can of worms. I knew what I might've been getting myself into. Every scar has a story."

Ryou nodded, staring down at his lap as he listened to Kek speak. After a moment, he glanced up, his brown eyes meeting Kek's lavender ones. "And what about you? What's your story?"

Kek blinked, his expression caught between anger and bewilderment. He hadn't intended to tell Ryou. Well, he wanted to, but he didn't know how. Perhaps he could now. Ryou was here now, listening. Ryou knows pain. He understands pain. So why couldn't he find the words? Kek closed his eyes, struggling to figure out how to express his vulnerability and fear.

_Why can't I talk to him?_

"… It was your father, wasn't it?"

Ryou's question surprised Kek, his head snapping up. Ryou met him with a steady gaze, his hand reaching up to caress Kek's cheek. "Your father hurt you, didn't he?" Ryou knew the answer, he knew the words before Kek could figure out how to say it. Kek let out a heavy sigh, his hands shaking as bitter memories brought up angry thoughts.

"He hurt me and my brother. I was trying to protect him, so he hurt me too. I got in the way. Marik cried to Ishizu and Odion, begging for them to help us. They told us things would get better… They told us to keep our heads down and endure it… They didn't protect us!" Kek jerked his head away, his frustration building. He was starting to realize his reluctance in discussing the matter with Ryou.

Taking a deep breath, Kek opened his eyes into slits, glaring at the bed. "The abuse didn't stop. So I made it stop."

Kek didn't speak anymore, letting the silence hang between the two of them. Ryou held one of his hands while rubbed Kek's shoulder. "What happened, Kek?"

Kek didn't want to say what happened. He knew he couldn't say. If Ryou knew, he would hate him and leave him. Ryou would abandon him like his family did. Kek would be alone again. The light touches drew him in, promising acceptance and compassion. But he knew better than to believe those lies.

Kek glanced back to Ryou, ready to dismiss the conversation. His words caught as he stared into Ryou's dark brown eyes. Kek couldn't look away, lost in the warmth and depth of his eyes. He could have stayed there, under the kind, forgiving gaze for god knows how long. In that moment, Kek felt something in falling apart. What little hold of his life quickly deteriorated.

Kek shut his eyes, not able to look at Ryou's face as he confessed. "I got in a fight with my father. None of my other siblings were home, and my dad came back drunk. I decided to get out before he hurt me or I hurt him. He didn't let this go and followed me out. We ended up in a scuffle and…"

The words died on Kek's lips, not able to speak. He ducked his head down, a new feeling overwhelming him. Shame. It didn't matter what it was intentional or not – it didn't change what happened. Never once had he felt bad for what happened, but sitting here in front of Ryou forced him to see himself through another's eyes. He ended up choking on his words.

"I shoved him away from me. He tripped and fell back. He snapped his head on the edge of the sidewalk… It happened so fast that I didn't realize it until it was too late. By then, he-" Kek stopped talking, his hands shaking from a rush of conflicting emotions. He just wanted to curl into a ball and not deal with his emotions, his memories, his father.

"Kek." Ryou's soft voice sounded distant. Kek shook his head, refusing to look up from the safety of his hunched form. He felt Ryou reach his hands forward, cradling Kek's face. Kek was persistent in trying to avoid Ryou, not wanting to face him, but Ryou would have none of that. Finally, Kek cracked his eyes open, still looking down.

"Kek – this is not your fault. It was an accident. It's okay." Kek could hear Ryou's voice trying to reassure him. His feeble attempt at calming him wouldn't work though. He shook his head, removing Ryou's hands with his own. Ryou's forgiveness meant very little. The gesture felt empty when paired with his own indifferent feelings towards his father.

"That's not the problem. It doesn't matter if it was an accident. Because if I could go back and stop him from dying… I wouldn't. Gods, I fucking hate him so much. If I had to go back and make a choice, I would choose my life over his. I would kill him if it meant I didn't have to suffer anymore. And I don't care if that makes me an awful person! I don't care if that's wrong! That's how I feel!"

Kek started yelling the words, his voice no longer a soft whisper. He felt Ryou grab him, pulling him into a tight embrace. He tried to push away but he ended up clinging to Ryou. He clung to Ryou as if he were the only thing keeping him from drowning. He felt as if he was choking under the weight of it all.

Ryou's words came like a soft whisper to his ear. "Shh… It's okay. I understand… I get it." Kek shook his head, refusing the comfort. Empty words would do nothing to assuage his concerns. Ryou clung tighter as if to deny these thoughts. "No. I mean it. I get it. I feel the same way. He was hurting you. You wanted to be rid of him. I understand, Kek. I get it because… if I had been pushed into a similar situation, I would have done the same as you."

The confession made Kek paused, glancing over at the mess of white hair. "… Really?"

Ryou paused before giving a small nod. "Yeah. I mean, I don't know what that says about me, but I don't think it's wrong to try protecting yourself. After all the shit he put me through, I was willing to do whatever it took to get out. Hell, I chucked a hand mirror at him right before I left. Seven years bad luck be damned – I just wanted out. No matter what it took. And I won't apologize for that. Neither should you."

Kek felt distant from his body, a strange bubbling feeling rising in his chest. His body shook, but he didn't know why. All he could do was hold on to Ryou, the weight of everything crashing on him. He felt like he would collapse if Ryou didn't hold him up. He breath caught in his throat, as if he couldn't get enough oxygen.

It hurt when Ryou pulled away. Ryou looked up, a soft expression on his face. He felt Ryou brush his thumbs against his cheeks. That was when Kek realized he was crying, the tears felt hot running down his face. He felt numb as Ryou wiped away his tears, hushing him gently.

Kek shook his head, raising a hand to clean up. He felt stupid and uncomfortable. Why was he crying to begin with? He felt sad, yes, but he also felt happy and confused and overwhelmed. There were too many emotions, too much to feel. Part of him wanted to burrow away, to shut away the conflicting emotions and put his guard back.

But he could see the tears in Ryou's eyes too. And in that moment, Kek knew that Ryou was enough.

Kek pulled Ryou back again, holding him tight as the tears ran fresh down his face. He didn't understand all the reasons for his tears, but he also knew that it was okay to sit with this confusion. He buried his face into the white hair, allowing himself to comfort and be comforted. The two sat there together in silence, like broken pieces from the glass.

After a few minutes, Kek slowly pried himself away from Ryou. Though his face was dry from tears, he still wiped his face. Ryou did the same, a rather impish look on his face. Kek could only imagine how odd the pair looked with the red-rimmed eyes. Ryou took a deep breath sighing as his body relaxed. "Well, this wasn't quite how I imagine this morning would go."

Despite himself, Kek laughed, raising a hand to run through his hair. "Sorry about that. Didn't mean for this to turn into a chick-flick cry fest."

A bashful smile grew on Ryou's face. Kek couldn't help the smile growing on his face, his heart swelling at the beautiful sight that was Ryou. He leaned forward and stole a kiss from those soft lips. There was still a way to turn this into a fun morning for the two, despite their earlier tears. "I got an idea."

Ryou quirked an eyebrow, a mischievous look growing on his face. "Oh? I'll bite. What'd you have in mind?"

Kek smirked, stealing another kiss before pulling away, taking Ryou's hands in his. "Since you don't work until this afternoon, what's say you and I grab a shower together and heat up some onigiri?"

Ryou snorted, getting out of bed as he followed Kek towards the bathroom. "You're just looking to me help you eat up leftovers."

"Heaven forbid. I would never you use in such a way."

"And what's in it for me?"

 _Ryou's such a miserly bastard._  He glanced back, stretching slightly as if showing his muscular form. "I can think of a few incentives along the way."

Kek smirked as he saw the way Ryou's eyes darkened as his face grew flushed. Kek felt himself grow hard as Ryou drew closer, a hungry look on his face. "Intriguing. What did you have in mind, my host?"

Kek closed the gap, pressing Ryou against the wall next to the bathroom. His lips brushed against Ryou's. "It's my job to make sure my guest has a good time and enjoys himself. I have every intention of doing so."

Ryou's eyes fluttered shut, his body leaning towards Kek. "Yeah? Prove it."

Kek nearly forgot his plans for showering. It took all his willpower to remind himself of their original reason for leaving the bedroom. As tempting as it was to take Ryou and fuck him in the hallway right then and there, Kek had other plans to keep in mind.

He pulled away, chuckling at the light whine that came from Ryou. "Well then, you better meet me in the bathroom."


	15. Chapter 15

The week following their emotional breakdown, neither Kek nor Ryou brought up the incident. It felt almost taboo to talk about such an intimate and vulnerable moment between them. The two went about their lives, acting as if nothing had happened and things were the same as always.

Yet Kek couldn't help but feel as it things were somehow better than before.

It was unspoken, but Kek as if a huge burden had been taken off of him. Ryou knew now, better than Kek had thought possible. He knew the whole truth and knew how Kek felt, unrepentant yet burdened by his past. And yet despite knowing, he stayed and cried for him. Ryou didn't leave him. He stood by Kek in his pain and shared the weight of his past.

Kek hadn't realized it at the time, but he felt as if an insurmountable pressure was lifted. His shame, regret, anger, melancholy, and grief had been suffocating him. His pain had had a stranglehold on his life, making him live in constant fear of pain and further heartache. He had become callous and harsh to the world around him. He had become embittered and angry.

Even if Ryou hadn't known all that had happened, he understood what sort of struggle Kek had undergone to become so hostile and cold. They were birds of the same feather, after all. Ryou had also survived a harsh world like Kek, and it too had left him guarded and jaded. Where Kek had become aloof and aggressive, Ryou had become cynical and reserved.

Kek hadn't meant to become rather serious about their relationship, but life had an odd way of messing with your expectations. Even though commitment had been the furthest thing from his mind at the time when Kek went on that first date, he realized that Ryou had been exactly what he needed. Ryou was a solace from all the pain he had suffered.

Kek shook his head, the smile disappearing from his face. It wouldn't do for him to be smiling like an idiot while shopping in town. Ryou was at work, so Kek decided to dive more into his quickly growing hobby of cooking. Encouraged by how well dinner went, despite the lumpiness of the onigiri, he decided to try more recipes.

He found it strange how Ryou's homecooked meal had inspired this new hobby. Kek quickly moved beyond the basics of pasta and cereal to try a variety of food. He hadn't realize how much he liked various foods from all regions of world. While Ryou typically kept his focus on typical Japanese cuisine, Kek was eager to try making anything he could think of – quiche, curry, barbeque, pierogis, falafels, gumbo, stroganoff – anything was fair game.

Kek was currently shopping for his newest food experiment, trying to find a couple of ingredients you couldn't find in a grocery store. Deciding to try his hand a French cuisine, he was hunting down some European ingredients at a specialty shop. He felt a twinge of disappointment when he couldn't spot the sauce he had been looking for. He bit back an irritated sigh, not looking forward to having to deal with some overeager store clerk.

He walked down the aisle towards the cash register of the small store, confused as he spotted a young man. Even though Kek didn't have room to speak, he couldn't help but feel a bit baffled by the cashier's pointed brown hair. Kek watched the cashier pickle what he thought was beets before finally coughing. The young man finally snapped his head up, raising an eyebrow at Kek. He suspected that he was baffled at Kek's hair as well.

"Can I help you?" The young man asked, leaning back as he slid the jar he held to the side. Kek nodded, glancing around the shop.

"I'm looking for some Arome sauce. Do you keep any in stock?"

The clerk seemed surprised before a small grin grew on his face. "Actually, yeah we do. We just received a couple of bottles in about two weeks ago. How much are you looking for?"

Kek shrugged, glancing down at the crumpled piece of paper that held the recipe in hand. "I need about 50 mL for this, so at least more than that."

The cashier nodded, getting up from his stool. "I'll grab you one of the half-liters then. That should last you awhile. Just let me run in back to grab it for you."

Kek nodded, relieved that the store had what he was searching for. He had considered the idea of ordering ingredients online, but there was something reassuring about receiving a food product in hand at a store, which he could verify what he was searching for himself. He leaned up against the counter as he waited for the clerk to come back, studying the various jars to figure out what was inside.

A couple minutes later, his cashier came back out. "Here you go. To be honest, I'm glad you came in because I was worried those bottles would just sit there collecting dust. My dad orders some real weird shit around here."

Kek smirked, appreciating the candor of the young man. Typically, small talk pissed him off, but for whatever reason, Kek wasn't pissed off just yet. Perhaps that was a side effect of hanging out with Ryou all the time. It was getting easier to keep his temper in check. "I'll take what I can get. It's hard to find certain ingredients."

The cashier nodded as he rang Kek up on the register. "I hear ya. That's why my dad thought a store like this might help some of our international residents. He opened the shop to work closer with my family, but as he got older, he wanted to get back into the kitchen. So I took over so he can go back to work as a chef. I don't mind personally. You meet a lot of interesting folks around here."

Kek snorted, taking his groceries from the young man. "And apparently you have a lot of time on your hand if you're pickling… beets?"

He saw the young man roll his eyes, as if in exasperation. "I have one crazy customer who loves this crap. I don't get it. This smells god awful."

Kek took a tentative sniff before immediately recoiling back. "Fuck. Hard pass on that."

"Wish I could do the same." The cashier handed Kek his receipt, fighting the grimace on his face as he flicked his eyes back down to the jars. Kek shoved the receipt in his pocket as he turned to exit.

"Hey, pineapple head!" It took Kek a moment to realize that the clerk was talking to him. Two months back, Kek would've just snapped and punched the idiot who called him that in the fact. Nowadays, Kek settled with glancing back, somewhat bewildered by the nickname.

"… The fuck did you just call me?"

The cashier barely noticed the rather annoyed look on Kek's face, leaning forward with a small smirk on his face. "The name's Honda. And you?"

Kek debated not responding, feeling still somewhat indignant by the misnomer. After a few seconds, he sighed, berating himself for his stupid small talk. "Kek."

Honda nodded, leaning back in his seat as he snatched one of the jars. "Well, Kek, I guess I'll see you around. Don't be a stranger. If there's ever anything you can't find in stock, let me know and I'll get it, alright?"

Kek blinked, before a smirk slipped onto his face. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

The two didn't say anything, Kek exiting the store to head back home. He couldn't help the rather tentative glowing feeling that grew in his chest. He didn't dare say it out loud, but he was pretty sure that he might have just made a friend.

* * *

While Kek enjoyed his odd relationship he had with Ryou, there were always little quirks or habits that surprised him that came with spending so much time with another person. It was strange having another person text him or call or do little things for him. It was odd how his thoughts would often turn to Ryou throughout the day. Even some of his more peculiar habits and snarkiness seemed completely natural.

Still, it surprised Kek when he came home and saw Ryou napping on his couch.

Kek raised an eyebrow but didn't make any noise as he quietly closed the door behind him. He made his way to the kitchen to put away his groceries. The fact that Ryou was tired and constantly taking cat naps to make it through any given day was nothing new. His work schedule had been relentless the last few weeks. Although he insisted it wasn't a problem and that he was used to it, Kek couldn't help but worry over his exhausted boyfriend.

He knew that he and Ryou had planned to hang out, but Kek decided to let his boyfriend sleep awhile longer. Kek started to prep the pork tenderloin, cutting up tomatoes to throw into the oven with it before starting a pot of rice. A new but relatively simple recipe, most of it was a waiting game while he would occasionally check in to baste the meal. With that settled, Kek went back into the living room, staring down at the occupied couch.

Kek debated whether to actually wake up Ryou, but decided that Ryou needed his sleep more than he needed attention. Kek walked over to the stack of books that Ryou had lent him, grabbing the Stephen King novel he had started. While Kek had never been a fan of reading, he found himself getting into a lot of different hobbies recently. Gone were the days of mindless drinking and TV watching. He had moved to horror novels and baking.

_Fuck, he has me whipped._

Kek didn't really pay much attention to the time, his nose in his book. He settled down on the floor, back against the couch. He could hear Ryou's soft breathing from behind him, the sound almost relaxing. Kek would often get antsy and frustrated when left alone to his own devices. Yet when you add the sleeping presence of another person, Kek felt himself relax as well. It was a strange side effect that he hadn't anticipated.

It was only after the timer beeped on the rice cooker did Kek realize how much time had passed. He had been completely engrossed in "Misery" when the sound interrupted him. He smirked as he saw Ryou shift only slightly before fading back into sleep. He stood up, taking his time as he pulled dinner together. Once he was satisfied, he decided to make the dangerous journey of waking of Ryou.

Kek wasn't surprised when Ryou squirmed away, shoving his face into the cushion. A smirk grew on his face, somewhat amused by Ryou's childish desire to go back to sleep. "Ryou, dinner's ready."

"… Five more minutes…" Kek could barely hear Ryou's voice, the albino lying on his stomach. Kek started to run his dark fingers through the pale hair.

"Come on. Aren't you hungry?"

"… and sleepy." At least, that's what Kek thought he heard Ryou say. It was hard to tell as Ryou started to fall back to asleep. Deciding to be less sweet and get results, Kek turned to more dastardly methods of waking up his boyfriend. His fingers dug into Ryou's sides. The effect was instantaneous.

Ryou jerked away, coiling at the gesture as he resisted. "Knock that off, jackass!" Ryou choked through his giggles. The sight just made Kek tickle his boyfriend more.

"Than get up, you lazy dick! I made us dinner and I wanna eat!" Ryou shook his head in resistance, but Kek could tell he was less sleepy and more alert now that he had been jolted from his sleep.

"Piss off! I didn't get any sleep last night." Ryou smacked Kek's hands up, sitting up as he stretched. He eyed Kek suspiciously, as if still expecting another attack. Kek, however, traced a finger along the shadows of Ryou's eyes. His eyes narrowed at the sight.

"So I've noticed. Ry, when was the last time you got a full night's sleep?" Ryou jerked his head away, taking Kek's hand in his own. He smiled lightly, though avoided Kek's gaze.

"Hard to say… I guess that night we made Dango together." Kek raised an eyebrow, waiting for Ryou to put the pieces together. When Ryou didn't follow up, Kek sighed, standing up with Ryou as he followed him into the kitchen.

"You do realize that was almost two weeks ago, right?" Ryou paused, his eyes narrowed. He glanced back, an almost embarrassed look on his face, though Kek noticed a twinge of nervousness as well.

"… No I didn't. Has it really been that long?" Kek nodded, sighing as he stepped forward. He brushed some of the hair out from Ryou's face. Ryou glanced away, a concerned look on his face. Typically it was Kek worrying about Ryou with Ryou trying to assuage him. However, it seemed that Ryou's exhaustion and extensive work schedule was starting to catch up with him.

Perhaps that's why Kek didn't want to push the issue further than normal. Perhaps a different approach was in order, all things considered. "It has. Ryou, you're being overworked. You know it and you've told me. Is there a way you can cut back on hours? You can't keep going like this."

Ryou sighed, grabbing a plate to start serving dinner. "I'd like to. You know that. But it's more complicated than that. Bills don't pay themselves, you know."

Kek nodded. He knew these arguments. He had gone in circles with these arguments with Ryou before. But perhaps he could make a new proposition. Perhaps he could find an opportunity to help. "There's got to be something that we've overlooked. You don't have any car payments to worry about. Your cell phone plan is as basic as they come. What about housing?"

Ryou chuckled, mixing his veggies into the sauce. "You know I live in a dump. That place is the cheapest I can find on a budget. Even then, rent still leaves a hefty dent."

Kek watched as Ryou dove into dinner, his hunger more apparent now that he was fully alert. He didn't say anything, pursing his lips slightly as he debated putting out the offer. It seemed outlandish, but still…

"What if you were to split the rent with someone else?"

Ryou paused, lowering his fork for a moment as he looked up at Kek. A curious expression grew on his face until it dawned on him what Kek was implying. He opened his mouth to speak before stopping again, as if it still thinking.  _Well, at least he didn't shoot it down immediately_.

"… I hadn't considered that." Ryou spoke softly, his expression thoughtful. Kek swallowed the hard lump in his throat, feeling nervous. Truth be told, he hadn't expected Ryou to warm up to the idea so quickly, what with his naturally tendency to be guarded. They were both naturally cautious people.

Kek poked at his rice again before glancing up at Ryou, who continued to quietly eat his food. With no follow-up, Kek decided to do so himself. "Is that something you want to do?"

Ryou furrowed his brow, placing his fork down. His gaze remained on his plate in front of him. "You mean move in together?"

Kek nodded, feeling a strange knot of nervousness in the pit of his stomach. Ryou took a deep breath before shrugging. Kek blinked as he watched his boyfriend keep eating, somewhat unnerved by the lack of response. "Is that a yes or a no?"

"It's neither. I don't know. I'm not sure."

Kek leaned back, a fist resting on the table. He decided to push the issue himself. "Care to tell me what's going on in that head of yours?"

Ryou's brown eyes flicked up to Kek, scrutinizing the larger Egyptian male. Ryou cocked his head to the side, a calculated look on his face. "Is this what you want?"

The question took Kek off guard. He blinked in confusion before gathering his senses. "Wait, you're asking me?"

"Is there another short-tempered, blond Egyptian in Domino City that I'm dating?"

Kek barely took note of the snarky response from Ryou. Half of Ryou's jabs at him were sarcastic in some manner or form. For whatever reason, the question made Kek feel guarded. "I mean, why not? Do you not want to move in?"

Ryou rolled his eyes, slightly exasperated. "I'm not saying that at all. I already told you that. I wanted to know if this is something you really wanted. This is a pretty big commitment for both of us and I don't want you saying yes because you feel obligated to do so. You shouldn't feel the need to try supporting me financially."

Even though Ryou wasn't making a decision, Kek couldn't help but feel like this was a rejection. Or at least, a rejection in disguise as logic. Still, he had to defend his position. "It's not just because it's cheaper. Why wouldn't I want to live with my boyfriend? Things would be easier for both of us in terms of trying to spend time together. And what does it matter if I support you financially. I don't mind it if it's for you."

That's when Kek noticed the slight shift in Ryou's posture. There was a sharpness in his gaze, a sudden flicker that disappeared as quickly as it came. "It's not about whether you're okay with having me financially dependent on you. I have a problem with that. I've been in that situation before and that power dichotomy is not something I recommend people live with."

Kek caught on to the implication, recognizing the grievances Ryou had with this potential outcome. "Ryou, I'm not going to hold this over you. I'm not like that jackass."

"While I do believe your good intentions, can you blame me for being a guarded? Is it wrong that I want to be careful and think things over? I need some time. If we both feel like this is the right thing, we'll both reach that conclusion and make it happen."

Kek knew that Ryou's logic made sense. It always did. But something about this discussion miffed Kek. He felt like he was being categorized with Ryou's abusive ex-boyfriend and that didn't sit well with him.  _Would pushing the topic make me more of an asshole?_   _I mean, I already an asshole, but more so than usual?_

Kek watched as Ryou stood up to wash his plate, reaching over to grab Kek's in the process. Kek didn't say anything as he started to put away dinner, his eyes focused on the albino scrubbing the silverware. Kek sighed, already regretting speaking his frustration. "I don't see why you're hesitating when there's an out to your situation."

Ryou paused, glancing back with a confused look on his face. Kek turned his head away, his irritation evident in his scowl. "You're exhausted now. Why wait weeks when there's a solution now? If we have problems, we can work them out together!"

Ryou watched Kek for a bit longer before sighing. He placed down the sponge next to him as he turned to face the irritated Egyptian, a testy note growing in his voice. "Relax, Kek. I think giving both of us time to think about this will be good. You don't want to rush into this decision!"

"It's not rushing. It's logical. And as rare as it is for me to reach sound conclusions on my own, I don't understand why you're not on board. I'm not going to blackmail you with money! You don't need to feel bad about it!" Kek snapped back, unsure why he felt so angry. He was just trying to help. Why did Ryou not want help? Was he doing something wrong?

A scowl grew on Ryou's face, the albino taking a more defiant position. "Piss off Kek, this is about more than just money. It's a factor, but there's more to it than that. And even still, you're honestly telling me to not worry about money when you fucking mug people to pay rent?"

Kek's response was quickly swallowed at Ryou's words. Lavender eyes narrowed, a queasy sensation in Kek's stomach.  _Ryou knows about…?_  He hadn't said anything to Ryou about what his "job" was. "How did you-?"

Ryou sighed as he glanced away, his expression hard. "You were vague when I asked before and you're hours are weird. It didn't take too much insight for me to recognize what sort of company you keep. It was more of a hunch for a long time and now I've got my answer… I can't judge you for what you do, but still… I can't accept-"

Ryou cut himself off, an awkward look on his face. Kek sighed heavily, raising a hand to pull at the blond hair sticking up. He felt his face and stomach burn with shame, like a kid with his hand caught in the cookie jar. Ryou had never brought up the topic, so Kek never bothered to tell him what he did. In truth, Kek had been avoiding the conversation, not wanting to confess to his less than legal methods of earning cash.

But now that Ryou knew, it was out in the open. Kek wanted to support Ryou, but how he could he do that without a real job? He was part of a gang and that would only cause more headache for them. But Ryou had a real problem to deal with now with his two jobs and not even money to pay rent. How quickly life became messy again.

Kek shook his head, staring at the floor. "So what do we do now?"

Ryou sighed, quietly walking across the room to Kek. He stood in front of him for a moment before wrapping his arms around Kek.  _Fucking hell._  Kek didn't move, his eyes fixated on the ground in front. He waited for Ryou to reply, getting a soft muffled response. "I don't know. Life's messy that way… Perhaps we have more baggage to sort through."

Kek felt a hard lump in his throat, as he wrapped an arm around Ryou. Though Ryou had meant to comfort, Kek felt a throb of pain and disappointment in his chest. He didn't know how to verbalize this pain. He just wanted to support Ryou the way he deserved. He wanted to show him the respect and offer him the solace he needed. And yet Kek was far too much of a fuck-up to manage that. Because he failed to sort out his own life.

A light chirping noise interrupted them. Kek could feel Ryou deeply sigh, his shoulder slightly sagging. "Work?"

Ryou leaned back, reaching back to grab his phone from his back pocket. "Probs. I should get ready for my shift."

Kek could tell by the expression on Ryou's face that he really didn't want to get. They had barely spent any time together. Ryou was too sleep-deprived and tired working his two jobs. And despite what Kek was doing now, he knew it wasn't enough. He wanted to help more, but how could he do that when he didn't want to help himself?

Kek watched as Ryou grabbed his jacket, slipping his shoes at the door. He ran his hand through his hair, shaking his head slightly. Kek locked his eyes with Ryou briefly and he knew that Ryou was thinking the same thing.

"Take care. Text me when you get out and I'll walk you home."

Ryou chuckled lightly, hugging Kek briefly. "I said you don't have to do that."

"Don't care. I'll see you at 1."

Ryou seemed to let Kek win this battle. The two briefly kissed before Ryou stepped out, Kek left to figure out his own life. Even when they finally made progress, they always seemed to fall one step behind. But this time, Kek would have to figure out himself before they could move forward together.


	16. Chapter 16

_The door closed, the sound echoing through the room. Kek glared at the table, his head unmoving. He knew who it was – he didn't need to look to know. The chair in front of him scraped slightly as the tall, bald man sat down._

_Neither of the brothers spoke. The seconds passed into minutes before finally Kek cracked. His eyes remained glowering at the spot on the table as he spoke. "So what now?"_

_Odion didn't reply immediately, his head turning away in Kek's periphery. The blonde smirked, feeling more confident. "Not enough evidence, huh?"_

"…  _Just because we lack evidence doesn't change what happened that night."_

" _Perhaps, but it doesn't win you a case. So what now?" Kek hadn't cared if he were found guilty or not. It was barely a passing thought. He had only wanted to escape the abuse. He had. He didn't give a fuck what happened next._

" _Well, there's still the charge for aggravated assault. Don't worry – we have evidence for that one. But perhaps we can end this nightmare for all parties quickly."_

_Kek felt his eye twitch in irritation. How quickly had he gone from being their brother to being their enemy in a single night. Apparently self-defense was no reason for their father to be dead. Still, this whole affair was dragging on longer than Kek cared for it to. Being around his siblings was pissing him off more and more each day. "What the hell are you planning?"_

_Odion leaned back, still ever calm and composed. Nothing ever seemed to rattle him. "We'll drop the charges if you leave. Consider it a self-imposed restraining order. You leave the rest of us alone and we'll call it a day in court."_

_Kek's head snapped up, the smirk gone from his face as a scowl quickly replaced it. His lavender eyes locked with his elder brother. Odion met his gaze unflinching. This proposal disgusted and relieved Kek at the same time, though he couldn't figure out the second reason. "The fuck? You're going to kick me out?"_

" _We're not kicking you out. We're giving you the option to leave or we'll press charges. The choice is still yours." The fact that Odion was still unruffled by all this pissed off Kek further. He slammed his fist down on the table, trying to get some sort of reaction._

" _The fuck it's not! That's not a damn choice! Why are you so desperate to get rid of me?" Kek had expected Odion to try defusing the situation and divert the topic. He hadn't expected a swift and concise response._

" _Because we're afraid you might try to hurt one of us. Specifically Marik. I'm not going to take that chance."_

_In that moment, Kek finally realized what happened. He noticed the way Odion looked at him, not as his brother but as a stranger. After all the happened, when Kek finally decided to do something, he was the enemy. When his brother and sister failed him, Kek made a choice for himself. To save himself. To save his family._

_And now, this was his thanks._

_Kek stood up abruptly, kicking back his chair as he stormed towards the exit. "Fine. I don't give a shit about you fuckheads. I'll be gone by tonight."_

* * *

Kek blinked his eyes open, breaking himself out of his daydream. He glanced around a fairly busy movie theatre. They were away in a corner, as Kek waited for Ryou to come out of the bathroom. He had met the albino after his shift ended at the café and Ryou wanted to at least change out of his work clothes.

Kek hadn't gotten much sleep the last few days. The conversation he had with Ryou had his mind spinning as he thought more frequently on his broken past. Why it consumed him remained unanswered, though he suspected it related to his habit of running away from his issues rather than dealing with them.

He and Ryou hadn't talked about their earlier discussion. The two went about their lives as if it never happened, though Kek knew better than to think this was the last of their conversation. This whole thing would likely blow up in his face again if he didn't address it soon. Avoiding problems and potential headaches had been Kek's specialty for years after all.

It all came down to one simple issue – what did Kek want to do with his life? He had been feeling as if he were stuck in a rut not too long ago. That prompted Kek to go out on Ryou on a date. As each day passed, Kek desired more, but he didn't know what that "more" was. It was easy for him to fall back into the old pattern of things.

But these old habits weren't what made him happy. Ryou made him happy.

_So what needs to change now?_

Kek was distracted from his thoughts as he felt Ryou take his hand. He glanced over at the albino exiting the restroom, now changed into casual clothing for their movie. Kek gave a light smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Popcorn then?"

Ryou nodded in agreement as the two made their way to concessions. It was a bit odd that Ryou wasn't speaking, but then again, both of them had been rather reflective these past few days. When he didn't respond as to what he wanted, Kek decided to get them a large popcorn and two slurpies. As he grabbed their food and started walking towards their theater, Ryou finally spoke.

"Hey Kek… does your family still live around Domino?"

Kek stopped walking, feeling like a cornered animal. He had a bad feeling in his gut at that question. He turned his head slightly to glance at Ryou in his periphery. "… They do. Why?"

Ryou stood next to Kek, brows furrowed. "I think I saw your brother today at work. Or at least, another Egyptian who looked extraordinarily like you. Does your twin also have blond hair and lavender eyes?"

Kek felt his chest clenching up with unspoken emotions. He swallowed as he hardened his expression. "If he looks like a calmer, better-put-together version of myself, then yeah, you probably saw Marik."

Ryou nodded, but didn't say anything. Kek could sense that he wanted to ask more questions, but decided against it. He was glad for that. It was difficult enough trying to figure out his life without these haunting reminders of his past. The last few nights had been nothing but bitter memories of his past, each more unpleasant than the next.

The two made their way to their seats, their conversation easing into light commentary of the movie trailers showing beforehand. Kek allowed Ryou to distract him from the growing storm in his mind. Eventually, all of these constant dilemmas would break him and who knew what Kek would do. If his past was any reflection, it was probably be a violent reaction.

Just as the lights dimmed, Kek swore as he felt his cell phone buzzing. He rolled his eyes, passing the popcorn to Ryou before stepping outside of the movie theater. He would've answered it in the room had it not been for the reprimanding glare from his boyfriend.  _Good to know that he has me under his leash. Fucking hell._

Kek knew the number looked familiar. There were only a small number of people who had his number, and since the caller couldn't be Ryou, it probably was someone Kek couldn't stand. Deciding on his usual greeting, he answered the call. "What the fuck do you want?"

" _I'm sorry, did I interrupt you on a date? Or should I tell Dartz to call you back at a later time?"_

"Yeah, you fucking did, jackass. And tell Dartz he can suck my-" Akefia's raucous laughter over the phone cut him off.  _Of all the times he has to fucking call._

" _Sorry, but if you want to deliver that message to Dartz, you'll have to do it yourself. I'm done being a messenger boy. I'll text you his number so you can tell him personally to perform a blow job on you. Please let me know how that goes over."_

Despite Kek's initial reaction of wanting to punch Akefia in the face, he was distracted by an implication in the message. "What the hell are you planning?"

The chuckle over the phone, though light, seemed almost sinister. " _No need to be paranoid. I'm ditching Dartz. I'm done with his bullshit. You're only around long enough to not piss him off nowadays and frankly, his crew is dull. I'm off to bigger and better things. Let me know when you get sick of Dartz too – I think I can find you something worth your time."_

The revelation of this news shocked Kek more than it irritated him. Akefia was finally following through on these threats. It was almost ironic that now of all times this changed occurred. And Kek couldn't help but be a little curious. Akefia could've left ages ago, but something in the tone of Akefia's voice made Kek curious. It was less that he was leaving and more that he was moving on, but to what was the question.

Regardless, Kek couldn't just stand her like a mute idiot. Akefia would find some way to rag on him more. "And I think I can find better ways to spend my time than listen to your obnoxious ravings. Now fuck off – I've got a movie to catch."

" _Oh, you and your little boy-toy. How adorable. Let me know when you outgrow him and Dartz. You know where to find me."_

Kek caught the condescending note if Akefia's voice, but instead opted to hang up. He didn't give a fuck what that bastard thought about him and Ryou. However, Kek did realize that reckoning was coming. He had to figure out what to do about Dartz and his affiliation with him. He had an idea what he wanted to do, but acting on that instinct was harder than he initially thought.

Kek shook his head, entering the theater as he shuffled back next to Ryou. Though his eyes were fixed on the screen, his mind was busy making plans for the night.

* * *

Kek glanced up at the night sky, the spring air still rather chilly in the dark. The moon gazed back down at him, illuminating the city below. It had been awhile since Kek last saw Dartz. He would occasionally drop in when he needed the cash, but he found himself subconsciously pulling away these last few weeks. It was strange how foreign these familiar streets felt at night to him now.

Kek was going over his initial thoughts and words, trying to prepare himself for how he would face Dartz. With no Akefia there to act as a buffer and defuse the tension, it would be up to Kek to keep his composure and face his giants. Despite how small these giants really were.

Time flew by too quickly, his body quickly traversing these old grounds. All too soon, Kek stepped into the pub, quickly spotting Dartz and his posse scattered about. Dartz stood by the bar, chatting lightly to someone that Kek didn't recognize, likely a new member. He spotted Alister, Valon and Rafael by a pool table. The sight was so familiar, and yet Kek felt his palms grow slick with sweat.

He was only trying to convince himself that he wasn't nervous when Dartz noticed his entrance. "And the prodigal son returns! Where've you been, Kek? Care to tell the rest of the class what's been keeping you so busy lately?"

Kek blinked almost surprised by the question. The rest of Dartz's entourage glanced up, noticing the Egyptian staring around the room. Aside from a certain albino missing from the room, the set-up looked normal. It was the same shtick they'd been doing for ages. Night after night, the same routine.

It was time to break that routine.

Kek started to chuckle, softly to himself. He couldn't hold back the soft noise as his laughter grew. Dartz started in surprise, somewhat bewildered by Kek's behavior. Before the gang leader could gather himself, Kek finally snapped, his laughter growing until it became an insane cackle. The noise in the pub filtered away as Kek's manic laugh filled the room.

Dartz finally jerked himself away from his stupor, his anger flaring up. "What the hell, Kek? What's so damned funny?"

It took a while longer before Kek composed himself, stifling a few last snickers. He smirked at Dartz, who despite how he held himself, had suddenly become so small in his eyes. "Oh nothing. I just realized how much fucking time I wasted with you shitheads."

Dartz narrowed his eyes in what was supposed to be threatening, but appeared almost silly in nature. "I'd watch what you say, Kek. You hardly want to test our tempers here."

Kek studied Dartz, detached in his manner. It was strange how little effect he had over Kek. He couldn't anger him nor intimidate him. Dartz was nothing to him now. There was no reason to stay. "I'm not testing anyone. I'm telling you that I'm going to pull an Akefia and piss off for good. Sayonara. I'm done. So long and good night, you fuckers."

Kek grinned at the red complexion growing over Dartz's face. He saw his other cronies getting riled and irritated by his words. So often, Kek felt out of control of his own temper. Here, it was strange how completely in control he felt over the whole situation. He didn't feel like he was even there, but rather he was observing this stranger face off against the gang. And yet whatever possessed him to do this was someone that Kek was growing rather fond of.

Despite his elated confidence, Kek was aware that Rafael and Valon now moved towards the door, now cutting off his exit. He didn't miss the way the gang slowly moved from their positions, as if to surround him. If pattern recognition was anything to go by, Kek knew that he wasn't going to get out of here without a fight.

_I'll have to make it count then._

Dartz recomposed him, though not as swiftly as before. He glanced around the room before finally smiling. He took a step forward, as if to speak to Kek. That's when the first blow came. It caught Kek off guard, a sharp pain at the back of his head. He staggered forward, blinking away the stars in his vision. He didn't have time to react as he saw a knee slam its way into his face.

Kek stumbled back, slamming against the bar. He tasted blood on his lip, knowing that his assailant had definitely split open his lip. He glared up at Alister, who had an angry look on his face. "That's for breaking my nose, you jackass!"

Despite himself, Kek smirked, chuckling to himself. The sight enraged Alister further, who rushed forward. Kek saw the move coming easily, sidestepping him and using his own momentum to yank him towards the bar. Alister swore, realizing his mistake as he crashed over the wooden counter, glass shattering and beer dripped to the floor.

Kek didn't let himself the luxury to relax. He was aware of the other danger in the room still looming. Yes, there were several other gang members eager to pummel him, but Kek had to keep his eye on the prize. If he wanted to get out of here with a relatively low number of injuries, he would have to go for the jugular.

Kek darted forward, not wasting any time. He slammed past Weevil and Rex, whose stature posed no threat to Kek. This proved foolish as Kek missed the flash of silver. He hissed as he felt a blade slice in his leg, refusing to slow down. Adrenaline pumping, he moved towards Rafael. The blonde man was ready, swinging as Kek approached. He smirked as he twisted to the side, quickly jabbing at his gut.

Rafael grunted, caught off guard. Kek didn't waste time, instead shoving him to the ground. Before he could move forward, he felt a sharp kick against his knife wound. He snapped his head around only to be met by a fist swinging. Kek staggered at the blow, his left eye now throbbing and swollen. This only fueled Kek's anger.

Kek snapped his arm around, his hand fisting his attacker's shirt. Valon swore as he suddenly lifted up, a shocked look on his face. Kek caught something moving in his periphery and acting on instinct, flung Valon like a ragdoll towards the redhead approaching him. The two toppled to the floor, groaning all the way.

Kek was aware that he was running short on time. He snapped his head around, one eye glinting while the other swollen, now honing in on his target. He rushed forward, Dartz suddenly growing panic. In a desperate attempt in defense, Dartz reached to grab for a weapon, but Kek was quicker. He caught Dartz's wrist before he could pull out the gun hidden in his waistband. Kek yanked further, forcing Dartz to let go. Kek then pulled his knife, deciding now to finally to pull his weapon.

All movement in the bar stopped as all eyes focused on Kek, who held Dartz at knifepoint. Kek didn't let himself relax. He had gotten this far. Time to make his exit. He put on a cocky smile, though he suspected it lost its effect due to his bruised and bleeding face. "Now that I have your attention, I'll try to make this simple and easy. I'm fucking leaving. You all can suck my dick. And if you're wise, you'll drop it now. Isn't that right Dartz?"

Kek glanced over at Dartz when he refused to speak. He knew that the gang wouldn't listen to Kek unless Dartz ordered it. That was the price with working with sheep. He pressed the flat of the knife against Dartz's neck, a cold reminder of what was at stake. He felt his hostage flinch involuntary.

"Call them off. Now." Kek growled softly for only Dartz to hear. He felt Dartz struggle lightly, causing his blade to leave a light crease against his throat.

"… You wouldn't." Dartz hissed back, an almost desperate tone to his voice.

Kek just laughed at the accusation. Apparently Dartz didn't know jack shit. "Oh really? I murdered my own father, dickwad. I've killed for far less. And I know exactly where to find you. You wouldn't want to test my temper here, now would you?"

Dartz snapped his head back, frustrated by his own words being thrown back into his face. But Kek caught the other gleam in his eyes, a more desperate and basic instinct. Fear. Kek was good at instilling fear in others. It had been so long since he had done it. The rush it gave him was enough to get him through. It was enough to get him out of here.

Dartz finally caved, his expression bitter. "Let him go."

Initially no one moved. It was only after Dartz barked the order again did they finally move, like statues finally given life again. There was an almost lost look to their faces, a shared sense of bewilderment at the scenario at hand. Once Kek watched all of them step away and put any weapons aside, he finally moved, taking his hostage with him.

"That's more like it." He growled, slowly exhaling as he finally saw his out. He didn't let Dartz go until he was by the door, shoving him away before walking outside. The cool night air greeted him, baptizing him. He breathed in the crisp fresh air, free of cigarette smoke and alcohol. His body started to relax, the adrenaline rush making him feel like he was stuck on some high that he was slowly coming down from.

_It's over. I'm done._

It was strange how difficult moving on with this part of his life was. He had struggled to make sense of what direction to go. It became a matter of not running away but rather leaving. What purpose or drive did he have? Kek found it easier to just avoid that question, content in his complacency. But content wasn't happy. Kek had never been happy. He had merely gotten by in life.

But Ryou reminded him that he could make so much more of life. That life could be much more than dealing with the mundane. A night that Kek would have seen as dark and dreary before had never seemed so clear and luminous as it was tonight. For once, Kek didn't want to settle for what he had in life. He wanted out from his miserable existence.

Kek realized that any direction forward was better than staying where he was.

He smiled to himself, ignoring the pain blistering throughout his body. He could address his wounds later, but for now, he would revel in the new path he was forging for himself.e he


	17. Chapter 17

After the confrontation, Kek couldn't rest. He felt too antsy, both tense and relieved from finally telling Dartz to piss off. He wandered the streets of Domino, a traveler who could not rest. He had left behind this last vestige of his life, but to what future, he still didn't know.

It was as Kek trekked mindlessly for hours did he find himself traveling the rather familiar paths in his life. It was only as the sun started to break the horizon, the last traces of the night fleeing, did he realize how late it had become. He glanced up at the rose-colored sky, a remarkable hue covering the city. He had never been up so early to see the sun rise, and there was something about it now that made him feel as if he were seeing it for the first time.

The sound of something falling caught Kek's ear. He glanced over, noticing a truck backed behind a store. Kek quickly recognized the shop in question, a small grin on his face as he peeked around the corner. He spotted a familiar brunette struggling with some large boxes from god knows where. "Need a hand?"

Honda swore, jumping at the sound. He glanced behind, a puzzled look on his face. "Kek? What the hell happened to your face?"

Though Kek hadn't forgotten about his own injuries, they felt dull and distant. He was no stranger to pain after all – it was barely noteworthy in his life. "I picked a fight with some unpleasant jackasses. I won. Need help unloading those boxes?"

Honda seemed to debate pushing the whole fight and injuries, but decided to accept the excuses. Something about his expression made Kek wonder if this was a familiar story in Honda's life. "I wouldn't mind the help actually. My siblings don't ever do jack shit around this shop anyway."

Kek snorted, but didn't remark, taking the box that Honda had been struggling with. The two didn't talk much, focusing more on unloading the truck. Half an hour later, Kek stacked the last container of some sort of American seasoning sauce. He walked back out, Honda sitting in the bed of the truck with a six-pack. "I believe some thanks is in order. I hope this will do."

Kek chuckled. It was only seven am, but then again, Kek never had any qualms with drinking in the morning before. He cracked open one of the beers, offering a drink to Honda. He just chuckled, grabbing one of the beers. "I'm supposed to open the shop in a couple of hours, but why the hell not? What's my old man going to do, fire me?"

The two sat in the truck, not really speaking. It was hard to describe, but Kek enjoyed this strange bonding moment. It was both so different and so similar to hanging out with Dartz and his crew, grabbing drinks. But he never felt any kinship or true connection with any of the individuals, only a mutual sense of disgust and frustration in the world.

Kek and Honda watched the sunrise cast shadows against the back of the shop, the red bleeding into the brick. The blonde was about half way through his beer when Honda started to speak. "You know, back when I was a teenager, I was a real shithead. Me and an old buddy were caught up in some gang and were real punks, you know?"

Kek raised an eyebrow, glancing over the shopkeeper. He hadn't pegged him as criminal material, but then again, appearances could be deceiving. Kek's earlier suspicion that Honda was familiar with fighting was confirmed. Though the fact that he was also previously in a gang was news to him. Not surprising, but still news.

Honda took another sip of drink, leaning back. "We ended up going clean. Well, Jounouchi went clean and then I followed after. He said he wanted to go the straight and narrow. All thanks to some dweeby kid at our school. I thought he was just toying with me and trying to pull a prank. But then I forgot which friend this was and that he was incapable of pulling off a ruse if his life depended on it."

Honda just sighed leaning back. "It was rough, but it was only after we got out that I realized so much shit about my life. It was like taking a step back and realizing everything about myself and all that was possible. That always took me back. But it was like I had taken off the sun visor and realized there was still sunlight. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that's as much as I can make of it.

Honda raised his bottle back before pausing briefly in thought. "And for what it's worth, I'm glad I had people who dealt with me during those days, you know? I was a real jackass back then and the fact that some of my friends stuck with me until I got out of that phase speaks a lot about their character."

Kek chuckled, finishing off his drink. "You seem to imply you stopped being a jackass."

"Piss off. I give you beer and this is how you thank me?"

"That was to pay me for helping you unload."

"Well, now I know you're going to be an asshole after the fact. Not sure why I held my breath on that." Honda placed his empty beer bottle next to Kek's, shaking his head in exasperation. Though this was all still new to him, he found himself slowly going through the motions. Like an old forgot memory, he was figuring out how to connect with people.

It was a relic of himself that he had forgotten ever existed.

The two fell back into a comfortable silence, Kek studying the cut on his leg. He knew he probably should have taken a look at his wounds sooner, but nothing felt broken. Honda, once again, broke the silence. "Hey, I never asked you, but what do you do for a living?"

Despite the well-meaning question, Kek just laughed at the irony. For once, he could reply back candidly. "As of last night, I'm unemployed so to speak."

Honda smirked at the remark, nodding to himself. "Want a job?"

"So long as its legal."

Honda laughed out loud, grabbing the two empty bottles. "Glad to see you set the bar low. Nah, my dad just mentioned how he needed some extra hands at his restaurant. If you don't mind doing dishes, I think I can set you up with something."

It took Kek a moment to realize that Honda was being serious. He blinked, rather surprised by the kind act. "… Wait, seriously?"

Honda looked bemused by Kek's astonishment. "You said you needed a job. My dad's hiring. Seems like a match made in heaven if you ask me. So are you interested?"

Kek blinked a few times, trying to see if he actually awake. He must have fallen asleep in the park, exhausted from the night. But he wasn't asleep. He was sitting in the truck bed, next to his possible friend, being offered a job.  _Shit, is this real?_

Honda mistook Kek's silence as a refusal. He got up out of the truck to put away the glass bottles. "Hey, if that's not your thing, don't worry. I think I could see if anyone else I know is hiring at their job."

Kek quickly found himself. "No, I'll take the job! I'm just… surprised is all… I'm… not used to this sort of thing." He cut himself off, not entirely how to describe this "thing" to his companion. How could he explain that he expects the worst from people? That he so often was on the receiving end of all the bad shit in life that it was only natural to assume that only bad things would continue to happen to him. That the idea of his luck changing at all was so foreign.

Honda accepted the answer without prying, tossing the glass into a recycling bin. "Hey, I've been there too. It sucks trying to get back on your feet right after you lose a job. It's only because people helped me that I got through it. I'm just paying it forward, you know?"

Kek didn't react for a moment before chuckling. Paying it forward. Despite all the bad that happened, a little good act to give to someone you may never meet. Could that actually work? Could Kek actually change his bad karma? Perhaps he couldn't alone, but his world had been changing ever since he met Ryou.

Kek smiled, feeling more confident and hopeful than he had in days. "Well, I appreciate it nonetheless. Count me in."

* * *

The rest of the morning went by in a blur. Honda called his dad, catching him just as he was heading into the restaurant to work through paperwork. Kek had figured he would have to wait a few days before he got results, but a couple hours later, he was shaking Mr. Hiroto's hand, promising to be there first thing tomorrow morning

By the time Kek finally managed to make his way back to his apartment, his lack of sleep finally caught up with him. He didn't bother changing out of his clothes before collapsing on the couch, quickly falling asleep. It wasn't until the sun started to set that Kek realized he had slept the entire day. He was practical nocturnal by this point anyway.

He rolled over groggily as he recovered from his catnap, glancing at his phone. It was just after seven. He didn't really feel as if he got any sleep.  _I have no idea how Ryou does it all the time._  The thought of his boyfriend jolted Kek awake. He had been so tired, he forgot to tell Ryou the good news.

Kek searched around for his phone, scowling as he saw the missed texts and calls from Ryou. His sudden disappearance and lack of communication had apparently worried the albino, as he hesitantly asked if everything was okay in his reserved yet snarky way. He quickly started typing his reply.  _"Hey, I'm fine. Sorry I missed your texts. I had a late night."_

Five minutes later, Kek got a response back.  _"I thought you fell off the edge of the earth there. Everything okay?"_

Kek chuckled. Things were fantastic, all things considered.  _"I'm fine. I actually have some good news. You home right now?"_

" _Work :P I get out at 1. Talk then?"_

Kek smirked at himself, shaking his head. He had to be at the restaurant tomorrow morning. Despite that, he didn't want to put this off any longer. He wanted to see Ryou's reaction when he told him about his job offer.  _"1 it is. I'll meet you at the bar."_

Kek didn't get any more responses, so he suspected Ryou had to get back to work. That was fine. It would give him time to rest up and take a shower. He felt grimy and gross, the faint scent of cigarettes still sticking to his clothes. He wandered to the bathroom to take a shower, the water almost scalding against his scars.

Despite how sore and tired Kek felt physically, he felt refreshed. He felt like he had been reborn, given a new chance at life. For so long, he had been locked in his ways, unable to escape the vicious cycle that was his pathetic life. Even when he started taking the initiative and make these small changes in his life, he didn't expect it to last. Like a pebble thrown into a river, the ripple would disappear with the current.

Perhaps this wasn't the baptism he would have expected as he felt the burning water sear at his scars, his bruises and cuts stinging in the heat. It was less of a baptism by water, but rather by fire. But that's how it always was in his life. Things never happened conventionally. Change occurred in small bits and pieces, inching him forward until he finally took the leap forward.

As Kek stepped out of the shower, his scars felt raw and fresh, as if he were a child again, having first received these wounds. Though Kek was aware of his other injuries, he took the time to treat his scars. Every so often, his back would feel tight and tense, and he would often have to massage away the strain. Kek smoothed the lotion against his back, allowing himself to take the time to carefully tend to his old wounds.

After Kek dressed, he struggled to kill time for the next few hours. He realized showering had been a dumb idea, as he now felt rather alert. He eventually made some food and organized his pantry, trying to do something to kill tonight. Eventually, Kek couldn't wait any longer and he decided to make his way out. It was half past midnight and by the time he got there, it would likely be close to the end of Ryou's shift.

Kek smirked as he glanced back up at the night sky, a familiar sight. The moon was gone as the clouds casted a gray shadow on the city. It was strange how much had changed since last night. Kek felt a sting in his leg, the knife wound still rather fresh. He was aware that his face was bruised and his split lip irritated him to no end. Regardless, these were small sacrifices for the larger victory in his life.

Kek saw the bar come into sight. He knew that Ryou didn't like to exit by the front, where some of the patrons often waited. Despite the club having a strict "look, don't touch" policy with their employees, that still hasn't prevented some of the more daring customers to push their luck. Even with the bouncers around, Ryou preferred to avoid the hassle and exit out the back.

Just as Kek approached the back alley, he heard an all too familiar voice. He could hear Ryou, but by the sounds of it, he wasn't too happy. As he listened, the pieces suddenly came together as to whom exactly he was talking to.

"Fuck off. Don't make me call security."

"No need to be so gauche. I just wanted to chat. You're always so high-strung."

"No thanks to you. Now piss off, you jackass."

"Touchy, touchy. I figured you having a boyfriend again would get you to stop acting so prudish all the time. Is it exhausting being this agitated all the time?"

"I'm not fucking agitated, I'm pissed that you're still here. For the last time, leave me the fuck alone."

Kek turned the corner, hearing the two argue over the muted club music playing from inside. He wasn't entirely sure if his ears had been playing tricks on him, but as he spotted Ryou glaring angrily at another albino, there was no question. How he hadn't pieced it together sooner was beyond him. He stormed up the alley, his temper getting the better of him.

"The fuck are you doing here?" Kek snapped. The pair snapped their heads up, startled out of their conversation. Ryou looked shocked, alarmed by Kek's appearance. His ex-boyfriend refused to let his surprise show, instead settling for a smirk. "You look like shit. What the hell happened to you?"

A protective instinct flared up in Kek, his lavender eyes glaring at steely gray eyes. "Not your fucking business. Why the fuck are you harassing my boyfriend, Akefia?"

Kek placed himself in front of Ryou, his fists clenched. Acting as a human shield, he glared down at the shorter man, resisting the urge to clock the cocky albino in the face. As much as he would  _love_  to do that, he promised Ryou that he would behave should he ever meet his dickhead of a boyfriend. Well. Now they met. So Kek would behave.

So long as Akefia wasn't too annoying.

The albino in question just grinned, an amused look on his face. "I heard an interesting rumor that you're dating my ex. I just had to hear more. It's quite serendipitous that I should know you both. I figured I should seize the opportunity."

Ryou's warning to behave himself was becoming increasingly difficult to follow. Aware that Ryou was watching and moving to make himself part of the conversation, eyes cautiously watching the two of them, Kek decided to at least lay down a framework to deal with. He snatched Akefia by the collar of his shirt, Akefia still smirking the whole way.

"Listen, you abusive fucking prick, you can do whatever shit you want to me. I can deal with your dumb ass any day. But if you so much as look in Ryou's direction, I swear to god I'll choke the life out of you."

Akefia chuckled, though Kek sensed that his façade was starting to slip. "Oh really? That seems rather extreme, even for you."

Kek realized what Akefia was doing. For once, Kek could see through his game. Even now, he was always playing angle. And Akefia intended to use what he thought was Kek's weakness against.  _Well joke's on him. Ryou already knows how fucked up I am._  Kek grinned, his dark features twisting into an almost ghoulish appearance.

"Bitch, you're the second person to second guess me on that. Why on earth people think I'm some pacifist at heart is beyond me. I've already killed my old man. I wouldn't bat an eye putting you out of your miserable existence."

The confession startled Akefia, his eyes flicking away towards Ryou. Kek didn't bother glancing over at Ryou – he would deal with the repercussions of his actions later. He noticed the alarm in Akefia's expression, his confidence shaken. For once, it felt good to have finally played Akefia at his own game.

Akefia caught himself, his expression darkening. Despite the angry expression, Akefia resigned himself, not risking the fight now. Although Akefia was a cunning manipulator, Kek would not be a pawn anymore. He was cutting off ties here and now. Everything of his old, bitter life would die here and now. Akefia was the last remnant of it.

Kek finally let go of Akefia's shirt, shoving him away for good measure. He finally glanced over at Ryou. He didn't seem any worse for the wear, though Kek could tell that Ryou was both relieved and annoyed by Kek's behavior. As far as he was concerned, Akefia was still alive, which was as good of behavior as Kek could manage.

Kek reached out to hold Ryou's hand, the albino relenting. The two were walking away, Kek almost sure that they would finally get away without a physical altercation. But he forgot that Akefia was a jackass and didn't know how to keep his mouth fucking shut. They had just passed Akefia when he spat out his last insult, a throwaway line. "Hope your face doesn't scar up, jackass."

Kek almost let the comment go. He almost decided to be the bigger person. He knew Akefia's last jab was at him, referring to his scarred back that Akefia had somehow learned about. But he had promised Ryou to behave. He promised not to attack Akefia, despite whatever dickish things he said. Kek had to keep that promise.

So he was pleasantly surprised when Ryou tore away to punch Akefia.

Kek had snapped back in confusion as he felt Ryou tug away. He had initially thought Akefia was picking a fight. It was only as he saw the jackass in question fall backwards against the dumpster did Kek finalize realize what happened. Akefia's confidence had all but disappeared, Ryou's punch breaking through the disguise. Kek blinked with stunned amazement at his boyfriend, who now shook out his fist.

"Shut your fucking mouth or I'll give you a scar to remember me by!" Ryou yelled, more livid than Kek had ever seen. If it weren't for the fact that the situation was dead serious, Kek would have been cackling with glee. The shocked look on Akefia's face as he cradled his bruised cheek made the moment even sweeter.

Still, this wasn't right. Despite how much fun it was to watch this, Kek knew that this wasn't Ryou. Kek was the violent jackass who was overly protective. And as much as he loved how Ryou fought to protect him and his honor, he didn't want Ryou to lose his job because of him. He grabbed Ryou, pulling him away from Akefia to face him instead. He rested a hand on Ryou's shoulder to gradually draw him, his other hand gently tracing down the pale cheek.

"Hey, forget him. Let's go." Kek whispered, trying to calm Ryou. It was a strange role reversal indeed. But at the same time, he couldn't blame Ryou for his reaction. After the hell Akefia had put him through, Kek was honestly amazed he had put up with his bullshit for as long as he did.

The pair left the alleyway, Ryou leading Kek. He wasn't entirely sure where they were headed, but he sensed it would be wise to let Ryou do as he pleased. He certainly didn't look happy. Eventually the two ended up in a park before Ryou let go of Kek's hand. He stood back as he watched the albino pace around, hands running through his hair.

Kek raised an eyebrow as he watched Ryou kick at a bush in frustration. This was the most visibly distressed he had seen Ryou. He decided to interrupt this tantrum as he saw Ryou punch a tree. He stepped forward, taking Ryou's hand in his. The albino jerked his head back, as if realizing Kek was still there. Kek quickly checked Ryou's hand, the skin not yet broken.

"Need to scream?" Kek asked, eyes flicking up to meet dark brown eyes.

Ryou just shook his head, catching his breath as he glared at the ground blankly. He pulled his hand away, clenching his fists again. "I don't think so. Just pissed. God I fucking hate him."

Kek snorted, glancing back to where the bar was hidden away. "I don't blame you. It's a royal pain in the ass."

Ryou nodded his head, his mind still distracted. He glanced away, still trying to vent out his anger. "You know him?"

It took a moment for Kek to catch on. "Similar work occupations, so to speak." He sighed, disliking his past association with the bastard even more.

Ryou accepted the answer, his shoulders sagging with exhaustion. He stepped towards Kek, anger fading as concern took its place. "What the hell happened to you face? Did you get into a fight?"

Kek tried not to flinch away as Ryou gently brushed his fingers past his cut lip. Despite the sting, a smile grew on his face. "Actually, that's the good news you go into earlier?"

Ryou blinked, almost in disbelief. He finally sighed, glancing away, a snarky note slipping back into his voice. "I hardly see why you winning a fight in noteworthy. No offense, but with your physique, I should be betting on you in the ring."

Kek chuckled, grabbing Ryou's hand in front of him. "Well, you're not entirely wrong. Yeah, I got in a fight, but I also got a job. A real one."

That brought a surprised look on Ryou's face. "Wait, seriously?"

The grin on Kek's face grew wider. "Yeah, I just spoke to my boss today. I'm starting tomorrow… or I guess this morning. It's only washing dishes, but that's pretty damn good, considering it's me we're talking about." He gestured to the bruises on his face. "I guess you could say this was my resignation letter for my old job."

Ryou stared for a bit longer before a smile broke out across his face. He started to chuckle, a soft laugh. After a moment, he couldn't hold back, the silent air ringing with his laughter. Kek wasn't entirely sure why, but he started to laugh too. He felt strangely elated, Ryou's energy almost infectious in nature. Their maniacal laughs broke the still, night air, defiant and proud.

Ryou pulled Kek into a hug, nuzzling his face into his copper-toned neck. Kek chuckled, running his hand through the downy white hair that tickled his nose. Ryou finally caught his breath, resting his forehead against Kek. His dark eyes swam with a kaleidoscope of emotion, a tender smile on his face. "You're fucking amazing, you know that?"

Despite the wording, the soft, tender tone spoke volumes of what Ryou meant by those words. Those words felt like an  _I love you._  Perhaps it was their way of saying it, being the sarcastic assholes they were. Kek struggled to find a way to say the implied words back, but found himself stumbling back into old habits. He raised a hand to trace his fingers down to the base of Ryou's neck. "You could stand to mention it a bit more often."

Ryou giggled, a large grin on his face. "Tell you what – how about I tell it to you every morning we wake up together and every night we go to bed together?"

Kek smirked, brushing his lips against Ryou's as he whispered. "I like the sound of that. So apartment hunting?"

Ryou finally leaned it, his lips melding into Kek's. Kek watched how Ryou's cheeks blushed, the rosy complexion barely visible in the night sky. Ryou's smirk looked more amorous than snarky with the red burning on his cheeks. "Apartment hunting. I want to find our new home now."

Kek snorted, rolling his eyes. "At one in the morning?"

"Can you think of anything better to do right now?"

"Probably get some sleep before work tomorrow."

"Stop being so damn reasonable and humor me!"

Kek chuckled, unable to argue back against his boyfriend. He would probably regret it in the morning, but for now, he would walk with Ryou, talking about their future together.


	18. Chapter 18

Kek felt Ryou's nails raking across his back, the pale digits scraping over his scars. The sensation sent a thrill down his spine. He grabbed a fistful of white hair, turning Ryou's head to the side so he had better access to his swan-like neck. The throaty moans and groans emitting from his pale lover went straight to Kek's groin.

Kek had Ryou pressed against the wall, their shirtless torsos pressed against each other. He let his hands slip down past Ryou's waist, groping and squeezing his ass. Ryou jerked at the sensation, bringing their clothed erections brushing past each other. Kek bit back a wanton groan, the pressure aphrodisiacal.

Finally, Kek couldn't wait any longer. His hand let go of Ryou's hair as they went down to release his boyfriend from the confines of his jeans. Ryou seemed to have the same idea as he hastily fumbled with the buttons to remove the rest of his clothes. Kek smirked, amused that Ryou was just as impatient as him.

As soon as Ryou rid himself of his pants, he grinned as he returned the favor. Kek shuffled away, giving himself enough space to maneuver out of his clothes. Once they were both naked, Kek slammed Ryou back against the wall, their lips locked. Their tongues fought for dominance as Kek wordlessly guided Ryou. Eventually he got the message, Kek lifting up Ryou as the albino wrapped his legs around him.

Kek broke away from his kissing, quickly placing out three fingers for Ryou to take. The albino quickly obliged, his eyes locked with Kek as he sucked on the digits. Once Kek had determined them to be slick enough, he pulled away, trying to not think about the popping noise as Ryou released his digits. His burning red face and shining lips made Kek grow even harder.

Kek returned to kissing Ryou, his lips burning and swollen from their passionate onslaught. He brought his slick fingers down, starting with two digits. Ryou broke away from the kiss, a choked gasp escaping as he tipped his head back. Kek went back to Ryou's neck, licking and nibbling and kissing him in all the ways that made Ryou beg and plead for more.

Eventually Kek added a third until he couldn't wait any longer. He tried to be considerate towards Ryou as it had been awhile since the albino bottomed (thanks to Kek's shitty luck with their bets). However, Ryou's moans and gasps had Kek quickly unraveling. He knew his endurance wouldn't last with the desperate way Ryou clung to him and cried out his name.

Kek lifted Ryou a bit higher, using one hand to support Ryou pushed up against the wall and another to guide his aching erection. As he entered, he felt Ryou's fingers dig into his scars yet again, his own low, soft moans mixing in with Ryou. Kek felt lightheaded as he felt Ryou's warmth clenching around his manhood.

Kek kept still as he let Ryou adjust; however he underestimated his eagerness. He felt Ryou hitch up against Kek, biting at his neck. Kek growled, Ryou's teeth leaving a sudden sting only to be followed by a warm tingle of tongue and lips. The light growl slipped out from his pale lips, revealing how impatient Ryou was. Kek smirked, not wanting to disappoint.

Kek chuckled, a primal urge kicking in as he pulled out and thrusted back in. He tried to remain slow, but with Ryou clawing at his back and the way Kek had him pressed against the wall was too thrilling, too exhilarating to be kept slow. He kept speeding up, bringing himself close to climax before slowing down, relishing in the harsh gasps he could draw out from Ryou.

Kek watched as Ryou tossed his head to the side, exposing his pale neck. His dark, shiny eyes filled with lust and want were trained on him. He felt sweat trickle down his forehead, blinking away the droplets away from his own hazy, lavender eyes. Kek latched on to Ryou's neck, biting hard so that it would leave a bruise.

He felt the nails digging into his scars. He loved the sensation. Kek hadn't known that about himself, but something about the way Ryou clung to him and touched his scars made him alive. It was exhilarating in its own way. As if it had been taboo to touch them before, but now that Ryou's marked him, their power was taken away.

Kek was aware he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer, and by the sounds escaping Ryou, neither would he. He decided to move faster, pounding himself faster and harder into Ryou. He felt hot breath buffeting his face, Ryou now gasping and screaming in pleasure. He noticed that Ryou had brought a hand forward so that he could stroke himself, moving in quick, small jerks. Kek watched, relentless as he continued to thrust himself into the pale man.

Finally, Ryou cried out, his body arching as spurts of cum drizzled across their stomachs. Kek felt Ryou's muscles tighten around his own erection, the warmth and tightness of it all pushing him over the edge. Kek slammed into Ryou, hurtling himself towards his quickly approaching orgasm. The sight of dark, burning eyes holding on to him burned in his mind as he spilt into Ryou.

Kek collapsed to the floor, taking Ryou down with him. The two of them gasping for breaths, leaning into each other. Kek could feel Ryou's heart beat racing against his chest, smiling at the thought. He buried his face into the white hair, nuzzling into Ryou. His partner giggled, a tired sigh slipping past his lips. "Shit, that was good. I should let you win our bets more often."

Kek snorted, his hand gently rubbing Ryou's back as he came down from his high. "Fuck you. I won that game fair and square."

Ryou leaned back just enough so that Kek could see him smirking. "How do you I didn't throw the match in your favor? I am such a nice boyfriend after all."

Kek shook his head as he rolled his eyes, a light scowl on his face. "Christ, you're something else, you know that?"

Ryou just gave him a lazy grin, though Kek could tell that he was starting to fall asleep. Deciding to find a more comfortable place to rest, he picked Ryou up with him as he crawled towards the bed. Kek laid down on his side, pulling Ryou to face him. He felt Ryou draw on his chest, sleepily nodding off.

Kek watched him for a moment, his eyes glancing up to their nightstand. Next to a picture of Ryou and his family sat the calendar, marking the beginning of September. "Did you decide what you want for your birthday?"

Ryou just mumbled something, which Kek leaned down to hear. He nudged Ryou until he spoke again. "I just want you… and sleeeeeep…."

Kek's lips quirked up into a smirk. "As flattered as I am, I was thinking something a bit more tangible I could provide besides my body."

"Your body is a perfectly acceptable gift. I accept. Thank you."

Kek chuckled, kissing Ryou's lightly on his forehead. He rested his chin there, thinking for a moment. Now that the two were living together, gifts became both easier and harder. Living with Ryou made it easier to figure out the little things that he liked and the gestures that made him blush and sheepishly smile. However, practical matters meant that whenever they lacked something, they would just go out and buy it themselves.

Ryou sighed heavily, seemingly accepting the fact that Kek was actually pushing for an answer. He drearily opened, brown eyes focusing on the copper chest in front of him. "I don't know. Perhaps…"

Kek raised an eyebrow as Ryou trailed off. "Perhaps what?"

Ryou lowered his head, but Kek noticed the light blush growing on his face. "I was thinking… I wouldn't mind some of pictures of us to put around the apartment. You know, for decorating purposes…"

There was long pause before Kek started to snicker. It grew to a laugh as he saw Ryou scowl and punch at his chest. Kek smirked, whispered softly near Ryou's ear. "You romantic sap."

Ryou pouted, his cheeks now rosy with embarrassment instead of desire. "Fuck you. I don't give you a hard time over how much of a cuddly fuck you are."

"Yes, you goddamn do. That's the basis of our relationship. Snark and hiding how much we actually like each other."

Ryou's frown fell into a smirk, chuckling. "Shit. The secret's out. What'll we do now?"

Kek shrugged, pretending to think. "Don't know. Perhaps we act like a normal couple?"

"Sounds awful. I vote we stick to sarcastic quips and discreet gestures of romance."

Kek smiled, pulling Ryou into his chest. "Deal." He heard Ryou hum happily as he wrapped his arms around him. Kek felt sleep starting to win him over, his mind drifting as Ryou gently caressed the old scars on his back, rewriting the pain with soft brushes and tender words.

* * *

The next day, Kek ran out to do errands in the afternoon while Ryou was at work. Since his birthday was only a couple days away, Kek decided to grant Ryou's sentimental request and picked out a few pictures on his phone. Kek rarely took pictures and more often than not, if he did take pictures, it was of Ryou. There was a few times where Ryou had dragged him into the frame, grinning like an idiot while Kek merely rolled his eyes and followed along.

Kek had just printed off the pictures and was now making his way to go find picture frames. He barely paid attention where he was walking, his eyes focused on the printed photos. He wasn't sure why, but something about these photos mesmerized him. It wasn't necessarily Ryou or himself, but he felt like there was something there that he was missing. Something important as to why this mattered to him.

And that was when it hit him. This was the first picture Kek had of himself.

Kek stopped walking, almost confused by this. All things considered, he shouldn't have been surprised. When he lived on his own, he felt no need to put up pictures of his life because there was nothing in his life worth remembering. There was no one for him to take pictures with, no one to share these memories with that he would go through the effort to get these photos taken.

Kek started walking again, thinking about this. It struck him odd that he was gradually coming to this realization. Most of the decorations in their apartment were things of Ryou. Kek didn't have anything that he valued except perhaps some music. No posters, no pictures, nothing that he could bring. At the time when they moved in, Kek didn't think too hard on it. It just made the moving process easier on his end.

Yet now that he thought about, Kek wished he could offer more. He loved Ryou and the life he shared with him. He was glad he had memories that both treasured and he loved doing little things to surprise Ryou and make him happy. But he also wished that this wasn't the only time in his life worth remembering. He wanted something from his life prior, something that he could hold on to, to remember the life prior, good or bad, and the impact it had on him.

Kek didn't quite understand this nostalgia, but the thought ate away at him. Even after he finished shopping and started prepping dinner for him and Ryou, his mind couldn't shake the thought. He wasn't entirely sure what it was he wanted from his past, but he couldn't think of anything he could get now to make it whole. His life had always been a broken mess – what was there to retrieve?

Kek had been so lost in thought, he didn't hear Ryou come home. Kek was jolted out of his thoughts as he felt a pair of hands wrap around his waist. He glanced over his shoulder, Ryou peaking over with a smile. Kek hadn't realized how late it had gotten. "Hey. How's work?"

Ryou shrugged, stepping back as he stretched. "Not too bad. Whatcha making there?"

"Yakitori. Mind grabbing the kebabs?"

Ryou nodded, bringing over the plate of marinated meat and vegetables. Kek noticed how Ryou stood back, as if giving him some space. No sooner had he thought that, the question followed. "You seem distracted. Is something wrong?"

Kek chuckled, glancing over his shoulder. "Am I that easy to read?"

Ryou just smiled, leaning against the counter. Kek sighed, looking down at the pan as turned each kebab. He put down the tongs, glancing away. "I don't know what's been going on today, but I've been thinking a lot."

"That's a rarity."

"Are you going to let me talk or are you just going to be a sarcastic asshole?"

Ryou smirked. "Can't I do both?" The albino picked up on the glare Kek was giving him, raising his hands in surrender. Kek knew that Ryou wasn't trying to harass him – old habits were a bitch to break.

Kek turned to face Ryou, trying to figure out how to verbalize his thoughts. "… I guess it hit me how much of memories and possessions that I value have only been from the past few months with you. And I like that, but I feel… I don't know, nostalgic perhaps? You had your life before me, but I feel like I didn't live until I met you. So I have nothing to look back on."

Ryou blinked, almost startled by Kek's words. He opened his mouth as if to speak before pausing to think. His eyes were clouded in contemplation. In a way, Kek was glad Ryou hadn't spoken immediately. Quickly assuaging these concerns would have made Kek felt as if his concerns didn't matter.

Ryou raised a hand up, his hand running through hair as his brows furrowed. "I didn't realize you felt this way. But it makes sense. You don't have any memento or keepsake or anything from when you're a child, do you?"

Kek shook his head, his arms crossed over his chest. When he left, he only left with a duffel bag full of clothes and enough cash to survive. He hadn't taken anything with him. Looking back, it was his way of making sure he didn't remember. When he was a teenager, he thought he could shrug off his family and name as if they had been a well-worn jacket. Life was not so simple however.

Kek felt a hand rest on his arm, his boyfriend watching him with gentle eyes. He didn't speak as he waited for Ryou to continue. "… Do you want to try reclaiming anything from your past? We can definitely take a look into it."

Kek raised an eyebrow, not initially understanding what Ryou was implying. The pieces suddenly clicked as his eyes widen. He glanced away, feeling unsure. The idea of trying to dig through his past sounded very unpleasant. Kek had intentionally avoided interacting with his family, initially to drop the lawsuit, but more to distance himself. Any confrontation they had later on was at his siblings' initiative.

"I… don't think that would be a good idea. I wouldn't want to drag you into that shit show." Kek dodged, not wanting to admit the real reason was because he himself was averse to the idea.

Ryou shrugged, trying to smile but it died on his lips before it could truly form. "I've seen my fair share of bullshit. I've had problems previously trying to hold on to my momentos, but each time it was worth it."

Kek was confused by this statement, glancing over at Ryou. He just shrugged, an irritated look on his face. "Akefia didn't take my initial attempt at breaking up with him well."

Kek nodded, a grim look on his face. "Asshole. He can go to fucking hell."

"I agree. But we can ensure his damnation on a different day. We're getting off topic."

Kek chuckled but nodded, not quite responding to Ryou. The whole scenario sounded dreadfully unpleasant, but at the same time, the possibility of… well, not necessarily reconciling but coming to terms with his past sounded fucking cathartic. Perhaps there was no way to make sense of the abusive childhood, but that didn't mean he had to shove away all that was good from it.

If there was any good in it.

Kek sighed, finally looking back up to meet Ryou in the eye. "Can I think about it and get back to you with an answer?"

Ryou nodded, his white hair bouncing at the motion. "Take as much time as you need. I just want you to do whatever feels right to you. I'll support whatever choice you make."

Kek let a smile grow on his face, letting the soft, vulnerable feeling remain visible on his face. "I know. That's why you're fucking amazing. You know that, right?"

Ryou chuckled, leaning for to kiss Kek on the cheek. "You could stand to mention it more often."

* * *

As promised, Ryou gave Kek the space to think about what he wanted to do. The question became an internal war with Kek's logic. Normally it would frustrate him and piss him off, but perhaps this space and time was necessary for him to figure out what he truly wanted.

If history was any indication, Kek knew that trying to face his family to make sense of his past would be a horrible idea. They've made it quite clear that he wasn't welcomed nor would he ever be welcomed back. At the time, Kek hadn't cared – he actually was thankful for the space and sought to distance himself as much as possible.

But this separation also reminded Kek of what he lost at the same time. Bitterness was a strange beast, desensitizing him from feeling remorse or regret, blinding him to anything remotely nostalgic. However, over the years, he had forgotten that there was happy moments in his childhood. Moments that he had completely forgotten about in his own rage and brokenness.

The first time he thought his past was more than just a shit show of horrible was when he heard Ryou singing. It was a strange moment, as it surprised Kek to hear his boyfriend singing softly to himself while cleaning. This prompted a distant memory, one he had all but forgotten, of when Ishizu would sing to Marik before going to bed. Or even bittersweet, singing to Marik when he was upset or scared.

How Kek had forgotten that stunned him.

Slowly but surely, Kek started to pull away from his pain and see his own past struggle more clearly. There was a ton of awful shit that happened. There was no question about it. He would never be able to make sense of the abuse his father put him through. But he had been so close and caught up in his pain that he forgot about how his siblings suffered as well.

For years, Kek had been bitter that his family did nothing to protect him. His siblings didn't try to stop their father when he and his twin were thrown down to have their backs torn open. He couldn't understand why they wouldn't step in. They were only children and their father was cruel and hurt them. Why didn't Ishizu and Odion protect them?

Over a decade after the fact, Kek realized that was unfair for him to put that blame on his elder siblings. They were children at the time too, and they were hurting as well. They did what they could to survive just as Kek and Marik did. Kek wasn't angry with them for failing to protect him – he was angry with the father they needed protection from.

These thoughts made Kek's chest ache in a new way. Perhaps his siblings had wronged him, yes, but he certainly hadn't made their lives easier. Accident or not, the death of their father worsened the relationship. Kek had clung to his anger and hatred because it was easier to cling to those as a life preserver than come to terms with heartbreaking realization of his own brokenness and loneliness.

The idea of relinquishing his own anger and aggression regarding his siblings was a foreign concept, but one Kek considered. He couldn't forgive them for how they treated, but they weren't the ones to abuse him. They were broken and hurt like himself. None of them knew how to heal. And perhaps that was how it would always be. But Kek felt exhausted by his anger, worn down by the years of it. He wanted to let go and finally accept the weight of it.

Perhaps then, he could be freed of the pain of the Ishtar family.

Kek was walking in the park with Ryou, a brisk day in late September. The two had been walking in silence, enjoying each other's company. Kek squeezed Ryou's hand gently. Ryou turned, a curious look on his face as he met the confused lavender eyes. Kek licked his lips nervously, struggling to find the words. "… Let's. I want back my past. I want to at least try."

Kek fumbled with his words, unable to express himself like he wanted. However, Ryou understood what he was trying to say, his expression solemn. He just nodded, squeezing Kek's hand back. "All right. Let's try then."


	19. Chapter 19

"I got an order for two baked mac n' cheese and French onion soup! Table thirteen!"

"Table nine's food is ready! Potatoes are out of the oven, seven's will be up in a sec."

"I've got Haru bussing two tables right now, he'll get with you when you can!"

"Kek! Where're those burgers for Rin's table?"

Kek snagged his two plates, rushing over to pull some fries. Though he was getting better at handling people, the lunch crowd was always a nightmare to deal with. "Give me a damn second. I got them right here."

Mr. Hiroto, his boss, just nodded before turning to get the soup started. It had been four months since Kek started working at the diner. Initially, he started off washing dishes. It was far from his favorite job he'd ever done, but it paid the bills. His boss asked if he'd prefer to work as a waiter, since he could get pretty good tips. Kek had just laughed. People were a struggle on a day-to-day basis for him. He couldn't even imagine trying to provide friendly service to them.

Kek probably would have kept his head down and stuck with dishes had it not been for his coworker. One day, on a particularly busy morning shift, his coworker quitted. This threw the kitchen into a frenzy trying to make up for the missing chef. Eventually, their frantic rush around the kitchen finally made Kek snap. Unable to handle the noise, he blurted out that he knew how to cook and could help out.

He figured his boss would have just snapped and told him to talk about it another time. But given that they were shorthanded, he didn't have time to argue or complain. Regulations and policies be damned, Mr. Hiroto told him to throw on an apron and wash his hands. The response was completely different from what he expected, but he hadn't any time to think about it. The morning rush had to be dealt with.

After surviving that shift, Mr. Hiroto had been impressed by Kek's work in the kitchen, offering him a position to work as a chef. He had been taken back by the offer. He had expected to have gotten himself fired in the first two months. He hadn't expected essentially a raise to do what he enjoyed. He felt almost embarrassed, even bashful at the offer.

Nonetheless, it wasn't an offer he could pass up.

Two months later, Kek found himself at home in the diner. What had started as a hobby now became a career. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on Kek, but at the same time, he was grateful for the opportunity. He realized he was fortunate to do something he enjoyed in his job. Ryou was still working at the café, though he barely seemed to mind since he finally left his bartending career.

The one upside to working at the diner was how quickly time flew by. Despite how busy and hectic it got, Kek barely batted an eye. His shift would breeze by. Today was one of those shifts, where the customers kept coming and orders never stopped. He blinked in confusion when he realized he had worked fifteen minutes past shift.

"Mr. Hiroto, I'm out of here. Text me if you need me in tomorrow." Kek called out, grabbing his jacket and keys as he made his way towards the door.

His boss barely glanced in his direction. "Will do. Don't get into any trouble, got it?"

Kek rolled his eyes. His boss was always a bit blunt and stand-offish, but that barely bothered him. If anything, Kek appreciated his quirky behavior. "The hell I will."

Kek stepped outside, the afternoon summer air not providing much relief from the hot kitchen. He was looking forward towards the winter, where the biting cold air would be sweet relief from the sweltering hot kitchen. He grinned as he spotted Ryou standing out by the restaurant entrance.

"Hey there, hot stuff. How was work?" Ryou chuckled, that snarky grin still on his face.

Kek just smirked back, giving Ryou a quick kiss. "Not too shabby. You?"

"Brilliant. Ready for date night?"

Kek chuckled, amused by Ryou's excitement. Their schedules didn't coincide all too frequently. The only day they both got out around the same time was on Tuesdays, where Ryou would meet Kek at the restaurant and the two would walk home. It was a pleasant moment of the week they both enjoyed.

Fortunately for the two of them, they had exciting plans for the evening.

The two ran back home, mostly so that Kek should shower and get the smell of the diner off of him. He jumped into a pair of clean slacks, staring at himself in the mirror as he tried to figure out if it was worth doing something about his crazy hair. He was using the towel to dry it out when Ryou stepped into their shared bathroom.

"Did I leave my hairbrush in here?" He inquired, as he glanced around the vanity. Kek only gestured with his arm to the brush hidden off to the side, frowning at his blonde fro. Hair product would only make matters worse for his hair. He watched as Ryou took the ponytail out of hair and started brushing, trying to tame his knotted hair.

"Everything okay over there?" Ryou asked, raising an eyebrow at the blonde staring at him. Kek just shook his head, trying to clear his mind.

"Nothing. Just was thinking about changing up my usual attire, but it's a little difficult with my… unruly hair." Kek ran his hand through his blond locks, his lip twitching slightly. To his surprise, Ryou just laughed, a smile growing on his face. He placed down his hairbrush to run both of his hands through Kek's hair.

"Are you kidding? I freaking love it. It's all the more amazing to me that it's natural. Even your hair is defiant – just like everything else about you." Kek rolled his eyes. Leave it Ryou to somehow get a jab at him while complimenting him.

"Remind me why I care about your opinion?" Kek asked dryly, his hands resting at Ryou's waist. The albino lowered his hands to wrap his arms around Kek's neck. He just gave a light smile, his dark brown eyes warm and soft. Kek felt his own scowl falter before Ryou leaned forward, slowly kissing him on his lips. The way that Ryou dragged his own lips over Kek's bottom lip made him grow weak in the knees.

Kek was just remembering to breathe when Ryou smirked. "That's why. Now hurry up and get changed. You've got a hot date waiting at the door."

And with that Ryou, quickly disappeared out from the bathroom. Kek stepped back, leaning against the bathroom wall as he grinned to himself.  _Cheeky little bastard._  Being around Ryou was strangely intoxicating, and it was moments like those that made Kek glad to finally be living with him. He shook his head, rushing to finish up so that they could go out.

* * *

Kek and Ryou walked hand-in-hand, spotting the clock at the center of town. This also marked where the ongoing festival was happening. During the summer, Domino city had different events going on. One of which was the World Cultures Festival, which was a weeklong celebration of exactly what one might expect. Ryou had seen a posting at the café announcing the festival and insisted on going.

While Kek had definitely been curious about the event, he couldn't help but also feel hesitant. Sure, he was eager to try a wide variety of foods that he had to try cooking, but he also was aware of what this sort of event would bring. People. Lots and lots of people. And while Kek had gotten better at keeping his temper in check, he was also aware that most of their dates allowed Ryou and Kek their own privacy.

It was one thing to go to a movie together. Aside from buying tickets and food, contact with strangers was absent for the most part. However, at a cultural fair, the basis of much of the content involved constant interaction with others. This alone worried Kek, knowing that his tolerance for stupidity and bullshit was much lower than the average person.

Despite this awareness, Kek decided to go. Ryou had really wanted to go, and he wanted to make Ryou happy. It wasn't fair to his boyfriend that they couldn't go out and do the stuff he liked just because Kek was uncomfortable. Ryou would often try to meet Kek in the middle and the two would often compromise on stuff. And sometimes, Kek would just have to bite his tongue and try to enjoy the day.

He could only pray that he would actually succeed.

The two explored the various stands, things going smoothly initially. About an hour in and there had been any confrontations or aggressive outbursts from Kek. He found that if he focused on being with Ryou and sharing the experience, it became easier to tune out all the people around him.

Things changed when some noise caught their attention. They had been listening to a group playing traditional Greek music when they heard several voices calling for Ryou's attention. The two looked up, Kek blinking as a group of young adults that he had never met before approached them. Ryou apparently knew them as he smiled, giving a small wave at the crowd coming to join them.

"Ryou! It's been so long! How've you been?" An astonishingly short boy with hair that gave Kek a run for his money greeted the albino. Kek stared somewhat bewildered by the group, but decided to stay quiet and let Ryou handle the situation.

Ryou just smiled, his polite demeanor quickly taking over. "I'm well, Yuugi. It has been awhile. How've you all been?"

Kek raised an eyebrow, watching the light banter back and forth between Ryou and his friends. He knew of Ryou's friends, but he had never met them before. Granted, Ryou had admitted that these friends were more like acquaintances, so that would explain why they hadn't met sooner.

Ryou seemed to finally remember the lack of introductions as he turned to Kek. "Where are my manners? Guys, I'd like you to meet Kek, my boyfriend. Kek, this is Yuugi, Anzu, Jounouchi-"

Kek raised an eyebrow, smirking as he suddenly recognized one of Ryou's companions. "And Honda." He finished the introduction, a surprise look growing on Ryou's face. It was strange how small the world was, as he suddenly recognized the brunette as his one and only odd friend he had made.

Honda had a bemused smile on his face, chuckling lightly. "Hey Kek. I hope my dad isn't running you ragged. Enjoying the diner."

Kek just snorted. "Better than my last job. My old coworkers were assholes."

Kek noticed as Ryou's friends nodded solemnly, completely missing the implications of who his coworkers were and what his previous job was. He glanced over at Ryou, who had a rather dry smile on his face. The knowing look on his face caused a smirk to grow on Kek's face, their exchange letting on to more than what was being said.

After a moment, Yuugi cocked his head in confusion. "Hey, Ryou, everything okay?"

Ryou suddenly remembered his friends. He gave a small smile, a look that Kek was all too familiar with. Ryou winked, his appearance deceptively innocent. "Oh everything's just peachy. Have fun at the fair yet?"

Yuugi furrowed his brows but decided to let whatever question he had in mind remain unasked. The conversation eased into a new topic. "Yeah, everything here is so cool. I had no idea you were coming! You really dropped off the face of the planet. Where've you been?"

Kek watched Ryou, who just laughed lightly, though there was a nervous note in his voice. Ryou's eyes flicked over to Kek for a moment, and the Egyptian finally made sense of it. Ryou hadn't had much free time between his two jobs. Any free time he had was spent with his new boyfriend. And even though Ryou quit his one job a couple of months ago, he still hadn't contacted his friends.

Kek smirked as he realized what Ryou had been trying to do.

Picking up his cue, Kek started to laugh. "I believe it would be my fault you haven't seen Ryou around recently. I'm rather territorial and I don't like to share." For good measure, he pulled Ryou in for a hug, arms wrapped around his waist. He grinned, though he imagined it came off as an arrogant sneer. He felt pleased as he saw Yuugi's eyes grow huge, flicking back and forth between the two nervously.

Ryou decided to spare his friends, who seemed concerned for the albino's wellbeing. He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Stop being a turd and let me go." Kek chuckled but relented, releasing Ryou. After that, their groups merged, Kek walking behind Ryou as he caught up with his friends, who were eager to know all that had happened in the months that passed.

Resigning himself to the back seat, Kek was surprised when he heard a voice next to him. "So you and Ryou? I definitely did not see that coming."

Kek glanced over his shoulder as he saw Honda drinking what looked like some sort of beer. He just shrugged before returning his gaze to Ryou. "I didn't see it coming either. Life's fucking weird though, so I just rolled with it."

Honda chuckled, picking out something that had fallen in his drink. "Fair enough. Still, I'm somewhat surprised. I didn't peg you as gay nor did I peg you as Ryou's type. But hey, learn something new everyday."

Kek nodded, but didn't say anything. He wasn't entirely sure what to make of Honda's observation, but he figured that he didn't mean any real offense by it. He had tormented with the Egyptian with other stuff in his life – this seemed relatively harmless. Honda finished his drinking, tossing the plastic cup into a nearby trash can.

"So do you mind if I ask you something?" Honda asked, snagging a hot dog from an American stall.

Kek just rolled his eyes, grunting to signal the brunette to continue.

"How is Ryou doing? Is he okay?"

Kek raised an eyebrow at the question, not really sure why he was being asked this instead of Honda just asking Ryou himself. Regardless, honesty wouldn't hurt at the moment. "He's doing alright. We moved in together a little over three months. He quit his bartending job and cut back on hours, so he's not nearly as stressed as before."

Honda paused for moment, glancing over in Kek's direction. The blond returned the gaze, waiting for Honda to go on. He just sighed before biting into his hot dog. "That sounds like him. Thing is, Ryou doesn't tell us any of that stuff. He never tells us what's wrong in his life. He doesn't like to worry us. Hell, I didn't know he dated. He's pretty secretive about his life and doesn't want to burden us."

Kek nodded his head in understanding. He understood that all too well. Ryou had been a notoriously tough nut to crack. It had taken Kek weeks and months to coax Ryou into trusting him and opening up. But in order to do that, Kek had to tear down his shields as well. Despite how uncomfortable it was, how vulnerable and difficult it had been, it had been worth it. It had been worth being vulnerable if it meant being open and honest with Ryou.

Even now, reflecting on events passed, things had been going well for the two of them. Though there were rough patches, things had calmed down in their lives since Kek got his new job. Akefia was nowhere to be seen around Ryou's work place, so they were hopeful he got the message. However, if issues did arise, Ryou promised to let Kek have the next punch.

"Yeah, Ryou can be tight-lipped, but he's doing alright. He likes his privacy after all." Kek admitted, a soft smile on his face as he watched Ryou in front of him. He saw Ryou laugh, raising a pale hand to hide the grin growing on his face. His chocolate eyes were warm and soft. Every so often, Kek often felt stunned, even shocked at the realization that he was dating Ryou. Because real life was better than he could ever imagine.

Honda just nodded, sighing. "I guess I'll have to take your word on it. So long as he has someone he can talk to about this stuff, then I guess that's all that matters."

Kek imagined that he was not the first person Honda had in mind for being Ryou's confidant, but what could he do about it? Ryou, for some god-forsaken reason, wanted to be with Kek. Even Kek was sometimes baffled by that thought. Regardless, Honda would just have to deal with it. Skeptical or not, Kek didn't care what others thought. He only cared about Ryou. And he wanted to see him smile everyday.

The group travelled around for a bit longer together before Ryou politely bowed out. He kindly explained that he was actually on a date with Kek and promised to get in touch with the gang soon. Their prolonged goodbye eventually had Kek drag Ryou away. Ryou was apologetic towards them, but as soon as they were out of sight, Kek saw the sigh of relief. "You look like you had fun."

Ryou rolled his eyes, a dry smile on his face. "They're nice people, but they can be a bit exhausting at times. I guess I had been pushing off getting in touch with them and now I got stung for it. Sorry about the hassle."

Kek shrugged, indifferent either way. He could think of less pleasant encounters they could have had at such an event. All things considered, they were fairly lucky. Ryou took Kek's hand as they set back off to explore the various stands.

"Everything okay over there?"

It took a moment for Kek to realize that Ryou was asking him. He raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I'm fine. Should I not be?"

Ryou shrugged, glancing around. "This is a pretty crowded place. I wasn't sure if this was getting on your nerves or not."

Kek realized what Ryou was implying. The last time they were in a large crowd, Kek was snapping at every little thing that irritated him. He barely had control of his temper. Kek just kept walking next to Ryou, looking at the different stalls. "I mean, it's not my favorite thing to do. But I'll be fine. So long as they aren't directly engaging me, I think this sort of thing will be alright."

He noticed the relieved look on Ryou's face. He knew that Ryou had been worried about their outing. And despite some mild discomfort, Kek was surprised how little the crowded scene affected him. It felt like most of his typical anger and aggression was muted. Or at least, the things that used to irritate to no end seemed rather miniscule in nature. Kek wasn't sure when that happened, but then again, there had been many changes in his life in the past few months.

Ryou grinned, bumping his shoulder against Kek. "Well, what do you want to check out next?"

Kek scoped out the area, a smirk growing on his face. "Want to try some Caribbean food?"

Ryou followed Kek towards a stand serving jerk chicken. Kek had never tried making it before, but he had heard the rumors of how notoriously hot it could be. He enjoyed the scalding heat and the burst of spices that erupted in his mouth. Despite the heat, the flavors made him want to dive in and eat more.

He was just taking his third bite when he glanced over at Ryou. He started to laugh as he saw Ryou's cheek become rosy, the heat of the food quickly made apparent in his pale visage. Ryou tried to pout, but he couldn't stop chuckling. He tried to fan out the heat, fighting the red that was quickly taking over his face. Kek snagged a cup of water for Ryou, unable to stop snickering.

Once Ryou managed to not look so flushed, the two continued their exploration. Ryou pawned off his piece of chicken to Kek, who was more than happy to finish it for him. They closed the gap, Ryou wrapping arm around Kek's waist as they walked side-by-side. In order to make up for his devious torture, Ryou insisted on trying to find some British cuisine. While Kek was skeptical, he agreed to help hunt down some fish and chips for his boyfriend.

In the haze of the crowd, Kek paused as he felt a strange sense that he recognized someone. It was only a moment in passing, but he blinked, curious about the feeling. He glanced around, looking for the shop, but more so for the presence he thought he felt. Eventually, the feeling faded and Kek shrugged it off, figuring he must have imagined it.

He felt Ryou pull him away to check out some woven Persian rugs, the sort of authentic material that was gorgeous to look at but unreasonable for their paycheck. He humored Ryou as he looked at some of the smaller ones, knowing they would not be buying any that evening. Despite his ease with Ryou, Kek couldn't shake the feeling that he saw something, or rather someone, he knew from his past.

Someone with familiar blue eyes.


	20. Chapter 20

_It's strange what nostalgia can do to a person._  Kek and Ryou were walking through town, making their way to Kek's old home. He furrowed his brows, nodding his head along to whatever Ryou was telling him. He wasn't trying to tune him out, but he found his mind was scattered. It was difficult to focus with the upcoming confrontation. Ideally, it wouldn't be a confrontation, but knowing his family, that's how it would end up.

Ryou spoke about everything and nothing, trying to distract Kek from his anxiety. He appreciated the gesture, but he knew that nothing would keep his mind off his swirling, tumultuous thoughts. He had no idea what he was going to say – he just knew what he hoped to obtain, but no clue as to ask for such token.

After Kek told Ryou he wanted to go back to his childhood home and try to do… whatever the hell he hoped to achieve, they spent the next couple of days figuring out a game plan. Kek thought hard and carefully and decided he wanted to take something, a physical reminder of his past, both the pain and the happiness of it all.

Kek wanted a photo of his family.

Specifically, Kek specifically wanted a photo of his mother. The mother that he never had a chance to meet. Of everyone in his family, she was the only one with whom he did not have a soured encounter. She died in labor with him, and although his father used to guilt him for her death, he refused to accept that blame. Despite all that happened, Kek held on to a strange belief that perhaps she would have forgiven him.

Even if she hadn't forgiven him, she wouldn't have cast him away. If what Odion and Ishizu said about her was true, she was compassionate and loving. Essentially the polar opposite from his father. Kek saw the devoted affection that Ryou held for his late mother. Perhaps he was projecting what he thought his mother would be like based on what Ryou described of his own mother. Perhaps his perception of what his mother was like was based on Ryou's description.

Regardless of the case, Kek wanted a picture of her. Despite all that happened, she was still his mother, just as he was still an Ishtar. He would not cast her aside nor could his siblings deny him that much. Yet strangely, that wasn't all that Kek wanted. He talked to Ryou about it at length, but he expressed the desire to have a picture of him and his siblings.

The idea was almost insane, but it still clung to him, nevertheless. Despite all of their pain, there had been a time when he was happy, even proud to call his brothers and sister family. And even if times had changed, Kek wanted physical proof, something that showed that their broken family hadn't always been so broken.

Kek swallowed, trying to remove the hard lump stuck in his throat. He glanced over at Ryou, who had stopped talking and walked in silence with him. He felt guilty for dragging Ryou with him. Lord knows how his siblings would react when they saw him. Kek had never tried to do this before, but based on their previous encounters, it was safe to assume that it wouldn't be pleasant.

Yet Ryou was still here for him. It hadn't been a question in his mind. Ryou continually chose to stand by him, regardless of what may come. Kek didn't have the words to express his gratitude, to demonstrate how much he loved the albino for his unwavering support and encouragement. So Kek settled for rubbing his thumb against Ryou's knuckle, hoping to silently convey so much more than the gesture implied.

Kek blinked, stopping for a moment as he glanced around. Ryou paused and waited patiently as the Egyptian looked around, a startled look on his face. They had been walking through town for some time now, their usual sights far behind. It shocked Kek that he recognized the railroad crossing from the far west side of the city, almost as far from the pier as possible.

He also knew that meant they were close. He looked back at Ryou, his face torn between fear and nausea. Ryou stepped forward, gently caressing his cheek. "If you don't want to, we don't have to. We can come back another day."

Kek swallowed, shaking his head. He didn't trust his words, but he knew there would never be a day when he was ready to face his siblings. If he was going to do this, it might as well be now before he got cold feet.

Kek felt his heart racing even though they were walking at a relaxed speed. As they drew closer to his old home, his stomach twisted and turned violently. Kek forced himself to keep moving forward. He could hold it together. Just go in, get the picture, leave. That was all there was to it.

Soon, too soon, they stood in front of a small, one-story house. Kek quickly recognized the house, though he quickly noticed the changes immediately. The urine yellow house had been repainted to a bright white. He noticed a flowerbed that had previously been weeds. He could see the efforts his family, most likely Ishizu, put forward to transform their home from a prison to a sanctuary.

Kek stared at the front door, a dark blue color. Kek was certain it hadn't always been that color. He remembered it being a rusty red color. Chances were, his siblings repainted. It would make sense. It had been several years. A lot had changed. The interior was probably different as well. The thought sent a confusing train of thought running through Kek's mind. He focused on the dark blue, trying not to think about what was beyond those doors.

Kek stood there for a few more moments, going back and forth trying to decide whether to knock or ring the doorbell. It was stupid thing to get hung up about, but it consumed him. His hand twitched as if trying to decide. Kek flinched as he saw a pale hand extend forward, three solid knocks resonating through the silence.

Kek turned to glare at Ryou. "Why the fuck did you do that?" Kek demanded, trying to hide the panicked note in his face. He wasn't angry at Ryou, but rather the fact that there was no turning back from this point on.

Ryou just shrugged, a rather detached look on his face. "Kek, I love you, but we would've been waiting all day for you to make that decision. And I'd like to be home before dark."

Kek knew Ryou was just trying to help him along, but it didn't make the situation any easier to manage. He blinked, a thought crossing his mind as he turned to ask Ryou something. He froze as he heard the lock click, the door swinging open.

Kek snapped his head back around, swallowing hard as saw a familiar face answer the door. His grey eyes studied the two men standing outside. Kek struggled to find his words, his angry, indifferent façade replaced by a confused, startled visage. He took a deep breath, his eyes weary as he looked up at his elder brother. "Hello Odion."

Odion didn't reply. This didn't surprise Kek. The bald man watched Kek, eyes unwavering. His expression wasn't angry like Ishizu, but rather stern and careful. As if expecting some sort of trick.  _Honestly with our history, I can't necessarily blame him for the caution_.

Finally, after several long seconds, Odion spoke, his voice a low murmur. "What do you want?"

Kek bit back a snort. That was the golden question after all. Kek resisted the urge to lash out or vent his frustration at his family. They weren't the targets of his burning anger. His father was and he was dead. But his family was alive, here in front of him. Like he planned before. Go in, get the photo, get out.

"There's something I want to talk about. Can we come in?" Kek asked, his eyes breaking away from Odion as he glanced over towards Ryou. He felt like he blinked first, but then again, Odion had always had an intense aura about him. Ryou was easier to watch, easier to latch to. He contemplated taking Ryou's hand, but he found his hand twitching, unsure and afraid to move under his brother's gaze.

Kek was aware that Odion studied him for a bit longer. He half expected to be turned away politely, with Odion explaining how this wouldn't be a good idea for them. That it would be safer for everyone involved. Kek raised a hand to scratch at the back of his neck.  _Yep. This was a shitty idea. Fuck it. I should go while I can._

"… Come in."

Kek jerked his head at the words, surprise leaking onto his face. He glanced back at Ryou, who met his wild lavender eyes. Ryou's expression was a careful mask, his mouth a thin line. He just nodded in encouragement to Kek. Ignoring his thudding chest, Kek stepped forward, passing through the open door held by his elder brother.

As Kek entered the house, a wave of nostalgia washed over him. The pictures of their family, the smell of lentils being cooked, Odion's music collection, Ishizu's bookcase filled with history textbooks, the house.  _The house._  Kek hadn't realized how much he missed home until he stood in the living room, a strange ache in his chest. He never thought he would actually miss this place. He hadn't realized there was something worth missing.

Odion followed the two into the living before passing them heading towards the kitchen. Kek was left to stand in the living room with Ryou, who also observed their surrounding. In many ways, not much had changed. The TV was still there as well as the verdant green couch shoved against the couch. But Kek noticed other pieces that were new. He found it strange to see a video games in the house when their father had been rather strict about having them.

More than that, it was the little trinkets that indicated how his family moved on without him. He spotted what looked like handmade pottery bowls. He noticed posters of some of Odion's favorite artists on the wall. He even noticed a guitar sitting in a stand in the corner of the room. Last he recalled, none of his siblings knew how to play an instrument. But then again, seven years was enough to become proficient in whatever one of them chose.

Kek heard voices speaking in the kitchen, distracting him from his observations. He suspected that Odion had went ahead to warn Ishizu of his arrival. He leaned over to see if he could spot her in the kitchen when a familiar voice caught his ear. "What the fuck are you doing here?!"

Kek snapped back, his lavender eyes locking with a matching set. It was like looking to a mirror while still remaining polar opposites. It had been so long since he last seen Marik. He remembered walking to school with his twin, teasing him about the unwanted attention he had drawn from one of the cheerleaders. He remembered staying up reading stories under the cover. He remembered a time when they were brothers.

The sharp glare in Marik's eyes reminded Kek that their shared connection was forever lost.

Kek knew that Marik despised him. It didn't surprise him. After their father's death, Marik had been reluctant to rush into a decision during the whole affair. Back then, Kek thought that perhaps Marik would hear him out. But after years of living with his older siblings, it would only be natural that Marik would side with them having listened to their side. According to their narrative, he was the enemy after all.

Kek struggled to find an answer, wanting to explain his sudden appearance with all of his siblings around. Ryou spared him, smiling lightly as he piped up from next to Kek. "Hello, you must be Marik, yes? I'm Ryou. It's nice to meet you."

Ryou's plan worked as Marik jerked his head, suddenly realizing the second person there. He quickly glanced over the bowing albino before flicking his eyes back over to Kek. "What are you, his girlfriend?"

Ryou laughed out loud, his voice like chimes. He treated as if Marik was making a joke about the weather. Ryou's unbreakable composure never failed to astonish Kek. "Well, close. I'm not a girl. But I am his boyfriend."

Kek knew that Marik intended the comment to be derisive. He intended to insult Ryou for his affiliation with his fallen brother. Ryou's quick and direct response could almost be seen as oblivious to the intentions. As if he hadn't noticed that Marik meant some offense. As if he was used to being mistaken for a girl (which Kek suspected might be the case). It was that knowledge that kept Kek from getting angry at his brother's attack. Ryou could handle himself.

Marik blinked, startled by this statement. Whatever response he had anticipated, this revelation had not been it. He narrowed his eyes, his gaze shifting between the two visitors. Before Marik could say anything, Kek could hear a familiar voice from the kitchen. "How could you let him in? Why would you do that?"

Odion didn't have any time to respond as Ishizu stormed out of the kitchen, stopping abruptly as soon as she saw Kek. He instantly noticed the startled, almost terrified look on her face. Despite the hard glare she gave him, the fear was evident in her face. Kek remained still, licking his dry lips as he struggled to find some reaction that might be appropriate and non-aggressive to his family. So far, none had come to mind.

Despite her terror, Ishizu stepped forward, placing herself in front of Marik, as if to shield him with her body. "What the hell do you want from us? Why are you here?"

Kek noticed that Odion followed Ishizu from the kitchen, but stood back. His eyes bore into their two guests, a stern look on his face. With all eyes on him, Kek felt that he was short on breath. He felt dizzy, but refused to show it. He took a shaky breath, glancing away from the accusing eyes. "I… I wanted a photo of mom. Of our family."

His siblings said nothing. The silence spanned between them like the infinite gap that separated him from his family. Kek wished they would say something, anything. Silence was more agonizing than not knowing what would happen.

Marik was the first to finally regain himself, shifting slightly so that he stepped next to Ishizu. "You want… pictures? Why?"

The fact that Kek would want a photo of their family spoke depths to how little faith his family had in him. As if he were incapable of wanting a treasured keepsake for sentimental reasons. In all fairness, Kek hardly showed any sort of repentant behavior for the last seven years of his life. He wasn't surprised by their shock.

He sighed, glancing over at Ryou who met his gaze. "… She was my mom too." Kek didn't trust his words beyond that. He wanted to tell them that, like it or not, he was their family as well. The constant scab that they tried to pick away but could never succeed. Because he was not a scab, but rather a permanent scar.

Ishizu found her voice after Kek's response, her expression growing hard again. Kek knew the words that would soon follow out of her mouth. He had heard these same claims for several years now. "You lost all right to call her mom the day you killed father!"

Kek flinched at that, his head snapping back. He scowled at the response and opened his mouth to respond. He caught himself quickly, biting his tongue before he could lash out. He had run this familiar circle with Ishizu before. He was familiar with this treatment from his family. Their wounds could not be healed so quickly.

Kek forced himself to take a deep breath, aware of his siblings gaze on him. He glared at the carpet, his fist tightening. "If self-defense is my crime, then fine. I killed father, but only because I didn't want to be hurt or get killed. What do you want me to do now about it?"

Ishizu crossed his arms across her chest, her voice harsh. "Leave. We don't want anything to do with you."

Kek didn't react but he felt Ryou flinch next to him. He knew Ryou wanted to step in and alleviate the tension. He imagined that his boyfriend was concerned by the treatment and verbal abuse he was suffering.  _For my family, this is goddamn civilized._  The fact that they were biting back their worst comments right now was solely because there was another witness. Not that it said much about them.

Still, Kek wanted to avoid an outright fight. He looked back, meeting icy blue eyes aflame with anger. "I'll leave, but I want a photo. Honestly, I was hoping for a picture of us siblings together and one of mom, but I'll settle for either at this point."

Kek instantly regretted his request the moment he saw his siblings' reaction, more livid than before. Only Odion remained unchanged, his gaze unwavering as he studied him. Marik spoke this time, a nervous note in his voice. "Why the hell do you want a photo of us?"

Kek resisted the urge to roll his eyes and the desire to make a snarky comment. Since he was going down this rabbit hole, he figured he might as well commit all the way. He wasn't getting out of here unscathed as it was. "Because like it or not, we're family."

Kek knew the sort of response he would get after a remark like that. He knew by the way Ishizu immediately snapped back and Marik rolled his eyes that this belief was far from the truth. Despite their blood relation, it was clear that he was not family to them. That he never would be. Kek couldn't focus on what either one was saying, his eyes still averted.

Because even though he knew how they would respond, it still hurt.

Ishizu seemed the most frustrated, her exasperation and exhaustion seeping through. Her voice cut through their rabble and directly into Kek's core. "Why can't you let us go? You've hurt us and broken our family! We just want to get on with our lives! Please, stop doing this to us! Stop prolonging our pain and just go!"

Kek could hear the broken chord in her voice, as if this admission was hurting her as well. He didn't know how to respond or what was an appropriate way to react. He didn't know what to do. He knew this would end poorly. He knew and yet he still decided to come. And for what? A fucking Kodak moment?

Kek didn't know how to escape. His hand wandered until it found Ryou's, linking his fingers with his. He closed his eyes, raising a hand to clench at his hair. He felt Ryou place a hand on his shoulder, leaning to whisper something. Kek couldn't hear him – the clamor warped around him and all he could hear was the swirling chaos of his broken life.

And in a moment, that noise was shattered.

All eyes turned at the sound of glass breaking. Kek jerked his head, noticing a picture had fallen off the wall. Odion was by the picture in the hall, kneeling down to pick up the broken frame. Careful to avoid the glass, he shifted the frame away to slip the photo out. Wordlessly he stood up, brushing off the picture as he came back down the hallway.

Kek jerked, almost as if to take a step back from his approaching sibling. He felt Ryou's hold on his hand tighten, as if to keep him in place. He didn't want to stay. He didn't know how to react. He didn't know how to face his brother. His eyes flicked up, Odion's gaze still focused on Kek. He glanced down, struggling to keep the panic note out of his breathing.

Kek could feel Odion's presence near him, a towering shadow. He knew he had to face him, swallowing hard as he glanced up at his elder brother. Odion's face was still a careful mask, stern as always. He held out two pictures, the same two that Kek had ventured out for. With a trembling hand, Kek reached out and took hold of the photos.

"Thanks." Kek muttered softly, eyes darting away. He knew not to read into this gesture. A more naïve person might have seen this as Odion trying to bridge the gap in their broken family, but Kek knew better. He knew that Odion was calculating and determined to keep his family's well-being above all else. He didn't do this as an act of kindness. This was simply to give Kek what he wanted and get him out of their lives again.

All the same, Kek wouldn't spit on this kindness. He got the memoirs he had sought out.  _Now it's time to get the fuck out._

Kek turned to look at his other two siblings, a bewildered expression on their face as they stared at Odion. Struggling to find him voice, Kek merely nodded, mumbling out a soft farewell. He turned to Ryou, who met him with an earnest gaze. Silently they moved as one, turning towards the door.

Kek stopped walking, letting go of Ryou's hand as he felt another hand placed on his shoulder. He snapped back, a startled look on his face. He met the steely gray eyes of his elder brother, who nodded slightly. There was something in this gaze that was less cold and more… observing? He wasn't sure what it was, but this shift in perspective shook Kek. He didn't know why, but the look made him want to rush forward and hug his brother and yell at him for all the wrong he did.

Kek stepped away, frightened by this thought. He glanced over his family one last time before following Ryou to the door. He grabbed Ryou's hand and led them away, the front door still open as Kek bolted away from his old home. Even though they were outside, he struggled to find his breath, as if there wasn't enough oxygen to sustain him.

Kek practically sprinted to a nearby park that he knew, a nauseating sensation building in his gut. The moment he spotted the open field, he let go of Ryou's hand, running over to a trash can before emptying the contents of his stomach. He retched a couple times before he was done, the acid burning his throat as he did.

He felt Ryou gently rubbing his back, brushing bangs out from in front of his face. Kek spat one final time before stepping back, leaning against a nearby tree. He raised a hand to wipe the sweat from his brow. "Shit. Sorry about that."

Ryou just shrugged, not seemingly put back by any of it. "Not a problem. This was important and I want to support you. Are you feeling okay, though?"

Kek nodded, pushing off from the tree as he started walking next to Ryou, at a much slower pace. "Fine now…"

Ryou accepted the answer and the two kept walking. They walked in silence for roughly ten minutes before Ryou stopped to get Kek a bottle of water. As Ryou turned around, Kek took the bottle from his hand, glancing down at the pavement. His face furrowed as he sighed. "That was… hard."

Ryou nodded, gently rubbing Kek's shoulder in support. "Family situations can be rough. Are you glad that you did it?"

Kek glanced down at the two photos that he had slipped into his pocket. In his rush to leave, he hadn't bothered to see what pictures Odion gave him. He took them out, studying them carefully.

Sure enough, one was of his mother. She was young in this picture, probably the same age as himself, if Kek had to guess. The similarities between her and Ishizu were striking, but Kek noticed brightness in her eyes, the dimples of her smile. It spoke of a happiness and joy she held. Ishizu didn't have that. Ishizu always seemed burdened by life. It was as if their past would be what marred Ishizu's innocence and beauty.

Kek sighed, shifting the photo away to see look at the other one. His breath caught as he recognized the other photo. It was a picture of the four of them together, back when Kek and Marik were still very young. Despite the hardships in their life, the picture lifted Kek's spirit. He and Marik were giggling, covered in mud from brawling outside. Ishizu looked just as dirty as she scowled at her twin brothers. He could see Odion biting back a grin as he stood back, observing his younger siblings antics.

Kek had forgotten about this memory. Almost fifteen years prior, they had a series of rainstorms that turned most of the surrounding land into mud. Kek and Marik had tricked Ishizu into coming outside, only to start a mud fight with her. She had been livid and scolded them, even though they knew there was no weight to her threats. Odion had noticed the entire situation and decided to watch than intervene on behalf of their sister.

Kek chuckled, feeling both lightened and weighed by his burden at the same time. He saw how he kept regaining bits of happiness back from his past, but he also reminded himself that he had lost such joy in his life. He closed his eyes, slipping the pictures away.

Kek felt Ryou take his hand, reminding him of the question asked earlier. He thought for a moment, letting these conflicting emotions sit with him a bit longer before replying. "…Yeah. For all its worth, at least I have those pictures. I just … I mean, it can't replace what I lost, but still, I wish…" Kek stopped talking, not entirely sure what he wished.

Ryou pulled him in for a hug, a pale hand running through his soft, blond locks. "I know… Me too."

The tremor in Ryou's voice told Kek that he knew. That for all their memories and desperate attempts to hold on to their past, it could never heal the gaping pain left behind. Although these pictures helped, Kek realized these were scars he would always have. He couldn't undo the damage and he couldn't rebuild his relationship to his family.

He had to forge something new instead.

Kek tightened his arms around Ryou's waist, his forehead resting on Ryou's shoulders. He heard Ryou chuckle as he rested his cheek against the wild blond hair. Kek smiled, allowing himself to feel safe. Perhaps he had lost his home, but he found a new one with the warm embrace that now held him. Despite the pain of past and the terror of finding his future, Kek knew that he would see it through. He knew that he wouldn't have to do it alone.


	21. Final Chapter

A couple weeks passed after Kek confronted his siblings. He received no word from his family and they returned to their usual silence. Kek didn't hold any hope that him approaching them would spark any change. It's been years of separation and pain – it could not be healed with one simple visit.

However, perhaps healing could happen in small bits and pieces.

Kek was working one of his longer shifts at the diner. He sat down for his own late lunch, the first break he had in seven hours. He was starved and ready to eat. He sat at the bar, digging into his sandwich as he tried to clear his mind from the exhausting day. He contemplated grabbing a beer, but figured his boss wouldn't be thrilled if he came back from break smelling of alcohol.

That was when he noticed someone come in and sit down next to him. He glanced over as a reflex. He quickly recognized the familiar Egyptian man sitting next to him. Stern, focused eyes and a carefully masked expression, Kek recognized the patron as his older brother.

Kek froze, eyes wide as he stared at Odion, quietly eating his own meal. How his brother found him was beyond, but then again, he kept running into his family at various places and would turn a blind eye in the past. It wouldn't surprise him that they were always aware of his new occupation.

Kek didn't know how to react, so he decided to just focus on eating, trying to maintain his appetite. It was hard to feign indifference when he felt panicked by his brother's appearance. He found that his appetite quickly disappeared, anxiety taking its place. He wondered why his brother would suddenly appear now. What was going on?

The two ate their meals in silence, Odion not once looking over at Kek. He normally would have seen this as a dismissive attitude in the same way that Odion glanced over him at the market before. But that didn't make sense. Odion came and chose to sit next to him after Kek had gotten his food. What on earth did he hope to accomplish?

Odion finished eating, placing his napkin on his place as he prepared to leave. Kek let out a sigh internally, his body still tense from the whole scenario. As Odion started to walk away, he paused, glancing over at Kek for the first time. Kek met his steely eyes, knowing that his own fears played out on his face. Gone was in his indifferent, cold mask as Kek struggled with his own confusion.

Odion nodded, his expression stern yet not unkind. "I'll see you around."

Kek forgot to speak for a moment, fumbling as he grunted in reply. He nodded slightly, watching Odion leave. He released the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding when Odion walked out of the doors. Kek wasn't sure what this whole thing meant, but he also knew that this was the most civil interaction he had had with his family in years. And the fact that one of his siblings initiated it was miraculous to him.

Kek closed his eyes, shaking his head. What Odion hoped to achieve was insane. But perhaps insanity was a genetic trait. Kek picked up his plate, heading back into the kitchen to finish his shift.

* * *

Odion would sporadically join Kek for lunch every few weeks. Eventually, these lunches became more and more frequent until Odion knew Kek's schedule well enough to know when to come. Kek was fascinated by this. They barely spoke. Aside from a few words and comments back and forth, they still remained strangers.

But Kek held desperately to these interactions. They were the only connecting bits in his life to his family. Over time, their careful defenses began to chip away, each curious and somewhat intrigued by the other. It took weeks of careful prying and questioning as the two began to learn about each other, discovering who the other was for the first time.

Odion would update Kek on things going on his family. He knew that he wasn't welcomed by Ishizu or Marik, but Odion still obliged in letting him know what was happening in their lives. He told them that Ishizu found their mother's necklace recently. Apparently, it had been stolen and the police had only recently apprehended the thief. He told him that the culprit was a loud-mouthed albino with a scar on his face.

Kek mentally added this information to the growing list of reasons to kick Akefia's ass for the three hundred seventy-fourth time this month.

Marik was attending classes, now throwing himself whole-heartedly towards becoming a doctor. Apparently, Marik's injuries and scars were causing him more pain as of late. Odion explained that he was interested in dermatology. That made Kek happy in a way. Even though they had suffered, Marik was using his pain and experience to educate himself and help others. Perhaps if he could help others in the way they couldn't get help, then there would be less fucked-up jackasses in the world like Kek.

As for Odion, Kek learned that he worked for a publishing firm as an editor. However, Odion expressed interesting writing. When Kek pushed as to what the topic, Odion remained quiet. Although he was curious, Kek decided to leave the question for now. Odion was a private man and the fact that he had entrusted Kek with this much was more than he had expected.

Kek over time revealed the bits and pieces of his own life. He knew that his family assumed the worst him, so he couldn't deny some of the less pleasant decisions he had made. But for once in his life, he took pride in the decisions he had made recently. From finding a job to ridding himself of bad company, these were big growing moments in his life. It had taken him months to figure out his life, and he was glad for these changes.

But above all that, there was Ryou.

His family could loathe and hate Kek all they wanted. Even if Odion still thought of him as his failure brother after all of their conversations, Kek could resign himself to that. But Ryou had been his better half through all this time. There were a hundred times when Ryou should have run for the hills and dropped Kek. And yet he didn't. For some mind-boggling reason, Ryou chose to stay by his side.

Regardless of what his family thought of Kek, they would not think poorly of Ryou. He didn't deserve that sort of treatment.

Kek didn't mind telling Odion about Ryou. He found that it was easier to talk about him than anything else in his life. He made it no secret how he thought the world of that snarky, quick-witted albino. Never once did Kek consider that his family would disapprove of him being gay, a fact that occurred to Kek weeks later. If Odion condemned him, he didn't show it. In fact, he seemed rather guarded and reserved as he always did.

Despite that, Kek felt like he was starting to know his older brother for the first time. He hadn't known his siblings as a child. They had struggled to survive. But now that there was no struggle to get by in life, Kek could let down his defenses and learn about these people who grew up. And even though they were far from redemption and forgiveness, Kek knew that acknowledging and learning to live with each other was a bigger step than any previously made.

So Kek continued to meet with Odion for lunch. The two would exchange a few words, updating each other on their lives, and quietly part ways. It wasn't much, but it was something. And that was more than Kek could have ever hoped for.

* * *

Kek stepped out of the shower, slipping into a pair of jeans as he decided to check in on Ryou. He found his boyfriend busy working on various figurines for their game night. Ryou had spent weeks trying to talk Kek into starting a Monster World campaign with some of his friends. Although Kek was somewhat skeptical, he was willing to give it a try. The game itself sounded intriguing – it would all depend on how well Kek managed around Ryou's energetic friends..

Kek chuckled, passing Ryou as he decided to grab two sodas from the fridge. Knowing his soft spot for Ryou, he would probably still stick with the game regardless of whether Ryou's companions were irritating or not. After everything he had been through in life, he felt as if nothing could be as frustrating or annoying as the other hassles in his life.

_I've dealt with some real jackasses in my life. Ryou's in a league all his own, after all._

Kek bit back a smirk, not wanting to get caught by Ryou for such snarky thoughts. This, of course, failed as Ryou caught the odd look on his face. "What's up with you?"

"Nothing." Kek smiled as he tossed a soda to Ryou.

The albino just stared a bit longer, cracking the can open. He still remained suspicious. "What did you do to my drink?"

Kek rolled his eyes. "I didn't do anything. You just opened it yourself just now."

Ryou sighed, pursing his lips for a moment before letting the issue go. He took a long sip of his drink before placing it down. He set all of his figures on the table in front of him, a dozen or so pieces to choose.

Kek sat down next to Ryou, wrapping an arm around the albino. "Those for tonight?"

Ryou nodded, thinking to himself for a moment before speaking. "Yeah. There should be six of us tonight, seven if Yuugi convinces his cousin to come join us. I think I know what they will all pick, but I added some new classes and races in case they decided to switch it up."

Ryou leaned down, grabbing his papers off the floor. "Should I go with the horror campaign or the adventure one?"

Kek snorted, a dry smile on his face. "You know my answer."

Ryou rolled his eyes as he looked at the two. "Yeah, and I know what they others will want. So do I aim to please my friends or my boyfriend?"

"Me. Obviously. You have to sleep in the same bed as me tonight."

"Only if you don't roll an epic fail tonight."

Kek chuckled, taking a long sip of his drink. Ryou smirked, leaning into Kek as he enjoyed the warmth radiating off his shirtless boyfriend. The two sat in silence for a bit longer, Kek letting Ryou try to figure out the rest of his material for their game tonight.

Kek watched Ryou for several minutes, a thought crossing his mind as he watched the beautiful male working. "Hey Ryou, mind if I ask you something?"

Ryou didn't move, but he heard a soft grunt to let him know that Ryou was sort of listening. He figured that was as good of a cue as any to continue. "Did you mean what you said back at my siblings' house?"

Ryou jerked his head around, blinking as he turned his full attention to Kek. He looked confused, trying to figure out what he was talking about. A few long seconds pass before Ryou started to speak again, a tentative look on his face. "Wait… you mean… when I said that I loved you?"

Kek glanced away, nodding. The comment had nearly slipped Kek's radar, his mind distracted and panicked from the upcoming confrontation. Yet despite the anxiety of the moment, Kek had felt his heart freeze in his chest when he had heard those words. Even now when Ryou repeated the words in question, he felt his stomach flutter.

Perhaps a few months back, Kek would have dismissed the possibility that Ryou could ever feel that way. The idea that anyone could ever want to be with him, could want to spend time with him, could want to love him, seemed like impossibilities. He had been defeated by the world, aware of his own shortcomings and failures. He was aware of how the world rejected him and burned him.

But perhaps outcasts like himself could still be loved.

And perhaps, as Kek felt Ryou reach out to take his hand, his eyes warm and the smile reassuring, he believed that he could ever love someone back.

Ryou smiled, a light blush grew on his face. His eyes flitted away, an almost bashful look on his face. "Well, yeah… I love you, Kek."

Before dating Ryou, Kek would have never admitted to caring about people in his life. He had no one to care about and even if he did, he wouldn't say it. He felt it was weak to admit something so juvenile and pathetic as affection or care. It was clear that was a coward's excuse. In truth, it was much harder to admit these genuine feelings to someone you care about.

Regardless of how difficult it seemed, Kek wanted Ryou to know how he truly felt. He deserved to hear those words and know how much he was treasured and loved by the broken soul he saved.

Kek raised Ryou's hand, kissing him lightly on the knuckles. He returned the warm smile back, Ryou's face the color of roses. "I love you, Ryou."

* * *

Typically, Kek looked forward to work. He enjoyed the heat and fast-paced environment in the kitchen. His boss was a straightforward sort of person to deal with. Kek loved to cook and even he could agree that his coworkers were decent enough people. Not necessarily the type he would make plans with, but the kind he didn't mind cracking open a beer with after a particularly exhausting shift.

However, this Thursday was different. Kek was eager to finish up at work. He and Ryou had been trying to figure out a couple of days where they both could take off. After negotiating back and forth with their respective bosses, they got three days away for them to go on their on vacation. They were ecstatic – it was only three days, but it was their first vacation together. And with luck, it would be the first of many more in the future.

Despite the time off, the only way they could make it work was a grueling week beforehand. Kek had picked up numerous shifts and had even agreed to an early morning shift the day they were supposed to leave. It placated his boss, however, and Kek knew he would be out before the lunch rush came by. Still, the time wasn't moving fast enough.

He finally saw the clock hit 10:30, Kek ditching his uniform as he clocked off for the rest of the week. He knew Ryou would be up and packing so he didn't want to waste time. He waved to Mr. Hiroto in his office as he left, the cold autumn air greeting him as he left the diner.

Kek entered the apartment door to be greeted by an army of duffel bags and camping equipment. He chuckled as he carefully stepped around, slipping off his shoes as he made his way down the hallway. He could hear Ryou packing up the last of their vanity bag. "Did you get sunscreen?"

The albino rolled his eyes at the question. "Why on earth would we need that?"

Ryou had said the statement completely straight that it took a second for Kek to realize the jest. He smirked as he wrapped his arms around Ryou's waist, resting his head on his pale shoulder. "Well, I personally don't need it. But if you don't think you'll turn into a tomato in the sun, then be my fucking guest."

Ryou snorted. "Pfft. It's November. I won't get sunburn now."

"Your funeral."

Kek left Ryou to finish up with the vanity, checking to see if they had forgotten anything. Ryou joined minutes later, waving a bottle of sunscreen in Kek's face in an exaggerated manner. Kek chuckled, waiting as he saw Ryou pull out a list from his back pocket. "We got stuff to cook, right?"

"Yeah. We should have enough water, but we can pick up another case if need be."

"Towels?"

"Yep."

"Tarp?"

"It's not going to fucking rain!"

Ryou just shrugged, shoving the piece of paper into the pocket of his shorts. "Better safe than sorry."

Kek rolled his eyes, grabbing a couple of their bags. "Can we just load up and go?"

Ryou smiled innocently as he grabbed the keys. "Someone's getting antsy."

Kek just snorted. "You were the one who wouldn't shut up this entire week. Hell, you kept me up last night with your tossing and turning."

"Well excuse me for being excited about our first vacation. Besides, you weren't complaining this morning about me keeping you up last night."

Kek caught the knowing smirk on Ryou's face. He chuckled. " Just grab your damned tarp and let's get the fuck on the road."

Ryou nodded, the two of them loaded up with their camping gear. It took them only two trips to get all of their stuff into their car. Neither of them owned a car, since they could walk to their respective work places. However, since they were headed out of town, Ryou decided to rent a car for the occasion.

Kek sat in the passenger seat, tuning for an acceptable station. He had never learned how to drive – he had been kicked out when he was sixteen and didn't have anyone to teach him to drive afterwards. That was also why he never bothered to move to a different city. It was difficult enough trying to find a place to stay as an underage teenager. The headache of trying to deal with that hadn't seemed worth the effort at the time.

Kek decided to settle on some pop station to serve as background noise. He glanced over at Ryou, who adjusted his sunglasses in the late morning sun. "How far away is the campground?"

Ryou glanced out the rearview mirror, still trying to acclimate himself to driving again. "About an hour or so. We'll have most of the day to set up camp and do whatever we want."

Kek smiled, glancing ahead at the open road. "So what's the first thing you want to do after setting up?"

Ryou laughed, a grin on his face. "The beach of course!"

"We're camping by the beach! Anything else?"

Ryou shook his head. "I want to spend as much time there. I can't wait for you to check it out. You're going to love it."

Kek rolled his eyes. Ryou's overtop excitement for Kek's sake was odd, but that was one of the many quirks about the albino. He let Ryou ramble about all the things they would do on their camping trip together before finally interjecting. "You do realize it's November and the water's going to be freezing?"

"I know you're trying to rain on my parade, but all I can think about is how we're going to have the beach all to ourselves."

Kek snorted, glancing out the window. "I didn't realize you so antisocial."

He smirked as Ryou flipped the bird in his direction. Kek glanced out the window, watching the autumn landscape blur by them as they left Domino behind. Despite the colder weather, Kek couldn't help but feel excited about their trip. It didn't matter if it would be a bit chilly out – he was going to take Ryou out camping for the first time and Ryou was going to take him to the beach for the first time.

There were many firsts in their trip this weekend, and Kek was looking forward to it. It was strange how he had no desire to do these things before. Nothing kept him from going to the shore before, and yet he didn't do it. But now that he had someone he could go with, someone he loved and treasured more than life, the trip meant more. He had someone to share this experience with.

Kek reached and took Ryou's free hand in his, their fingers locked together. Ryou kept his eyes focused on the road, but he noticed the smile growing on his face. Kek found himself returning that smile more as a reflex than anything else. The fact that smiling and laughing were reflexes spoke volumes of where Kek was in life. The fact that he could joke and grin with ease made him realize his own progress.

For once in his life, Kek had more to be happy about than angry.

Kek mindlessly rubbed his thumb over Ryou's hand. He knew from now, his constant anger and frustration would be a thing of the past. His rage had been a shield to protect him from getting hurt and dealing with his own trauma. He always felt guarded, wary and defensive of everything and everyone.

And Ryou decided to walk into his life and break down all his barriers. Together, they let down their defenses, letting themselves be wounded and vulnerable. Kek didn't realize how many ways a person could be broken, and yet he felt as if he had been cracked open, raw and shaken from it all.

But Ryou provided him with a new safety, a new outlook. Whether he had intended it or not, Kek found that he wholeheartedly opened himself to Ryou. He found that not only did he entrust his darkest secrets to the kindhearted albino, but he also reciprocated. For the first time, he felt the need to be there and love someone as best as he could. In truth, Ryou saved Kek from himself.

Kek smirked, glancing out the window. It wouldn't do to be caught up in such sappy thoughts now. They had a camping trip ahead and their lives together to discover. Their road wouldn't always be easy. They likely would butt heads and argue. There would be family run-ins and work conflicts and the regular drama in life that would rear its ugly head. But Kek knew behind it's ugliness was realness. Life wasn't ugly or beautiful – it was what it was.

And in his life, Ryou was his world, a beautiful light breaking through his own darkness. Ryou was real and honest, unashamed and direct. They were there for each other now and they would figure it out together in the future as well. Just as Ryou has always been there for him, Kek intended to always be there for him as well.

And for now, that was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> As of right now, I have no plans on continuing this story, but that may change if there is enough interest.
> 
> Anyway, let me know what you thought of it in the comments below - I'll have the next BLD chapter up by Wednesday :) In the mean time - keep calm and duel on


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